God WITH Us: Advent Reflections on My Past Year

 I've spent a lot of time thinking about this past year. How could I not, right? When you experience a major life upheaval that points you in a completely new direction, for most people, it is accompanied by some introspection. 

I spend a lot of time now driving in my car. The truth is I am not fully transitioned to my new home (which is under construction) so I am in this weird limbo between the old and new. And most days that involves about an hour-long commute. So, I recently decided to begin listening to faith-based podcasts during my drive. It is an hour of solitude, in my car, where I can listen to God's word and engage in contemplative prayer. I listened to one by Jamie Winship where he spoke a lot about fear, which is what drew me in. He said he always goes into every situation or decision asking God two simple questions: 1. What do you want me to know? 2. What do you want me to do? (With that knowledge) If you look at scripture, God rarely answers the "why" questions. (Just ask Job!) But he will always answer with what He wants you to know about Himself in your circumstances because God prioritizes relationship.

Keeping that in the forefront, I was listening to another podcast where two women who work together were conversing and the one asked the other, "What can I do for you? How can I pray for you?" And the other responded, "You don't have to do anything, you are with me every day. You are WITH me. You do life with me. That's all the support I need." And in that moment. it hit me like a ton of bricks. The Holy Spirit whispered. "This is what I need you to know: I am WITH you. That is all you need." 

Being WITH someone means you do life together. When you go through something really tough, it can make all the difference just having the support of someone who intimately understands by your side. Healthy biblical marriage is a wonderful picture of this; you do life together, for better or worse. Often when people experience the deepest pains of life, they just need someone to sit with them in it. No words. Just presence.  In the scriptures, this is called ABIDING. Jesus spoke about how we should do life (good and bad) with him in John Chapter 15. 

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

 Why is knowing that God is WITH you or abiding in Jesus so important? Because knowing it will fundamentally define your identity.  Quite simply put, you are a branch.  And your identity informs what you do (your fruit). Good trees produce good fruit. Bad trees produce bad fruit. As humans, we spend a lot of time focused on the fruit. The bible even tells us to, right? "A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." (Matthew 7:18-20) You recognize followers of Jesus by their fruit. But only focusing on the fruit can be problematic and misleading.  God knows that.

Of course, I have known for a long time that God is with me. But the question is, had I incorporated that into my identity? Did I let that inform my vocation, my behavior, and my choices? The truthful answer is... sometimes. And sometimes doesn't produce consistent fruit. God is always more interested in who you are becoming than what you are doing. Being informs doing.  When you know Jesus is WITH you, you don't have to react out of fear. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you can have peace in difficult circumstances. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you can engage others in love without fear of rejection. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you don't seek validation or meaning elsewhere like social media, followers, or friends. Let's be honest, isn't that why we go to social media or the world for validation? Because we want to be seen and feel like someone is doing life along with us. "Do it for the gram" if misaligned in your heart is a cheap and lonely substitute for the One who really knows you and gives your worth. Knowing that Jesus is literally WITH you is the only way you can truly walk in all that God has for you. This knowledge making its way from your head to your heart in our minute-by-minute decisions is called maturing in discipleship.  Apart from Him, we produce nothing with eternal significance.  Moses knew this. The disciples knew this. 

In Exodus 33, the Israelites had just left Egypt on their way to the promised land. Like me, they were in limbo between the old and the new. But despite everything the Lord did through miracles to show them He was with them, they complained, doubted, and faltered. Therefore, the Lord decided he should not go with them. Moses, who talked with the Lord face to face, met with God. He knew that if the Lord was not WITH them, it was futile. "If your presence is not with us, do not send us up from here." 

In John 6, Jesus spoke to some of the challenging parts of doing life with him. It was "a hard teaching." and the word says after it "many of the disciples turned back and no longer followed him." But when he asked the twelve disciples if they wanted to leave too, Peter replied, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life." Peter knew that life WITH Jesus was always the better choice than trying to do life without him, even when it is difficult. 

So many of the things the Lord did for me during my past year I believe were to simply remind me that He was WITH me in it all. There were so many things, I actually started keeping a log. I had multiple prophetic dreams. I saw things in nature at key times with biblical significance. I had key events that happened with biblical numerical significance. I was led to read scriptures that would have particular significance on particular days.  But the biggest things were simply evidences of His love and grace: He showed me favor and rescued me in my circumstances when I didn't earn it or deserve it. That is who he is. And so, that is the fruit He produces. He showed all of us that by sending his son Jesus Christ to Earth to reconcile us to Himself. Not to condemn the world, but to save it. (John 3:16-17.)

Don't underestimate the power of WITH-ness. It informs your identity. Jesus was our model for this too. Before he began his ministry or vocation, God confirmed his identity.   "As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”  It was right after this event that Jesus formally began his ministry or vocation as "messiah". 

And this leads to the reason I believe why the Spirit really wanted me to understand that the Lord is WITH me.  The past year was an attack from the enemy focused primarily on my identity. Without knowing that the Lord was absolutely with me in all the circumstances, I may not have stood firm. I am a child of God and with me he is pleased. Not because of anything that I do, but because I have placed my faith in his son Jesus Christ. That is what defines me and everything else should flow from that place of rest. Again, that knowledge is called discipleship. Therefore, it is a lifelong work in progress.  God definitely has something for me in my new town. And if that is where He led me, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else without him. Most importantly, God brought me there because of who I am becoming through trusting Him in all of this. 

 During this Advent, let me encourage you to meditate on the WITH-ness of God. What would you do differently if you knew He was right there with you in both the highs and the lows? I'd be willing to bet you would be less afraid, feel more loved, and be less anxious. In other words, you would have peace. I'm here to tell you that Peace is a Person, and his name is Jesus.  The best news is He is with you and already knows all the details of your life. He cares intimately. Emmanual... God WITH us. God WITH me and you. Doing life together. Merry Christmas!

Punctuation Matters: My favorite symbol. (Part 2)

 Three months ago, my life took a major turn driven by circumstances. As I mentioned in my last post, sometimes life demands you to either pivot your perspective or crumble. I will propose that when your theology and your psychology don't match, that is when most people crumble. Why do I say this? Because when life gets really hard, you have to decide if you really believe what you say you do. But more importantly, you have to decide if you believe that God is really who He says and that He can do what only He can do. Each time we answer those questions with a resounding "Yes", our faith grows and makes trusting Him the next time so much easier.

To successfully pivot, punctuation matters. You cannot put a period in the story where it does not belong. You have to let God be God in order to see what only He can do in your circumstances. Subsequently my favorite punctuation symbol in this season of life, is the semicolon. 

A semicolon is a punctuation mark that joins two related but independent clauses that are similar and complete statements on their own. They could each stand on their own, but the connection between them is the clincher. The first statement may be how bleak your circumstance appears or how hopeless it makes you feel. I will be so bold to suggest the enemy often writes these statements, especially if they contain absolutes. (i.e. you'll never get back up. you'll always be a failure. if God loved you, he would never have allowed this to happen) Don't grab the pen and cognitively place a period here. Instead, allow the truths of scripture and what they tell us about the character of God to mark a semicolon. Then the subsequent statement that follows we must submit and trust that only God can write. The bible has numerous examples of this to reference.  Here are a few. And they all share one key pivoting phrase, (see what I did there) ..... BUT, GOD....

But GOD.... this phrase that exists in the bible when God interceded in humanly overwhelming circumstances for his people in ways that only He could do so that 1. they would undoubtedly know it was Him working on their behalf and 2. so He alone would receive the glory. Those two little words are actually instrumental to a believer's ability to endure when circumstances feel hopeless.

• Genesis 50:20 when Joseph was talking to his brothers many years after they had sold him into slavery. "You intended to harm me; (but) God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." 
• Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
• 2nd Corinth 7:5-7"For when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us." 
• Romans 5:8 "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

 If you have any doubts about how God could possibly work your hopeless situation, remind yourself of this verse from Ephesians 2:

"As for you, you we were dead in your transgressions and sins. (OH, if we stopped the story here we would all be crushed)... But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." 

You were dead; now you are made alive in Christ and heir to immeasurable grace and kindness. Still think God can't work in your current circumstances when all looks bleak? Think again; God loves the impossible. He did it through Jesus Christ. It literally is who He is. There is nothing that demonstrates his love better for you more, than when you can do absolutely nothing for yourself feeling at your lowest point, and yet, He steps in to rescue you. He makes a way when there is no way. It is his nature and he loves to do it. If He can solve your biggest problem through Jesus Christ, He can change your current circumstances in a moment.

This kind of love anchors us in stormy seas; it helps us endure whatever the enemy keeps throwing at us. God has done this for me continually throughout these three months and continues to do so. It has been simultaneously remarkable and crazy; when the time is right, I will share all the ways "BUT GOD" interceded. The irony is that to experience it we have our own connected statement to make and it comes from Isaiah 40. "BUT, those who hope in the LORD....they will renew their strength."
I never understood this scripture before like I do now. When you feel like you hit rock bottom, or circumstances could crush you, BUT GOD intervenes on your behalf, your strength to endure is instantly renewed. Instead of feeling crushed, I literally felt like I was flying above everything that was happening to me. When everything was falling apart, He literally flipped the script. It absolutely made no earthly sense and that is how I know it was God. 

He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Being a runner, I have always loved this verse in the physical sense. Now, after recent circumstances, it has taken on an extremely richer meaning for me. To spiritually run and not grow weary, when most others would stumble, and fall is a big deal.  Look at the last verse. It is literally connected by a semicolon.  It has been the entire basis for this blog since its inception: my faith keeps me running, and I keep running because of my faith. 

But God made a way right in the middle of her circumstances; for that, I will praise Him the rest of my days.

Punctuation Matters: Don't Put a Period Where It Doesn't Belong. (Part 1)

 Had I known it was a landmark day, the end of a chapter per se, I probably would have reacted differently. But like most other landmarks in my career, it came smack dab in the middle of a seemly 'normal' hectic day like all others. I think this is true for most things in life that force us to either crumble or pivot. Had we known they were coming, we might try to avoid them completely. Experience has shown me that is partly why God allows them to happen. Because we all know what motivates change...a challenge. Without it, we would be content to stay put or even worse do things to avoid the pain all together. Challenges force us to move, when we don't want to. They offer us the chance to level up and bring a new you to the playing field. No challenge, no change. This is especially true as it pertains to spiritual growth and maturity in Christ.  But most importantly, they allow God to be God, right in the middle of challenging circumstances, and do what only God can do. IF... we don't try to write the story ourselves. Let me explain how I know this. 

The last baby I delivered was named Jeremiah. I don't think this was a coincidence. Jeremiah 29:11 (a very well- known scripture) tells us about God's character in the middle of a challenge. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This scripture was God speaking to the Israelites who were held captive in exile. Things looked bleak. But God told them, I know what I am doing. I'm going to restore you at just the right time. The bible tells us that faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:11) When you are in the middle of a serious storm, it can be hard to see how any good can come out of it. But God's character is not something we see; it should be something we know as we learn to trust Him in incrementally greater ways.

Corrie Ten Boom put it this way: "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer." If you aren't willing to sit still and let God lead you during serious challenges, you will never get to the desired destination which will always give you a better understanding of who God is and how much He loves you. Some people try to become the engineer. Some folks choose to jump off the train, even if the result is more pain. It takes bold faith to admit you are not in control and sit still to wait on God to write the rest of the story. That's why punctuation matters when it comes to your testimony. You have to remember who has the pen.  Faith is simple, but not always easy.

So back to the day I realized life was about to pivot. The next two weeks that followed were pretty tough. There were enormous waves of doubt, fear, and feeling overwhelmed. Think Bearing Sea waves, like we see on "Deadliest Catch." The truth is it could have easily crushed me had I not already seen how God can work through very difficult circumstances so many times before. Having heroes of faith to inspire us can also help. One of those people for me was Kaetlin Jetton. 

Kaetlin was a mother of 4 children, a beautiful soul, a colleague, a patient of mine and a friend. About two years ago, at the start of the pandemic, she was diagnosed with Leukemia; a pivot moment for sure. She is now with Jesus. Her celebration of life was exactly how I would want the punctuation mark to be at the end of my life on Earth....a Bonafide worship service! What stood out most, was how everyone described her as joyful until the very end. Even when there was no cure. Even when she felt immense pain. Immediately what struck me was that joy for a believer is clearly a choice. Her joy was a choice. "Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life."-Wess Stafford.  Why? Because happiness is both conditional and fleeting. Joy is when I choose to remember God's goodness regardless of my circumstance. I may not be able to control what happens to me in this life, but I do have the power to decide how to react to it. No one can take that from you.  That is why the bible says, "The Joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehamiah 8:10. 

Want to know the craziest realization? Kaetlin is experiencing the most joy she has ever known, and it took going through cancer to get her there. How can I say this? Because it led her straight to the arms of Jesus. And that makes it all worth it.  Now before you say, "well, of course." Listen to what the Word says. 

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. -Psalm 16:11

Kaetlin is in the presence of Jesus, where there is fullness of joy. For the believer, it doesn't get any better. But the path to get there only God can make known to us. Read that last sentence again in the light of your greatest struggle. You have to let him put the punctuation marks where they belong and resist the temptation to re-write the story. Sure, He requires our cooperation and maybe even bold decisions in faith. But this is the only way you get to see all the pleasures He has in store for you. Not just ultimately in Heaven but here on Earth.  If you short circuit the journey, by trying to take control of the train, you will miss the blessings.  You will see God's goodness and experience joy now, even in the middle of extreme hardship. The choice is mine and yours. Just wait on God. Command your soul like the Psalmist did in Psalm 27. "I believe I will look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage. Wait for the Lord!" 

  Kaetlin reminded us of all of this; her testimony is alive in probably more ways than we may ever know. 

Often when I have delivered a baby for a believer, I will speak a particular verse over them during those last transitional moments when many mothers are contemplating giving up. I tell them, "Don't short circuit your joy, it is just on the other side of the pain. And it will be so worth it."  It comes from Hebrews Chapter 12. This same verse is on the wall above my treadmill. Every morning when I physically endure a challenge, I remind my spirit of the same truth. Need a hero of faith to look to in those moments when choosing joy is hard and you want to quit? Look to Jesus.

 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." 

The path of life can have some crazy twists and turns. That is what makes each story compelling and ultimately where heroes are made. But know this, a hero in the faith isn't someone who is braver than the ordinary man. They were just braver a few minutes longer. Long enough to let God do what only He can do. (Part 2) 

Guard Your Heart: A Love Letter to the Church

My church small group has recently been studying the books of Thessalonians and Revelation; these books have a lot of prophecy about eschatology. What's that, you ask? It is what the bible has to say about what the world will be like before Jesus will return. Oh, the Bible has a lot to say about it. As we studied the scriptures, it started to become clearer that these prophecies are not so we can know specific dates or times. But rather, they are designed to prepare the church for the last days.

 So, this is my valentine love letter to the church:  As the days become darker, the church will need to shine brighter. However, this can only happen if we guard our hearts to remain pliable and soft like God's heart is for his people. This won't happen unless we, the church, are intentional to do so. First, with each other. And then with the rest of the world.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23) 

At first glance you might think this verse is telling the believer to protect our heart from outside influences or place distance or barriers against things that will hurt your heart. Instead, this passage of scripture admonishes the believer to keep the Word of God tucked deeply in your heart and your gaze fixed on that same word made flesh, Jesus. It is less about keeping things out and more about protecting what is within; there is a big difference. You can only do this if you first read, study, and meditate on the Word. 

The same passage in proverbs alludes that guarding our heart will place a gate over our lips. Probably, equally as important in today's social media driven world. Luke 6:45 tells us that, "A good man brings good things out of the good stored in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."  Proverbs 15:28 says the words of our mouth are an overflow of what's in your heart. In other words, if your feelings get hurt/ your heart gets knocked, what is inside is what is going to come pouring out.

So how do you 'guard' your heart? Protecting something makes me think of soldiers or armies. Soldiers who need to protect themselves wear body armor. So here is where I am going to suggest a new idea. The well- known scriptures in Ephesians about the armor of God are less about fighting a known enemy outside of oneself, but more about protecting what is deposited within oneself. (Read that last sentence again.)  If we want to be a church in the end times that continues to reflect the heart of God, we must remain soft, loving, and pliable as the world gets colder, harsher and darker. God did this when it came to our sin by sending His son, Jesus. As the world becomes darker, being a Christian can be exhausting. This leads to discouragement. Discouragement leads to bitterness. 

The bible even warns us that many 'Christians' will grow cold hearted because of it. Matthew 24:12, "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold." Not a few. Not many. MOST. Let that sink in. In what condition would you want Jesus to find you when He returns? Burned out, bitter and cold hearted? Or standing firm for the gospel? 

 But Jesus also tells us the way to counteract this.  Matthew 11:29, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me. For I am gentle, and lowly in heart. And you will find rest for your souls."

I like the message translation for this one. " Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

----->Right here I need to confess this is an ongoing work for me. I am an extrovert and highly sensitive. I carry emotional baggage from my childhood that makes me care a little too much for the approval of others. Even as I write this post, I am struggling with these things. And I make mistakes that I have to acknowledge, then seek the Lord's forgiveness and repent.  The enemy knows my strongholds; He knows what buttons to push. Therefore, every day, I have to place my hurts on the altar of faith and allow God's Word to do a transformative work in my own heart. Why daily?  In the book of James, we are told He doesn't desire sacrifice but instead mercy. This takes everyday type work; specifically, it requires daily preparation. And it also reminds me that I will never overcome my need for my Savior. 

So let us look at Ephesians 6 and the armor that daily we should put on before engaging with a lost world. 

1. Put on the full armor of God, so you can stand firm and defeat the enemy's schemes. To me this admonition is really saying you have to start each day taking off your fleshly nature and put on 'your new self' which is daily being renewed by the Holy Spirit. We cannot expect to successfully engage the world, defeat the schemes of the enemy and protect our own hearts, unless we fully walk in the Spirit. When we do, all the qualities of the Spirit will naturally cover us, just like the armor does for a soldier going into battle. Colossians puts it this way. "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. " 

2. Belt of truth. A belt girds you up. It helps you move without tripping over yourself. As we get closer to Christ's return, the bible tells us there will be many false teachers. You can't recognize a lie, if you don't first know the truth. In John 8:44, Jesus tells us that Satan is the father of lies.  It is imperative as the church that we know the truth of the Word of God for ourselves. Podcasts and commentaries are great, but someone else's interpretation of scripture will never supersede the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.  Read your Bible. It has everything you need. 

3.Breastplate of Righteousness in Place (in front of your heart): If you really want to guard your heart from becoming bitter, cold, and jaded you have to first really understand where your own righteousness comes from. The truth is, we have none. It is the righteousness of Christ that is imputed to us by his death on the cross, that helps us stand at all. A holier than thou attitude with other people doesn't communicate God's love for them. Rather, when you really understand that none of us are worthy of grace, it is much easier to show it to others.  

4.Shoes for Readiness of Gospel of Peace: Shoes are important for navigating rocky terrain. Life can be hard. Bad things happen even to good people. Our shoes, which protect our tender soles or souls (intentional pun), are the truth of the Gospel. The Gospel is the source of hope, even when things get tough. The bible says we have to be ready, even in tough times to demonstrate this. 1st Peter 3:15: "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 

5.Shield of Faith: this passage in Ephesians says the shield of faith is to extinguish the fiery arrows of the evil one. This is big. And I am going to suggest more so for women. Women always believe that people, especially other women, act with ulterior motives. We read into everything. And that is exactly what the enemy wants you to do. He wants you to assign motive to other people's behaviors, while simultaneously expecting them not to do the same to us. The enemy knows what will trigger you and your insecurities and he often will use other people to do it. The shield of faith extinguishes these jabs by quenching them with what God says about forgiveness, your worth, and His mercy. We choose to believe THE truth instead a fabricated truth and that makes it much easier not to take offense that wounds the heart.  

6. Helmet of Salvation: Be confident in your salvation in Christ because it gives you every necessary tool we need to operate in the Spirit; we put on the mind of Christ. :"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:3-8

7. Sword of the Spirit - And lastly church, remember the Sword of the Spirit, which is scripture, is a defensive weapon, not offensive. Don't use scripture as a weapon to hurt people. Speaking the truth when warranted in love is important. (Ephesians 4:15) But the transformative goal is to renew our own minds and hearts so that when the enemy speaks lies, we can counteract it with truth. Keeping your heart soft requires building a hedge around it with the Word. 

Guard your heart, for everything you do flows out of it. How do we do that? By staying gentle and soft hearted to cold hearted world. And how do we do that? We do that by staying very close to Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and the Word...every day. 

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. (He's coming back soon.)   Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:23

Broken Bread and Broken Relationships

 There is a popular post about a tattoo that reads, "Judas Ate Too." The sentiment behind it is that even at the last supper, Jesus fed Judas. He washed his feet. He prayed with him. He fed him. And all the while knowing that He was about to be betrayed. The funny thing is that I've observed that people will betray you emotionally before they betray you physically. Judas had already betrayed Jesus emotionally. All you have to do is look at the scriptures. Matthew 26:6 Judas chastises the woman for anointing Jesus with expensive oil "because it could have been sold and a large sum given to the poor." He didn't care about the poor or what motivated the heart of Jesus. 

He cared about himself.  

But he was also about to betray him physically. Literally right after this scene he betrays Jesus by going to the Chief Priests in exchange for thirty pieces of silver. 

The interesting thing is that we don't always know when people have broken relationship with us emotionally. There is a  gap; it is the theoretical space between where the relationship has changed, but we don't recognize it yet until we experience and realize that physical separation has occurred.  It is an odd place of tension. It is in this gap that we make assumptions and judgements; we decide other's motivations. It is here, in the gap, where the enemy always enters into the equation. (John 13:27) 

Our church is walking through the Lords prayer and right when we get to the week on forgiveness, the message came like a flood serving to wash over my heart. You see this week I felt betrayed. And the Holy Spirit challenged me on how I would let it affect my behavior, which is really an overflow from my own heart.  

As I sat in church listening to the message on forgiveness and grace, the Lord took me back to one of my first lessons in betrayal. When I was nine years old, my father filed for sole child custody to take us away from my mother. He won. It was a defining moment in my life. On the day he came to get us, I tried to hug my mother. I felt so conflicted and in pain. Overwhelmed by her own pain and needing someone to blame, she literally pushed me away. I remember that moment vividly, even to this day some 40 years later. The pain I felt in that moment was guttural; it was deep and physical. My father responded by yelling at her "I hope you rot in hell." In that same moment I remember the absolute horror I felt at his response.  Why would he wish that on her? 

Sitting in church, God gently told me I reminded you of this for two reasons. First, to say that until I fully heal this moment for you, you will always struggle to extend forgiveness to others in this area. Abandonment and betrayal are painful for me and it is rooted here. Letting God tear up the roots, and plant something new is the only way to true growth and healing in Christ. 

Secondly, this illustrates the difference between costly and cheap grace. The type of grace God extended through Christ was costly. When we don't extend to others the same type of grace that God has given to us through the forgiveness of sin,  we cheapen it. Dieterich Bonhoffer said it this way, "Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ."  Its one of the most dangerous ways we as Christians diminish the message of the Gospel. And if we really want to pray like Christ taught us to, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.", we need as a church and me, as a disciple, to understand this. When I allow my own pain to define my reaction to betrayal, I don't extend the type of grace that God extended to me. I am a sinner. I had a debt to God because of my sin that I could never pay. Have you ever had a debt you could never pay? It is crushing. "The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus." (Romans 6:23) So God sent his one and only Son to exchange my sin for His righteousness. When God did this the bible says He remembers my sin no more. Isaiah 43:25 "I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins." This doesn't mean God forgets. It means he doesn't rehearse it. Forgiveness assumes grace; it means you have to let it go. 

Why? Because people in a lost world depend upon it for their salvation. It isn't telling them how they wronged you that leads people to desiring forgiveness and reconciliation. It is grace; extending kindness when they certainly don't deserve it. " Romans 2:4 tells us it is God's kindness that leads to repentance. It is a harsh message, but by reminding me of a single instance in my childhood God told me that how I respond in the middle of rejection/abandonment or broken relationship could be the difference in someone's salvation. Literally whether they will 'rot in hell.' 

We all need daily provision to help us extend this type of grace. Maybe that's why the prayer says, "give us our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Jesus is our daily bread; the daily reminder of what has been given to us by the Cross. That my friends is the whole purpose of taking Communion. His blood and broken body for the purpose of reconciliation to God.  It is only with His help that I can even try to model this. When I looked back at the scriptures, reading them again blew my mind. It says that Jesus didn't just eat with Judas. The exact moment before he betrayed him Jesus took communion with Him; he dipped the morsel in the cup and gave it to Him. The very next moment, Satan entered him. Let that sink in. Broken bread and broken relationships intermingled and Jesus wasn't deterred by any of it. Because God's kindness leads to our repentance and that is exactly what He was sent to do. 

The Symbolism of the Skull

 It's fall which means we are entering into the last part of the year, a time typically full of activities, festivity and often celebration. The stores become replete with decoration and ornamentation that beckons us like a continuous thread leading us from one holiday to the next. You know the season has arrived when the first decorations to appear are the symbols of Halloween. 

Pumpkins, bats, and the most common imagery...

the human skull. 

I recently learned that  the image of the skull as an object of decoration predated the modern holiday by many generations. It actually stems from a Monastic tradition; the first artists to ever use skull imagery were monks. If you think of images that you have seen of monks, they are often pictured sitting at a prayer desk, with a bible, a lit candle, and there on the desk is a human skull. But this isn't a cute plastic one from Michaels or a ceramic sugar skull from Etsy. These skulls were actually one of their peers who had already passed away. Once the body was embalmed/buried, they retrieved the skull. They put it on their prayer bench not to be goth or morbid, but instead to keep their mortality literally directly in front of them. It was an extremely tangible reminder to them that eventually I will  die, and therefore I don't want to waste my life on trivial things that don't really matter. It was not designed to be disturbed or psychotic (like most seasonal imagery), but rather to encourage an individual to live each day joyfully present in the life that has been given. 

Reflection upon on this, reminded me the Bible says the same thing in Psalm 90:12:

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 

So what does that mean that we should "learn to number our days." and exactly what would that look like as we do this thing called life? First, as mentioned above in the monastic school of thought it means we would intentionally choose to address our priorities. How do I spend my time, what do I think about and how do I use my money/resources?  I don't think this means that God does not want me to enjoy my time here on Earth; not everyone is called to an austere life as a monk living in a monastery. But it does mean that we need to remember we have only have one life on Earth to live. There are no do-overs or second chances once we die.  Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us that "He has made everything beautiful in its time. (And yet) He has also set eternity in the heart of men." This scripture means that no matter how good it gets here on Earth, deep in our hearts we know that this life is not all that there is. There is a new life after this one; but it is definitely not here. Therefore the biggest priority we need to get right during this life is our relationship to God. In fact it's crucial.  As humans we will always choose to live to satisfy ourselves, and left to our own devices we will always choose wrongly. That is why we need a Savior, in Jesus Christ to help us find our way back to God. When Jesus enters the picture, our priorities change. That change occurs in our hearts; it a work from the inside out, not vice versa. It is not another means of self help; it is soul-help. With Christ at the center of your life, your priorities will start to look more like God's will for your life; that is a heart of wisdom. And only God is the source of that. 

The second part of learning to number your days means you understand the brevity of your life. The hard truth is our days are actually numbered. We hope that means living to a ripe old age, but the truth is, we don't know how long it is. Only God knows. Yet most of us don't live like that. Greg and I used to talk about our 5, 10, 15 year plan. That all changed a few years ago when God taught us that the only day to worry about is the one in front of you; life can change on a dime. Luke 12 tells the story of a rich man who said to himself, "You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry." {This is the world's answer for YOLO}.  But God said to him, "You fool, This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what your have prepared for yourself." I had hope that the pandemic would teach all of us this. But unfortunately, I've realized for some folks it did not. A heart of wisdom asks God to show me how to use what you have given me today...whether that is my health, my body, my money or my time. And by doing that, I'm actually storing up real treasure (Matthew 6:19-21) for myself. I don't worry if my daily needs will be met; God promises that if I seek relationship and to walk daily with Him, all these things will be provided. I could tell you story after story of how God has provided for me exactly when I needed it. 

Lastly, teaching us to number our days means we understand the eternal significance of your life. What we do here actually matters, not just here, but for how we will spend eternity. If you choose to live your life without God here on Earth, why would a person then logically want to spend an eternity in heaven worshiping Him? God didn't create Hell to send people there; rather it is the logical destination for a person who has chosen to do his/her life without Him. Luke 16 tells the story of the Rich man and Lazarus. Lazarus, a beggar, died and went to heaven. The Rich Man died and went to hell, but looked up and could see the beggar across a great chasm. He asks if the beggar could just reach his finger and dip it in water to provide relief from his agony. He is told no "because there is a great chasm between them," and "no one can cross over". So instead he asks to send the beggar (like a ghost) to his family so that they will hear the message of eternity and not end up in the same place. He begs, "if someone from the dead goes to them they will repent." The answer was this: "If they don't listen to Moses and the Prophets, then they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead."   The irony of this story is that someone did rise from the dead to bridge that chasm, and his name is Jesus.  This story in scripture asks the question if someone who has already died can cause us to live differently now. For me, that answer is a resounding "Yes!". It is Jesus.  Going back to the monastic traditions, they had a saying that was placed on a sign near all their catacombs. It read as follows:

"Where you are now we were, and where we are now, you will be." 

What are you going to do with that? Oh, Lord, teach us to number our days so that we can gain a heart of wisdom! There are people that I am praying will come to Christ before it is too late. And for myself,   I can't help but see the image of the skull a little differently now. As a symbol that encourages the reflection of holding my mortality before myself. And maybe, just maybe, what follows is the wisdom to ask myself the questions that allow me to live life a little more intentionally. 

Craving Christmas? You're Not Alone.

 As we inch our way closer to the end of 2020, many of us are searching for joy. This year has definitely been one for the history books. The worldwide pandemic known as COVID19 dramatically affected most of what we had planned for the entire year. Significant life events, such as graduations, weddings, funerals, even births were all affected. Virus induced isolation from loved ones has taken a tangible toll on our mental (and for some physical) health. The wearing of masks even affects our abilities to relate with perfect strangers. The result: many Americans are craving connection, but most importantly, I think they are craving hope. 

Proverbs 13:12(MSG), puts it like this, "Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around." Hope defined is the cherished desire or expectation that something good is going to happen or that life events will turn out for the best. 

So it is no surprise then as we bookend 2020, we find the majority of Americans craving Christmas.

Social media is flooded with images of people putting up their Christmas tree and decorations since the beginning of November (far earlier than years past). These are symbols for what our souls really crave which is hope. And I'm here to tell you, that you are not alone. There were others at Christmas who were craving for hope. And they knew exactly where to find it. It had been promised to them and they were given explicit directions on exactly where to find it. That sounds great, right?! A road map to hope? Let me explain. 

We need look no further than the original Christmas story. The individuals I am going to highlight are the Shepherds. Most of you know the account in Luke chapter 2.

 

"In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock at night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood near them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.  And so the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;  for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is [h]Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a [i]manger. "  

Just like us, these men were also looking for hope, but  it was not to be found in decorations. The source of their hope was 'wrapped' up in a person known in scripture as the Messiah. Messiah means "promised one", or the person who was to deliver the nation of Israel. The first thing you should also know is that these were not just any shepherds. These shepherds were in Bethlehem. This is significant for two reasons. First, it was foretold in the Bible hundreds of years prior that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem. Micah chapter 5 explicitly states, "But for you, Bethlehem Ephratah, too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you One will come forth for Me to  be ruler in Israel." Secondly, these shepherds in particular had a unique job. Bethlehem shepherds were responsible for raising the sheep that were to be sacrificed for the atonement of sins by the priests for the people at the temple in Jerusalem. Therefore, they had to be perfect, without blemish or defect. Their job was unique. Bethlehem sat on a hill and at the top of this hill was a lookout tower, called Migdal Eder. It was a place where the shepherds could get a vantage point to keep watch over their flocks. This tower also had another purpose. When it was time for young lambs to be born, the female sheep were brought into the base of the tower. The newly born infant lambs were then wrapped tightly in cloth and placed in a trough to keep them from thrashing around and potentially injuring themselves, getting stepped on or causing a defect. The strips of cloth were likely made from the priestly garments of the temple priests since these lambs ultimately served a holy purpose, the atonement of sin. 

So when the angels appeared to the shepherds and told them they would find the Christ in Bethlehem, wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger, they knew exactly where to go. Some translations actually say the wording wasn't "a manger" but instead, "the manger". The Lamb of God, who would be the one to take away all sin, would be found in the tower where all sacrificial lambs are born. He would be wrapped in priestly clothing. The source of expectant hope they were desperately craving would be found in a person, THE person of Jesus Christ. 

"Lets go straight to Bethlehem, then, and see this thing that has happened, that the Lord has made known to us."

What was true for them is still true for us. As you round out 2020, are you craving hope and joy? As we approach the end of the year, do you find that your soul is craving connection?  I want you to know, it is found in a relationship with the person named Jesus. The apostle Paul affirmed this in Timothy 1:1. "Jesus Christ, who is our hope."  God sent his one and only son, so that you __________ (insert name here) can find hope. John 3:16 puts it this way.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him."

You are craving hope because your soul is wired that way. Stop and read that sentence again.

 It is wired for eternity. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) And when your eternity is secure, your perspective will change. It will change the way you view viruses, disappointments, elections and unfulfilled plans. You will be able to find hope, even in the middle of a pandemic. God wants that kind of life for you and for me. How can we know this? Because He gave us His Word (the Bible) as the 'roadmap'; it is embodied in the person of Jesus. God always keeps his promises, and one of them is "those who diligently seek me, will find me." (Proverbs 8:17) Let's make Christmas 2020 the year where we intentionally restored our Hope.