The Emerald Coast MUDRUN for Orphans

Yesterday was the Mud Run for Orphans. It was the first annual event here locally and was a huge success with over 1500 signed up to participate. The event benefits Heart of the Bride, a local ministry, supportive of orphanages particularly in Africa.
Since Cameron and I have now started our second round of Boot Camp we both felt well prepared to participate. The only obstacle that seemed daunting to me was the monkey bars. I know.....the monkey bars? The issue is that in the past I never had much upper body strength. I have always participated in sports that mostly required lower body agility (soccer, running, dance). However, Boot Camp has really helped with this and now I can whip out some serious push-ups with the best of them. Monkey bars or pullups are hard for most females, so I began training as soon as I signed up for the race. I started with hanging from a pull up bar as long as I could, gradually lasting longer. I actually only made it across them for the first time about 2 weeks ago. That's when God whispered in my ear.
I was sitting in church and thinking about the race and particularly those darn monkey bars and the Holy Spirit brought to mind the scripture, 2nd Corinthians 3:28:

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

 I know it sounds a little kooky, but the Lord placed that scripture in front of the monkey bars and told me to think about them that way. Each wrung is like moving with the Lord from glory to glory. Although it can be hard, our job is just to hang on. Such a word for my life situation right now! This led to God basically suggesting that I do the same for each of the obstacles in the race. And so I did; I chose a scripture for each obstacle on the course map.

It was amazing to watch the Lord clear my path prior to the race. So many times I have watched his hand in the timing of deliveries and patient's care, and this time was no different. Any patient who could have presented during that time and potentially made it impossible to complete the task, delivered in advance or was admitted to another hospital. Everyone else stayed conveniently pregnant. The take home message is this...when the Lord wants you to accomplish his will, he will either 1) remove the obstacles completely or 2) give you the tools to demolish them. 

As Cameron and I ran the race together, we stopped briefly and read the appropriate scriptures through panted breaths. I had them printed with small font in a sandwich bag in my pants. My goal was affirm that no obstacle is too big when we put God and his word in front of it. I wanted to imprint this in Cameron's heart along with a visual reminder for him of each scripture when he needs them later in life. It was powerful and emotional as we crossed the finish line hand in hand. Oh, and in case you are wondering....I killed the monkey bars! 

Made it across the first time no problem, thanking the Lord the whole time!

Here are the scriptures we read for each obstacle:

MUD CRAWL – Psalm 36:9-11

How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings, To eat our fill at the banquet you spread as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water. You're a fountain of cascading light, and you open our eyes to light. Keep on loving your friends; do your work in welcoming hearts. Don't let the bullies kick me around, the moral midgets slap me down. Send the upstarts sprawling flat on their faces in the mud.

WATER HAUL- Matthew 11:30

“Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

HURDLES- Romans 16: 16-18

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.” (They will try to trip you up!)

HAYSTACK HILL- Luke 22:31

"Simon, stay on your toes. Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from me, like chaff from wheat. Simon, I've prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out. When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start."

WATER SLIDE- Proverbs 25:26

“Like a muddied spring or a polluted well are the righteous who give way to the wicked.”

UPHILL MUD TUNNELS- 2^nd Thess 2:15-17

So, friends, take a firm stand, feet on the ground and head high. Keep a tight grip on what you were taught, whether in personal conversation or by our letter. May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your speech.

RICE TOTE- Matthew 23:5-7

You won't go wrong in following their teachings on Moses. But be careful about following them. They talk a good line, but they don't live it. They don't take it into their hearts and live it out in their behavior. It's all spit-and-polish veneer. Instead of giving you God's Law as food and drink by which you can banquet on God, they package it in bundles of rules, loading you down like pack animals. They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn't think of lifting a finger to help.

 TIRE JUMP- Isaiah 26:7

“But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them.”

 MONKEY BARS- 2^nd Corinth 3:28

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 

MUD MOUNTAINS- Matthew 17:20

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

MUD PIT- Psalm 40:2

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place” This was the verse on our shirts that I had made for Cameron and I. Our team name was 'MudfortheSon'.

Today at church the message was on A Story called Life. Each of us has a story to tell and as the plot thickens in that story, there will be obstacles to overcome. Pastor Wayne told us that every Christian will at times have to decide if God really is bigger than what we see in our path...if he really is the "Great I AM". When our spirit lines up with our heart and our head that he really is , that is true worship. And at that moment, Pastor Wayne repeated the same scripture that God has initially whispered in my heart; He will take us from glory to glory if we just remember to trust him. (Coincidence? I think not)  Immediately, I burst into tears because the whole experience had come full circle. God is real. He is bigger than our obstacles. If he can overcome the grave, then he has the power to take us from glory to glory despite any current circumstance. All we have to do is believe, trust, and hang on for dear life. Just like those blessed monkey bars!

Our God's Not Dead

Most of the time I use my blog to share some insights God has given me regarding circumstances that I am dealing with in life. So in many ways, my blog is my prayer journal. It has been rewarding to go back and read my entries. This is why most Christians are encouraged to keep a journal...so you don't forget that you serve a God who really listens, really cares, and really answers prayers.
Yesterday morning I woke up and remembered a pretty vivid dream that I had the night before. It actually was pretty scary and I felt the emotions of fear, trembling, and anxiety that I had experienced in my dream. What followed my awakening is what got my attention, so I wanted to record it here.  It went something like this:
I was out in the countryside. It was becoming dark...almost dusk. I saw a farmhouse in the distance. To get there I needed to cross a big field that was more like a fallow crop field. I was worried that it was getting dark and I wouldn't make it before it got dark outside. In the distance I saw what looked like a coyote or wolf so I started running across the field to get to the house. Before I could get there, it became pitch dark and what appeared as one creature now became a pack of wolves. There were too many to count. I started screaming and yelling...thinking that if I imitate a creature bigger than myself they might be intimidated. However, every time I turned around one came at me from another direction snarling and gnashing its teeth. I was terrified. Eventually, somehow I made it inside the house. From inside I watched the wolves attack a deer and tear it to bits. But out of no where came a large lion...a large male lion... who roared and then ripped those wolves apart with one attempt. I was scared, but I knew I was safe inside the house. I wondered where that lion had come from...but thought, thank God he is here and I am safe inside. I woke up to the alarm.
After waking, I started my usual morning routine. I stumbled to the kitchen, started up the coffee, put in my contacts and made my breakfast. I had remembered the dream, but not all the components. I mostly remembered the wolves and my fear. My usual routine, once my breakfast is made, is to sit down with my coffee and read my daily bible reading on One-Year-Bible-Online. This year I am reading through the message and each day's reading has an old test/new test/psalms/proverbs selection. This was part of what I read :
Luke 10:
Lambs in a Wolf Pack
 ^1-2Later the Master selected seventy and sent them ahead of him in pairs to every town and place where he intended to go. He gave them this charge:    "What a huge harvest! And how few the harvest hands. So on your knees; ask the God of the Harvest to send harvest hands.
 ³"On your way! But be careful—this is hazardous work. You're like lambs in a wolf pack. 

Psalm 74:
You walked off and left us, and never looked back. God, how could you do that?
   We're your very own sheep.....
Mark and remember, God, all the enemy
      taunts, each idiot desecration.
   Don't throw your lambs to the wolves;
      after all we've been through, don't forget us.
   Remember your promises;
      the city is in darkness, the countryside violent. 
 Don't leave the victims to rot in the street;
      make them a choir that sings your praises.

 ^22-23 On your feet, O God—
      stand up for yourself!
   Do you hear what they're saying about you,
      all the vile obscenities?
   Don't tune out their malicious filth,
      the brawling invective that never lets up.

Coincidence? You decide. But when I told my family, we decided my dream was a vision from God. He wants us to know that He is real, He is alive, and He is our security. Why do I say this? Because right now my family is facing some pretty mean looking wolves who are threatening to devour us. They are trying to threaten our faith because they are challenging all the things that in this life we want to have security in...our finances, our health, our ability to provide for ourselves. I think God was telling me that any attempts that I have done to make myself seem "bigger" than my fears, are just a facade. My real security comes from the fact that I can run into the house of the Lord and then and only then will he arrive just in time to fight my battles for me. I think he wanted us to know that right before the darkest hour, he is going to show up. We need to know that. God, please show up.
My dream reminded me of a popular song right now by Newsboys, "Our God's Not Dead". The lyrics repeat:
Our gods not dead he's surely alive
He's living on the inside roaring like a lion
He's roaring he's roaring he's roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide
When faith is dead I need a resurrection
Some how
And I'm lost in your freedom
And this world I've overcome

By gods not dead he is surely alive
He is living on the inside roaring like a lion
Our gods not dead he is surely alive
He's living on the inside roaring like a lion

He's roaring he is roaring he's roaring like a lion
He's roaring he is roaring he's roaring like a lion

Look For the Fruit

This past week was hard. I found out that someone close to me had been deceiving me for quite some time. The deception was really not that surprising; but, the depths to which this person has fallen was quite a disappointment. Furthermore, I have expended a lot of time and energy pouring myself into her trying to impact her life for Christ. When you do that, you can't help but take it personally. But that is exactly what God wants. God makes it pretty clear. If you love him, then you have to love people. You can't separate the two; he wants you to feel it.
When I say that I wasn't surprised by the turn of events, it's because I have been watching her behavior for quite some time. This individual, who claimed to know Christ, continually was making decisions that were not compatible with her "belief" system. I've discovered that Satan uses this tool quite often to tarnish the Bride of Christ/the Church. Our lives as believers should be different than those of non-believers. Otherwise, what good is our faith?  There seems to be nothing more damaging than a Christian who is not genuine or appears to be insincere. This spurned quite a few discussions about how one can really know if someone is a true believer or not. Not coincidentally, I am still working on my James bible study. James is straight to the point about this one. He tells us that to the extent you live it, is the extent you believe it. No matter what you confess with your mouth, if your behavior (works) don't back it up, then you probably don't really believe it with your heart either.
I started really thinking about this and had a revelation about why God might tell us as his children what our number one priority should be. Three times the bible tells us what the greatest commandment is for those of us who are believers. (Deut 6:5, Mark 12:30,Luke 10:27)
"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. ³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” -Mark 12:28-30

1. Love with all your HEART: The heart is the seat of our emotions. It drives our passions and our expressions of those passions. I think when someone accepts Christ as their "Savior", it is a heart decision. Apparently 85% of people believe in some type of after-life. Unfortunately, most people think that if their good deeds outweigh their bad, that somehow that will provide some type of security for their eternity. The truth is, there is nothing we can DO that guarantees us salvation. It's what Christ did that provides that. Realizing that someone died for you, even before you acknowledged him, evokes emotion. Coming to the realization that you need him to save you from yourself, is a heart decision. Unfortunately, the world is constantly seeking to control your passions and it is possible for love to grow cold.

2. Love with all your MIND:  The mind is the seat of our intellect, the ability to reason. The entire message of the Gospel is about repentance. Jesus did not preach about changing our hearts, but rather about changing our minds. (Do not conform to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. Rom 12:2), (Set your minds on things above, not earthly things. Col 3:2) Loving God with all your mind is about making Jesus your Lord, not just your Savior.  Unless your mind is under God's authority, your intellect will eventually attempt to talk you out his lordship over your life. The heart feels it, but the mind seals it. When Jesus is Lord in your life, you will do what he asks of you whether you 'feel' like it or not. Jesus provided us with a very powerful parable about two types of believers in Matthew 21: 28-31. I  think this parable has settled this issue for me. It is possible to be believer in Christ ( by making him your Savior on emotional level), but never submit to his Lordship. This explains the son in the parable who said the right words, but didn't follow them up with deeds of obedience. No where does God tell us it is okay to love him only with our hearts. In fact, quite the opposite. "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." Matt 7:21.

3. Love with all your STRENGTH: Our strength represents our natural abilities,gifts, and talents.  When God gives us instructions, there is an order to how he does it. It is deliberate. It was meant to flow from the heart, to the mind and then to the body.  Hebrews 8:10 puts it this way:
 This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel
   after that time, declares the Lord.
I will put my laws in their minds
   and write them on their hearts.
I will be their God,
   and they will be my people.
The fact is that as the church, we are the body of Christ here on Earth. Once you have accepted him as your Savior, you are part of that church. Setting your mind on obedience to his laws, whether you feel it or not, is part of loving him back for what he has done for you. It is making him Lord, and Savior. God knows that once you have done those two things, then and only then will your behavior will change. This is the only way we can be the church God has called us to be. As believers, we are each given gifts meant to be expressed for the Kingdom. The bible calls this fruit. Sure it is certainly possible to be generous, loving, hospitable, or encouraging apart from Christ. But these are the leaves on the tree, not the life giving fruitful harvest a hungry world is looking for.  None of these deeds are fruitful unless He is the motivation for it; our walk has to equal our talk. This only will happen when as believers we submit not just our hearts, but our minds and our talents to Jesus. The bottom line is this; how do you know if someone loves Jesus with all their heart, mind, and strength?
"Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." Matt 7:20 If you don't see any fruit, proceed with extreme caution, especially in relationships that involve intimacy or trust. Certainly it is possible for each of us to have areas of our lives that need some pruning work. I am thinking God used this example with my 'friend' to show me an extreme case and to make me mindful how he is constantly at work to bring us under his lordship in the areas of our lives that need it most.

Lessons from Boot Camp: Installment #1

One of my instructors at the gym is training for a competition. She encouraged the rest of us to join her during the preceding four months to get at fit as we possibly could. The ultimate goal would be losing pounds, particularly body fat percentages, and gaining both strength and muscle. Her husband, Joe, kindly offered to start teaching boot camps during this time to help us towards our goals. The challenge started back in December and will continue until April so we are more than half way through. To motivate us further we gave our group an identity and named the challenge, "Operation Bikini"; our goal is be the best we can be by swimsuit season. So far, I have lost 10 pounds and >3% body fat.

My church is just finished a sermon series called "Hallmark: When you Care to Live Your Very Best." The inspiration for the series came from Psalm 24:
Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD?
   Who may stand in his holy place?
The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
   who does not trust in an idol
   or swear by a false god.
This series challenged us to examine our hearts in some key areas so that we can live our very best for God. We looked at having hearts that draw God's attention. We examined what scripture says about living without offense, without stubbornness, with a sense of urgency and finally today being fully alive by dealing with un-forgiveness. Our goal has been to cleanse our hearts of anything that is holding us back from our best so we can ascend to what God has in store for us; the series will be capped off by a night of worship aptly entitled "Ascend." I will be singing with the choir.
 You are probably wondering where I am going with this. Back to boot camp. When we first began the challenge, the group was quite large. Many people joined with good intentions. The fact of the matter is that boot camp is hard work....just like life. Some of what we are asked to do, both physically, and spiritually is not fun. Right from the beginning there were folks who would say "I Can't do that" without even trying it yet. They spoke defeat into their circumstance and sure enough they couldn't achieve it.God reminded me what I already knew in church today. Our words have power; giving them breath means giving them life. Negative thoughts that are then put into audible words will affect your future. The truth is, that they actually counteract what God is trying to accomplish in your life.

• "It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation."Matt 12:37 MSG
• " Don't bad-mouth your leaders, not even under your breath,
     And don't abuse your betters, even in the privacy of your home.
     Loose talk has a way of getting picked up and spread around.
     Little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide" Eccles 10:20 MSG

I realized today that part of what might be causing me to 'wait on God' in my circumstances to accomplish his desired end in my struggles is....me. I am working against what he wants to accomplish with my words; the bible clearly says that even conversations that Greg and I have in privacy of our home can affect my success. Not unlike boot camp, what I speak over my circumstances, has a huge impact. This is sometimes harder than it appears. So as Beth Moore says, FAKE IT UNTIL YOU FEEL IT! If you can't find positive words in your heart, then speak scripture (God's words) over your situation. Eventually the feelings with follow as you get stronger than you  thought you could be. It's kind like when we would run at boot camp and say, "skinny jeans" through pants of breath.
Greg and I had a great conversation after church. We have made a commitment not to complain, speak negatively, or curse our circumstances or the people involved in causing it, even in the privacy of our own home. I may still have to wait on the Lord to change my circumstances, but I certainly don't want the hold up to be me. Amen. 

Wasted Talent: Reflections on a Recent Death

This week a very well known celebrity, Whitney Houston, died. Presumably the cause was a lethal mixture of alcohol and drugs. Her death produced a lot of public response because she possessed enormous musical singing talent. One could legitimately say she had one of the most talented voices in this generation; I remember listening to her albums as a young adult and many of her songs elicited quite an emotional response from the listener. My favorite might possibly be, "I Will Always Love You" from "The Bodyguard."; chokes me up every time. Whitney first learned how to sing in church. Her mother, Cissy Houston is an accomplished gospel music talent. To many observers there is irony in the fact that the night before Whitney died, she is recorded singing "Yes, Jesus loves me." on stage appearing quite intoxicated. Such a vocal talent, tragically wasted; a unique gift that was snuffed out by the slavery of addiction. it begs asking some questions. Somehow she grew up singing about Jesus, but yet her life ended the way it did. How did this happen?  I think this is why her death evokes something in us. It is supposed to.
I'm currently doing the Beth Moore bible study on the book of James called "Mercy Triumphs." The book of James is not for those interested in reading Bible-lite; it is not a book with those 'feel good' verses we love to claim. Rather, James plans to get in your business from the very first line. The basic premise of James is: To the extent you live it, is the extent you believe it. Yes, James believes in God's grace and the power of forgiveness of sin. However, James makes it perfectly clear that once God has shown you the available freedom in his word, if we don't live it out , it is because we don't believe it in our heart. When I really think about it, I have to admit he is right. James puts it like this:
"But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." James 1:22-25
In this passage James tells us it is possible to be a 'forgetful listener'. The example of Whitney Houston might be an extreme one, but the truth is we are all capable of this.  It is possible to look intently into the word of God, even be deeply moved by it (like hearing one of Whitney's songs), and yet walk away and never put it into application. It is possible to be a saved Christian but still live a life in bondage because we never believed what the word said applied to us nor that it had the power to change us. In my bible study Beth tells us the Greek word used for "look intently" in this passage actually means to bend down/stoop and peer intently into something.

 It reminded me of the scene from Lion King where Simba looks at his reflection in the pond. Rafiki tells Simba to look into his reflection and there he sees who he was really meant to be...a reflection of the king, his Father. (Mufasa). This is no different for you or I. When we look intently into God's word, God will show you....you. The you who you are now and the you that you are supposed to be...a reflection of the King of Kings, Jesus. "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2Corinth 3:17-18
Every person was placed here by God for a reason. Each of us has a gift/talent that is meant to be expressed. Whitney's gift was singing capable of evoking/expressing emotion. What is yours? What is mine? One could argue her gift was meant for worship; the enemy certainly has a motive to snuff that out. The tragedy of her life, a gift wasted, is also one we should all learn from. Each of us is deposited with a gift; but that gift is meant to be expressed to show the glory of God. The bible calls this our "fruit". It is very clear. We are supposed to be known by our fruit, not our talents.  As humans, we are fallible. We make mistakes; we make bad choices. If God is the potter and we are the clay, we are some cracked pots for sure. But if God has placed his light in us, it's only through those cracks that the light is visible to others. Don't waste your gift because of your struggles. Look intently into God's word and let him change you from the inside out; this is where true freedom is found.
"Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.  If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us." 2Corin 4:6-8

Keeping Alert

As I mentioned in my last blog, it has been a year since our lives dramatically changed. God has definitely been with us, watching over us constantly and carrying us through. But in some ways, we are still waiting for rescue. A year seems both short and long at the same time. It is an effort to stay in the Spirit; God's word says that those who "wait on the Lord, will renew their strength. They will not grow weary." The flesh, however, easily grows tired of waiting.
I stumbled on a good example of this in my bible studies. I am currently reading the Message translation. One year bible on line provides a daily reading of old/new testament, psalms and proverbs. As I was reading about the first Passover when God 'rescued' the Israelites from Egypt the wording struck me. It said,
"At the end of the 430 years, to the very day, God's entire army left Egypt. God kept watch all night, watching over the Israelites as he brought them out of Egypt. Because God kept watch, all Israel for all generations will honor God by keeping watch this night—a watchnight." Exodus 12:40-42.
My mind instantly flashed from the first Passover to the last one recorded that God was earthly present at...the Lord's Supper. Not coincidentally, it soon followed in my daily reading.
If you recall, Jesus celebrated the Passover meal with his disciples in the upper room. While they celebrated communion, Jesus prepared them for what was about to happen (his crucifixion). Although it was going to be a difficult circumstance, the end result would be monumental in achieving God's will and advancing his kingdom. It was the rescue they didn't even know they needed; it was the rescue for all of us. They left the dinner and went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.
" Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, "Stay here while I go over there and pray." Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, "This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me."
 Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said to Peter, "Can't you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert; be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there's another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire."
 He then left them a second time. Again he prayed, "My Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I'm ready. Do it your way."When he came back, he again found them sound asleep. They simply couldn't keep their eyes open. This time he let them sleep on, and went back a third time to pray, going over the same ground one last time."Matt 26 MSG
It occurred to me that the night the disciples fell asleep was supposed to be the 'watchnight'. It was the Passover; because God watched over them they were supposed to honor him by keeping watch for him. But yet, their flesh was too weak. This spoke to me. I want to persevere with the type of faith that continues to wait for God. I don't want my impatience for rescue to tempt me to take short cuts that will ultimately not lead me to God's will for my life. I don't want comfort to supersede my calling...'like an old dog by the fire'. God has shown me that comfort is not always in our best interest; see my last blog post. To be the kind of follower God calls us to be, we have to stay alert despite our stressful circumstances for what he is preparing to do in our lives. Romans 5 puts it this way:
"We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit." So I continue to wait for rescue in my captivity.
Psalm 130: 5-7:
I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
   and in his word I put my hope.
 I wait for the Lord
   more than watchmen wait for the morning,
   more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Training in Babylon

Today has officially been one year since my life abruptly changed. Looking back, I can honestly say that God has taken my circumstances and ultimately worked them for my good. (Romans 8:28) Although my circumstances haven't changed much in the past year, I have. And that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Let me give you a couple pictures to illustrate. This was me one year ago. Ugh.

I was very comfortable with my life. To use a familiar saying in the South, "I was fat and happy." Literally. But God knew that my comfort was not working for me both literally and spiritually. So, he forced me to move. At first, it was painful. I had to give up my routine, my house, my church, my friends and worst of all...my habits. All the things that I relied upon for solace, comfort, and daily sustenance were suddenly stripped away. But, I have learned that was ultimately the point. God has taught me to live a new way. To survive, I literally had to stop relying on things and start relying on Him. This meant a radical change in my daily diet, which begins each morning by feasting on his word. I have literally clung to it for its promises, my hope, and my salvation as I have walked these last 365 days. Instead of worldly things sustaining me, it is Jesus. Only Jesus. "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry.." John 6:35

Gradually other healthy activities have replaced my former routines. I have literally thrown myself into working out and living healthy. It has helped me to cope, endure, and persevere through this trial. And true to this blog, has helped to illustrate many spiritual principles that often can be related to physical challenges. His word tells us that suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance produces character. Character produces hope.

This is me now. I have lost twenty pounds with the intention to lose much more. This in itself makes me proud. However, I am more proud of what I have gained. I am stronger in many ways than I have ever been. Building both spiritual and physical muscle by feasting daily on the diet the Lord had planned for me. Reflecting back, in many ways it reminded Greg and I of the story of Daniel. Daniel was taken into 'captivity' in Babylon. He had a choice what he was going to eat on a daily basis....worldly pleasures, or the strict diet of God's supply.  A diet of worldly pleasures might taste good going down, but in the end Daniel knew the results of 'fat and happy' was a lie.  He chose the latter. After the test, he looked better (than his peers, amen!) and ultimately received the hope from God he needed to persevere through the rest of his captivity. My prayer is that it is the same for me.
"Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.”  So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days. At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead. To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds." Daniel 1:13-17

Every year I have asked God to provide me with a bible verse for the coming year. This year, I believe it is Philippians 1:19-20. "For I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body." Thank you Lord that you are faithful to complete all the good work that you begin in us. I pray that I will continue to persevere with courage and that 2012 will be our year of deliverance, both from our physical captivity, and our spiritual chains that have held us back from fully proclaiming Christ. May 2012 be a year of hope; I think confidently I can say, we're looking better already.