Eat, Pray, Love

Unless you have been under a rock you have probably seen the hype concerning one of the latest movie releases, "Eat, Pray, Love." Julia Roberts lends her star power to this movie about a woman, Liz, who is discontented with life. She appears on the outside to have it all, but on the inside she is broken and empty. Her answer is to set out on a spiritual journey to find herself; she intends to take a year off, travel around the world, indulge her senses, and somehow in the process discover a more abundant life.  As an ancient proverb reminds us, "even a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." The real question to ask is...what path are you on? The path of self indulgence, that Liz chooses to take, will never meet our real needs for security, love, and purpose. "Like a city whose walls are broken down, is the man/woman who lacks self control." (Prov 25:28)
God has invited each one of us on a spiritual journey called... life. The answers to the questions we seek are not found within ourselves, but rather through relationship with Him. Ephesians 5 sums it up for us; "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us...no immoral, impure, or greedy person (such a person worships idols) will have any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light." Here is what God's spiritual Journey looks like; and, I promise you, the final destination is worth it.
1. EAT- Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Although I do humor at the 'Liz's' tag-line, "I'm having a no-carb-left-behind experience", gluttony usually produces pain and the inability to wear our skinny jeans. God says taste what I am all about, and you will never be hungry or lack again. An invitation to this King's table is more than just about food. It's about being healed from our hurts, scars and the things in life that cripple us and then being blessed with fellowship and communion. "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress, to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food." (Job 36:15-16) One of the best examples in the Bible is the story of Mephibosheth. He was crippled in both feet; lame as the result of injuries. The wounds the world had inflicted caused him not only be treated but to feel unworthy of any respect. Most of all he despised himself. He was empty on the inside; sound like our movie protagonist? When invited to sit at King David's table he asked, "What is your servant that you should notice a dead dog like me?" But for kindness sake he was allowed to eat at the King's table every day for the rest of his life, just like he was family. God does the same for you and I; when we finally get to reside in his house, where he has many rooms (John 14:2), Jesus has prepared a place for you at the greatest banquet you can imagine. Just taste...you'll see.

2. PRAY Ephesians 2:3-5 All of us..gratifying our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts...But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved.
The next step in a personal journey with God is getting to know Him. To develop any relationship, you have to spend time with a person. God says, if you seek Him, you will find him. And when you find Him what you will realize is that he wants relationship with you; he wants your heart. Relationship with God isn't about always doing the right thing or being perfect. If we as humans could achieve perfection, God wouldn't have needed to send his Son. Here is the problem with karma...there is no concept of forgiveness; your slate can never be wiped clean. And because no matter how hard you try (which in itself is exhausting) we are not perfect (holy) and can never achieve it on our own. Why? Because the measuring stick of your goodness is not your neighbor...it is God's son, Jesus. The rest of the same passage in Ephesians reads,"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast." Grace is unmerited favor from God. Once I grasped, through relationship with God (which is what prayer really is), what He did for me personally by sending his son Jesus, I couldn't  help but live the thing out. I am on planet Earth for a purpose and I am most fulfilled when living smack dab in the middle of that calling from God. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)

3. LOVE: 1st Corinth 13:2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
You can't love people if you first don't fully know the love of God. Once you fully comprehend God's grace for you, it is much easier to grace others. This is where many of us, including myself fall short. We compare God's love to the love we have received from people in our life; there is no comparison. God's love for you is measureless! (Ephesians 3) In the Bible, God is pretty darn meticulous when it comes to measurements. He loves numbers. But in regard to you, there is no limit. His love is patient, kind, not proud, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. It protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.  God's word tells us, "whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." What this word means, is that if you and I really understood the full measure of God's love for you (_your name here__) personally, your cup would be so overflowing that none of us would have to take a trip around the world to get it full. We wouldn't walk around all day with our proverbial cups out asking to be filled by others; we wouldn't need it to be filled by others. That would be worth the trip for me right there!  When your love cup is full, you can love the un-loveable. When your love cup is full, you can extend grace to people who don't deserve it. The bottom line is this...love is the ONLY feeling that God calls us to act upon. Stop here and meditate on this one for a minute. No other emotion does God ask you to take into your own hands...not anger, not jealousy, not fear, not boredom, and definitely not purposelessness. God's kind of love is an action, not a feeling. "For God so loved the world that He sent his one and only Son that whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)
Each one of us is on a spiritual journey. It begins with a single step. What path are you on? God is calling you to an abundant life in relationship with him that manifests itself in a calling that will love others into his kingdom and gain them a place at the banquet table. "You are called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love." (Galations 5:13) Go ahead, eat, pray, love.

So What Does 40 Look Like?

Today is my 40th birthday. Not quite as emotional as 30 was for some reason, but significant nonetheless. I've had several people comment when I told them this birthday I was turning the big 4-0, "You definitely don't look like you're 40." Which caused me to start thinking, "What does 40 look like?" Now don't get me wrong! I thoroughly enjoy being told that I still have a youthful appearance. This is especially in light of the fact that all my beauty efforts are now designed towards maintenance rather than necessarily achieving. Reflecting on this past year makes those efforts seem kind of comical. Why? Because I asked myself, "Instead of taking a worldly view, let's ask 'What does 40 look like to God?'. This past year has shown me emphatically that God is not concerned at all with maintenance. "See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19
1. What about 40?
Our God is very concerned with numbers. They have great significance to him and therefore He is very deliberate in his use of them. Forty is generally considered the number that signifies a time of trial, testing, and preparation that is followed by restoration and blessing. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years as a consequence of their own disbelief in God. "Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." (Deut 8:1-3)
This year I learned through Beth Moore's 'So Long Insecurity' that my insecurities are really a lack of faith. Through God's help I have been able to let go of some life long ones. I'm testifying to the Grace of God that I can honestly say that things that hurt my heart and therefore caused me to act foolish for 40 years no longer have that affect on me. That is huge. Why this took 40 years is the mystery of God's omniscience. Several years ago I asked God to give me a 'verse' each January for the next year of my life; I make a scrapbook page in January with a picture of myself for that year. This year my verse was Revelation 3:7-8. "I am the one who is holy and true. I hold the keys that belonged to David. When I open a door, no one can close it. And when I close a door, no one can open it. Listen to what I say. I know everything you have done and I have placed before you an open door that no one can close."  My vow for 2010 was: "Expect God to do something unprecedented in 2010: He will open doors in my life and I will be obedient to walk through them and put my feet on the land given to me." And then I added Isaiah 43:18-19 (Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?)  I had no idea back in January what God was getting ready to do! We were getting ready to walk out of my wilderness; my struggles in the early part of 2010 were "making a way in the desert and streams in my wasteland." I needed all of this to be ready for what God has planned next in my life.
2. Wisdom over knowledge.
When I was younger proving how smart I was to everyone around me was vital. Vital to what you ask? My self worth. My accolades were like trophies in the thought closet of my heart. Graduated high school at 16. Started medical school at 19 yo and youngest in her entire class. Graduated medical school at 22 yo with honors. Top of her residency class. Chairman of Junior Fellows for Air Force section of ACOG. Flight commander for Eglin Ob/Gyn. I valued both my appearance and intelligence and often used the latter as a weapon. My son Ben recently told me an American Indian proverb. "Gain wisdom not knowledge, for knowledge is of the past, but wisdom is of the future." The bible states it like this, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. All who follow his precepts have good understanding." (Prov 111:10) I had no idea when I was younger that what I valued actually made me a fool and kept me stuck in my past. "We know that all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." (1st Corin 8:1) To God, love is everything. It's so amazing to me how he has completely turned around  what I value; seeking more knowledge of him is everything to me. Knowledge that is never meant to be used as a weapon or to puff up. "If I have the gift of prophecy, and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." So today I welcome anything that strips away my former love of self knowledge, even if my pride suffers a little dent. In this past year, my 'knowledge' has been devalued more than I have ever experienced in my whole life. However, God has made it abundantly clear it is necessary for what the next ten years will hold. I trust him.  It may have taken 40 years of wandering, but God is not about maintaining the old. We're getting ready to do a new thing. Looking at my reflection (Proverbs 27:19),I see renewal not maintenance and I'm liking how 40 looks to God.

Don't Attract Trouble With Your Voice

I heard a really interesting message on controlling what we say as believers. There is power in the spoken word. So as believers we have to be keen to not only listening for the voice of our Shepherd among the many voices out there but also the sound of our own. Jesus told us in John 10 that He is our Shepherd and we are like sheep; we hear his voice and follow him. We are told that there will be false prophets...other voices in our lives, that are thieves and robbers. They will have all kinds of things to say about you, to you, and if you let them in...in you. They will shout you're not good enough, holy enough, changed enough... you fill in the blank, to ever be useful or treasured by God.  Whatever it is that has injured your heart in the past, they will echo it.  They seek only to steal, kill, and destroy. Steal what? Your joy. The crazy thing is that the very sounds of your voice can attract that kind of trouble. Matthew 7 tells us these false voices "come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves." They attack the flock and scatter it. (John 10:12).
We don't have lots of wolves around these parts. We do have lots of coyotes though. Coyotes can be just as dangerous as wolves; I saw one in our neighborhood once chasing a fox. The fox got away...interestingly Jesus told us "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as inoffensive as a dove." (Matt 10:16) Don't give the coyotes a reason to look your direction! I just learned about this one.  Foxes are known to be pretty cunning creatures; after the fox got away, that neighborhood coyote stood and stared directly at me. Fortunately I was with Greg, who encouraged me to keep walking briskly.
Coyote, as do most similar creatures, hunt in packs. A victim is chosen and the group works together to expose and prey on a perceived weakness. I have found this approach to be true of most of the 'voices' who will seek to steal your joy; it won't come from a lone attacker. Have you noticed how quickly a pack mentality forms around negative voices? How can you recognize the wolves? "By their fruit you will recognize them." Matt 7:16. They will lack love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self control.
If you want to hunt coyotes, guess what type of animal call you would use? The sound of an injured rabbit. Yep, that's right. An injured animal making sounds of distress attracts it predators. So let's draw an analogy between us as sheep and the wolves seeking to destroy us.
When something happens that injures our pride or our hearts, we have a choice regarding the words we choose to speak about it. I'm not suggesting not being able to verbalize your hurts; rather it is how we speak about them OUT LOUD  that makes all the difference. To God, cry out all your hurts. But to each other, we should offer voices of faith. When we don't, we are not a unified voice as believers and we allow the enemy into our flock. Doubt, dissension, gossip, bitterness...they focus on our injury and they attract wolves who will attack us and keep us separated. As believers we should speak about what God is going to do in our situation; a voice of Faith. We have to declare out loud what God's truth/his word speaks over our current situation. This was a good reminder for me. Don't underestimate the spoken word. God's words are sharper than any double edged sword...(Hebrews 4:12)...pretty good for scaring off coyotes.

Sonflowers

A small black seed placed in fertile soil

That is how be both began

Toiled and worked, but never forgotten

By the Grace of a heavenly hand

Slowly the crust of this dirt is broken

By a small and tender shoot

The Master Gardener fully at work

    Pulling weeds and thorns

  As we both grow under earthly foot.

 Aim for the Son

As you lift your up your face

Knowing you are only growing

By its provision and God's Grace

Those who drink daily of life-giving water

Are awash and renewed in their Spirit

They are the ones who will grow tall

Reaching high to the Son, as the ones who strive to be nearest

Oh Sunflower, my Sonflower

Your summer song is our life here before Heaven

By your growth I can glimpse a small part

I deduce as I survey your family lovingly around mine

That's why you bring such joy to my heart.

Wedding Plans

June is the month for weddings. I started thinking about this for several reasons. Many of my patients are involved in service industries that cater to destination weddings and this is generally one of the busiest times of year for them; thus, the oil spill disaster has the potential to take a toll on a number of local folks. It has the potential to stain or pollute preparations for many local beach weddings and severely impact overall. The second motivator for my train of thought was a comment made by my best friend as we reflected on sin, specifically sexual sin, and its pollution of today's world. She said, " Well we know from our studies, that God is using this time in purifying his bride."
June is the month for weddings. And did you know girls, as the Bride of Christ (which is the church of believers), we are supposed to be making preparations for our wedding?  It occurred to me that some of the struggles I am facing are part of God's purification process, but the preparations here on Earth are my responsibility.  Here are some of the ways God is speaking to me about making sure his Bride is ready when the day of his return arrives.

1.The first step is to know that you are supposed to making preparations.
I remember my wedding planning. I was very deliberate about it; I had a binder with all my contacts, clippings, and receipts. I gave attention to every detail. We were engaged for over a year and I remember that I grew weary of planning and at times wished we had just eloped.  In Matthew 25 Jesus gives us the parable of the ten virgins. The ten took their lamps and went out to meet their bridegroom; he was a long time in coming and they all grew tired of waiting and fell asleep. Five were foolish and the other five were wise. Only 5 of them took oil in jars with them. The lamps signify the fact that once you are saved in Christ, you are like a lamp. (Matt 5:15, Luke11:33, Rev 11:4). You are meant to be a light to shine in a dark world and your righteousness signifies this light. Are you a light? Do you stand out from those around you? Are you assured of your salvation...do you know one day you will meet your bridegroom? The oil signifies the Holy Spirit. Each day we are called to empty ourselves and be filled with the Spirit. This is a life long process of seeking God daily; you won't be able to do it at the last minute.  The Holy Spirit needs to be your constant companion.  Isaiah 61:10 "I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." By seeking righteousness daily in your every day actions you will stand out in this world, like a bride adorned in shiny jewels. This kind of bling will get noticed!  God is looking for people who are the real deal; they are the same everywhere they go and in every situation. God works to eliminate insincerity and hypocrisy in your character; like a refiner heats up metal and skims off the impurities. Your job is cooperate. I bear the marks to prove it. But because this refinement in character takes time, you have to be ready. "But while they (the fools) were on their way to buy oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut....Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour."

2. Be passionate for your groom.
The day you get married is a day full of emotion for brides. Love breeds the willingness to commit to a life long journey together. My commitment to Jesus isn't about religion; it is a love relationship. I love him because He does for me what I could never do for myself. You aren't supposed to be lukewarm about your groom on your wedding day; if you are, the wedding may never occur or the marriage may never reach its intended potential. The same is true as we prepare for our spiritual wedding. The Bride of Christ should be passionate about her groom; God does not want luke-warm believers who are always straddling the fence between living out the life Christ has planned and the one the world offers. We should not have to water down God's word or remove Christ from the center of a message to entice people to believe.  God's word tells us in Revelation that churches who " are neither hot nor cold, who are lukewarm" in their deeds for Christ, are not palatable to God and "they will be spit out." People around you should be able to tell you have a passionate love relationship with Christ. How? Because your love has spurned you to commit your daily living to him even during the times you may not feel it. You do the right thing and know that the feelings will follow.

3. Be aware of the ways our enemy seeks to stain or tarnish the Bride of Christ.
 I believe that once you accept Christ as your Savior in your heart and confess it with your mouth wholeheartedly you are saved and sealed for the day of Redemption. The enemy therefore cannot take away your salvation. However, he can make you try and doubt it. If you doubt it, then you probably won't behave like you are saved. This is really what he is after. I believe he has and will do everything in his power to stain the Bride of Christ and tarnish her before her union with the Lamb. What better way to do this than with sexual sin? I have seen more infidelity and heard of more sexual immorality in the last several years than ever in my career. I'm not talking about non-believers here...I'm talking about church going, long time confessing believers. Why does the devil use sex? Because unlike other sin...it sticks. It will change you, it will tarnish you no matter what you want to believe at the time.  Kinda like oily, sludgy, tarballs. 1st Corinth 6:17-18 MSG "Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue  the kind of sex that avoids commitment and  intimacy; the kind of sex that never can "become one"... There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own body."  What a challenge in this world to raise sexually pure children! Sometimes it feels impossible. For man it is..but with God's help and obedience to his will to refine his Bride, it is possible. I need to believe this as I try to raise two young men in this culture.
Greg and I just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. I was such a naive bride. However, I knew I loved Greg with all my heart and that it was God's plan for me to spend my life with him. I praise Him daily that He knew what has best for me and has used that union over time to make me more like Christ. A fore-taste of what God has planned for me!

A Friend to Run Along Side Me

Today was the Boggy Bayou Race in Valparaiso. It was very hot considering that our temperatures have been pretty mild and with the long cold winter we endured. I haven't run a race in 80 degree temps this year, but this morning was the first one for the season. My friend Michelle sent me a text the day before wishing me "God Speed". I don't get to see Michelle as much as I like because of our busy schedules and it had been quite some time since we had spoken. However her text really blessed my heart because it reminded me that she remembers the things that are important to me. When we go on long runs together, we often spend the time talking about all the things God is doing in our lives. We are human beings at times sharing the same path or race course as the case may be. But what blesses me most about Michelle is that she always treats me like a human being..not a human doing. She knows that God doesn't care about your career, He cares about your character. He doesn't care as much about what you are doing at any given time or place, but more about who you are becoming. Sometimes I feel like a lot of the people I know define me solely by my career. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that being a doctor is a calling not just a job. The hours are not forgiving and often affect all other areas of my life. My family, my friendships, my church life, and my interests have all had to take second place at one time or another because of my career. But I have felt that I don't get included, invited or "remembered" at times because of it; this is a challenge in regard to the work God has done on my insecurities.  Can God's calling on your life cause you to feel excluded, isolated, or lonely? Yep.  In reality this is just one part of who I am so I praise God daily for the very few ladies I call best friends who understand this.

So back to Michelle. She remembered.  She came and ran with me, and when the heat was unforgiving she jogged in place so we could cross the finish line together. That is the kind of woman I am privileged to call friend.

300,000 Women Said So Long Insecurity and I was ONE of them

Today was the culmination of a journey I've been taking with God the last few months. Today was the live simulcast for "So Long Insecurity."  I read the book by Beth Moore entitled, "So Long Insecurity"...you've been a bad friend to us. It was life changing. Studying what the scripture says about my security in Christ along with wrestling the thing out with my best friend and accountability partner has proved monumental in my faith walk. I didn't even know how much I was a slave to it until God made it evident...then I saw it everywhere I went. Once God has shown you the grace to set you free from bondage, you suddenly have mercy for those around you who act the same way. This wasn't just another bible study with a pithy message...it was transforming. I am not the same person I was before, I am a new creation in Christ...the old is gone, the new has come. (2nd Corinth 5:17). I was a greeter at today's event. While standing at the door welcoming the over 900 women in our town (out of 300,000 nationwide) who attended, I was overwhelmed. When I thought about how God had worked in my own life and what he could do for all the women attending nationwide worshiping Him together, I got choked up. Then I thought, "Get it together girl!, you can't be a greeter standing in the doorway and crying." But I know today blessed God's heart and it definitely blessed mine.
TODAY this new woman plans to be SECURE; it is the only way to fulfill my calling. Now Beth always tells us that the battlefield is the mind and to be secure will only happen with intention. So daily I have to take off the old, and put on the new. This will help me to act secure even when I don't feel like it; then the actions will produce feelings. It is not the other way around. If you wait to act secure until you feel it first...you never will be. We don't live in a world like that. Besides you have an enemy who does not want you to walk in the truth of your foundation in Christ. Today we learned that a SECURE woman is 6 things:

1. S : She is saved from herself. Not by herself, nor for herself, but saved from herself. Trust me when I tell you I have been my own worst enemy on numerous occasions and girl have I acted the fool. I needed a Savior to save me from myself...that pretty much sums up why I turned my life over to Christ. It wasn't working so well when I was running the show.
2 E: Entitled to Truth. We learned the farther you live away from Christ the more deceptive your thinking becomes and this hardens your heart. In a world that grows darker and brings more and more deception I need to stay connected to the truth; this is God's word. I need to know it....by heart.
3. C Clothed With Intention  As a woman, you don't get dressed by accident and you certainly won't be secure by accident. You have to "clothe yourself with dignity and strength"; insecurity wants to take your dignity. I am determined not to let that happen...anymore.
4. U  Upended by Grace  Beth taught us that if we really were convinced that we were forgiven...and believed it..we would not withhold grace from others. Most of our un-forgiveness and what we view as offenses root from our insecurities. If you want to be secure, you have to practice forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32..we have to grace others just like Christ graced us.
5. R Rebounded by Love. I can never really be a secure woman until I fully accept that I am completely and unfailingly loved by God. Everyone has the need to know there is someone who will unfailingly love them and will not leave them. Beth told us that insecurity is not a weakness....it is unbelief. I realized this is the one area I am still struggling. I know God loves me, but I'm pretty sure I don't know it with the confidence I need to. If I did, I wouldn't be needing others to love me to meet my needs of security or depend on others to make me feel good about myself. Lord, I do believe you love me,  help with me with my unbelief.(Mark 9:23-24) When it comes to God, it always comes back to love.
6. E Exceptional in Life. We all have a need for significance...to matter. God has shown me during this last week through a wonderful illustration that you will never matter more or be more exceptional than when you are fully executing your spiritual gift. A secure woman in this culture stands out...she is exceptional. I want that. "As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." Manifold in the original language means multicolored. When God gives you your spiritual gift it is like he clothes you with a multicolored coat that shows the world you are his "most loved and highly favored child." This is exactly like what Jacob did for Joseph. God showed me this week that when I am 'wearing' my gift, I am really being 'clothed in the strength and dignity' that the world and my own insecurities would choose to rob me of. My worth comes from God's manifold grace flowing through me, not from anything or anyone else. This so touched my heart.
If you haven't read this book, I cannot recommend it any more highly. What a journey. What a day. Lord you are such a wild ride.