Jen's Job....a play on words part I

I'm still waiting...which I'm beginning to believe is one of the major lessons for this season in my life. Nothing much has changed about my current situation; in fact, in some ways it has gotten worse. Because I am now entering the fourth month of my 'captivity' I've really been struggling with the purpose behind it all. When I first entered this season of life, it came right on the heels of our family's new years resolution to participate in the "Radical Experiment." It was a significant spiritual covenant for our family and any time you plan to conquer new ground for God you can expect an attack from the enemy. So initially I thought my current life events were an attack. But when things don't change, and God doesn't immediately come to your rescue, it is natural I think to begin to question, "Is this an attack from the enemy or is it a test from God?" I started to think it was much more of a test because it wasn't being resolved quickly. But when another wave came and hit me, and that wave was full of hostility, evil intent, deceit, and fear...I knew who was the force behind this whole situation. This is an attack from my enemy. He's not known as the Accuser, the Father of Lies, and the Serpent for nothing. He owns those names because it's the way he operates and he loves having people on Earth who will do his dirty work for him. Someone I highly respect told me that if something is a test, we should walk in humility. But if it is an attack we should walk boldly and courageous (with the full armor of God). What kind of walk should I have? How does that translate into daily living?
The Holy Spirit reminded me of a well known biblical character that people often debate as to whether his afflictions were an attack or test. The Lord told me to read the story of Job. (is this God's sense of humor since my problem is at work?)  God's word is alive and active (Heb 4:12) and it is amazing how a bible story you have read before will come alive to you when it has something new to speak into your current situation. The story of Job begins by telling us that Job was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. What does blameless mean? Does it mean he didn't sin? No; Romans tell us that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Only Jesus was sinless. Blameless means he didn't intend or set out to sin; yes, he was human and made mistakes and did not live up to everything God's law commands of us. But he feared God and when he saw evil in others, or in himself, he was quick to go the other direction. We are also told he was wealthy in material goods.
In the first scene set for us, the angels come to present themselves to God. Satan also comes into the Lord's presence after "roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."
--"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1st Peter 5:7-9
The Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant, Job? Okay stop right there. Why would the Lord direct our enemy's attentions towards us? Truth be told, if he is prowling for someone to devour, I'm trying to fly under the radar. I'd rather he pass me by and mess with someone else. Satan responds by reminding God that he has put a "hedge around him and his household...you have blessed the work of his hands"; if you remove that hedge, surely Job will curse God.
This passage pretty much tells us that the enemy can only have access to true believers only if God first allows it; a "hedge of protection" has to be removed first. And the access he is allowed is only as much as God grants. This brings us back to our initial dilemma. Is it an attack or a test? Or.....is it a little of both? I'm going to suggest it is both based on the scripture I have read and what is going on in my own heart during this season of life. I know that I have been attacked. And based on scripture I have to believe that God allowed it to happen, which is the part that is a test. He would only allow it because he knows that ultimately it can be worked for my good. Being given more than I can handle on my own has caused me to press in closer to God than I probably have ever been. I hang on his every word waiting for his will to be revealed.
Like Job, "what I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil." Eventually Job is so overwhelmed emotionally, and physically that he actually just wants God to take his life. He wanted to quit:
--"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead." 2nd Corinth 8-9  This is the scriptural proof that sometimes God does give you more than you handle, but only for a single purpose.
God knows that if through the attack we learn to press closer into him, we ultimately will defeat our enemy by persevering. Persevering through the attacks matures our faith. (James 1) Maturing in our faith ultimately makes our faith more genuine. I remember my pastor's wife used to tell a story that she slept on the top bunk of a bunk bed and always kept falling out. Her mother told her, "don't stay so close to the edge. that way you won't fall out." The same is true for our faith; we have to keep pressing inward.
--"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 2nd Corinth 8-9
Satan intends for the attack to cause our faith to ultimately weaken and eventually fail. But God knows we have the ability to persevere and that's why he allows it in the first place; rather than cursing God, we end up giving glory to Jesus Christ. So HA! You thought your attack was going to cripple me and discredit my God, but in reality all your doing is making my faith more genuine. So, I thank you.  How's that for boldness?