Sonflowers

A small black seed placed in fertile soil

That is how be both began

Toiled and worked, but never forgotten

By the Grace of a heavenly hand

Slowly the crust of this dirt is broken

By a small and tender shoot

The Master Gardener fully at work

    Pulling weeds and thorns

  As we both grow under earthly foot.

 Aim for the Son

As you lift your up your face

Knowing you are only growing

By its provision and God's Grace

Those who drink daily of life-giving water

Are awash and renewed in their Spirit

They are the ones who will grow tall

Reaching high to the Son, as the ones who strive to be nearest

Oh Sunflower, my Sonflower

Your summer song is our life here before Heaven

By your growth I can glimpse a small part

I deduce as I survey your family lovingly around mine

That's why you bring such joy to my heart.

Wedding Plans

June is the month for weddings. I started thinking about this for several reasons. Many of my patients are involved in service industries that cater to destination weddings and this is generally one of the busiest times of year for them; thus, the oil spill disaster has the potential to take a toll on a number of local folks. It has the potential to stain or pollute preparations for many local beach weddings and severely impact overall. The second motivator for my train of thought was a comment made by my best friend as we reflected on sin, specifically sexual sin, and its pollution of today's world. She said, " Well we know from our studies, that God is using this time in purifying his bride."
June is the month for weddings. And did you know girls, as the Bride of Christ (which is the church of believers), we are supposed to be making preparations for our wedding?  It occurred to me that some of the struggles I am facing are part of God's purification process, but the preparations here on Earth are my responsibility.  Here are some of the ways God is speaking to me about making sure his Bride is ready when the day of his return arrives.

1.The first step is to know that you are supposed to making preparations.
I remember my wedding planning. I was very deliberate about it; I had a binder with all my contacts, clippings, and receipts. I gave attention to every detail. We were engaged for over a year and I remember that I grew weary of planning and at times wished we had just eloped.  In Matthew 25 Jesus gives us the parable of the ten virgins. The ten took their lamps and went out to meet their bridegroom; he was a long time in coming and they all grew tired of waiting and fell asleep. Five were foolish and the other five were wise. Only 5 of them took oil in jars with them. The lamps signify the fact that once you are saved in Christ, you are like a lamp. (Matt 5:15, Luke11:33, Rev 11:4). You are meant to be a light to shine in a dark world and your righteousness signifies this light. Are you a light? Do you stand out from those around you? Are you assured of your salvation...do you know one day you will meet your bridegroom? The oil signifies the Holy Spirit. Each day we are called to empty ourselves and be filled with the Spirit. This is a life long process of seeking God daily; you won't be able to do it at the last minute.  The Holy Spirit needs to be your constant companion.  Isaiah 61:10 "I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." By seeking righteousness daily in your every day actions you will stand out in this world, like a bride adorned in shiny jewels. This kind of bling will get noticed!  God is looking for people who are the real deal; they are the same everywhere they go and in every situation. God works to eliminate insincerity and hypocrisy in your character; like a refiner heats up metal and skims off the impurities. Your job is cooperate. I bear the marks to prove it. But because this refinement in character takes time, you have to be ready. "But while they (the fools) were on their way to buy oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut....Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour."

2. Be passionate for your groom.
The day you get married is a day full of emotion for brides. Love breeds the willingness to commit to a life long journey together. My commitment to Jesus isn't about religion; it is a love relationship. I love him because He does for me what I could never do for myself. You aren't supposed to be lukewarm about your groom on your wedding day; if you are, the wedding may never occur or the marriage may never reach its intended potential. The same is true as we prepare for our spiritual wedding. The Bride of Christ should be passionate about her groom; God does not want luke-warm believers who are always straddling the fence between living out the life Christ has planned and the one the world offers. We should not have to water down God's word or remove Christ from the center of a message to entice people to believe.  God's word tells us in Revelation that churches who " are neither hot nor cold, who are lukewarm" in their deeds for Christ, are not palatable to God and "they will be spit out." People around you should be able to tell you have a passionate love relationship with Christ. How? Because your love has spurned you to commit your daily living to him even during the times you may not feel it. You do the right thing and know that the feelings will follow.

3. Be aware of the ways our enemy seeks to stain or tarnish the Bride of Christ.
 I believe that once you accept Christ as your Savior in your heart and confess it with your mouth wholeheartedly you are saved and sealed for the day of Redemption. The enemy therefore cannot take away your salvation. However, he can make you try and doubt it. If you doubt it, then you probably won't behave like you are saved. This is really what he is after. I believe he has and will do everything in his power to stain the Bride of Christ and tarnish her before her union with the Lamb. What better way to do this than with sexual sin? I have seen more infidelity and heard of more sexual immorality in the last several years than ever in my career. I'm not talking about non-believers here...I'm talking about church going, long time confessing believers. Why does the devil use sex? Because unlike other sin...it sticks. It will change you, it will tarnish you no matter what you want to believe at the time.  Kinda like oily, sludgy, tarballs. 1st Corinth 6:17-18 MSG "Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue  the kind of sex that avoids commitment and  intimacy; the kind of sex that never can "become one"... There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own body."  What a challenge in this world to raise sexually pure children! Sometimes it feels impossible. For man it is..but with God's help and obedience to his will to refine his Bride, it is possible. I need to believe this as I try to raise two young men in this culture.
Greg and I just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. I was such a naive bride. However, I knew I loved Greg with all my heart and that it was God's plan for me to spend my life with him. I praise Him daily that He knew what has best for me and has used that union over time to make me more like Christ. A fore-taste of what God has planned for me!

A Friend to Run Along Side Me

Today was the Boggy Bayou Race in Valparaiso. It was very hot considering that our temperatures have been pretty mild and with the long cold winter we endured. I haven't run a race in 80 degree temps this year, but this morning was the first one for the season. My friend Michelle sent me a text the day before wishing me "God Speed". I don't get to see Michelle as much as I like because of our busy schedules and it had been quite some time since we had spoken. However her text really blessed my heart because it reminded me that she remembers the things that are important to me. When we go on long runs together, we often spend the time talking about all the things God is doing in our lives. We are human beings at times sharing the same path or race course as the case may be. But what blesses me most about Michelle is that she always treats me like a human being..not a human doing. She knows that God doesn't care about your career, He cares about your character. He doesn't care as much about what you are doing at any given time or place, but more about who you are becoming. Sometimes I feel like a lot of the people I know define me solely by my career. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that being a doctor is a calling not just a job. The hours are not forgiving and often affect all other areas of my life. My family, my friendships, my church life, and my interests have all had to take second place at one time or another because of my career. But I have felt that I don't get included, invited or "remembered" at times because of it; this is a challenge in regard to the work God has done on my insecurities.  Can God's calling on your life cause you to feel excluded, isolated, or lonely? Yep.  In reality this is just one part of who I am so I praise God daily for the very few ladies I call best friends who understand this.

So back to Michelle. She remembered.  She came and ran with me, and when the heat was unforgiving she jogged in place so we could cross the finish line together. That is the kind of woman I am privileged to call friend.

300,000 Women Said So Long Insecurity and I was ONE of them

Today was the culmination of a journey I've been taking with God the last few months. Today was the live simulcast for "So Long Insecurity."  I read the book by Beth Moore entitled, "So Long Insecurity"...you've been a bad friend to us. It was life changing. Studying what the scripture says about my security in Christ along with wrestling the thing out with my best friend and accountability partner has proved monumental in my faith walk. I didn't even know how much I was a slave to it until God made it evident...then I saw it everywhere I went. Once God has shown you the grace to set you free from bondage, you suddenly have mercy for those around you who act the same way. This wasn't just another bible study with a pithy message...it was transforming. I am not the same person I was before, I am a new creation in Christ...the old is gone, the new has come. (2nd Corinth 5:17). I was a greeter at today's event. While standing at the door welcoming the over 900 women in our town (out of 300,000 nationwide) who attended, I was overwhelmed. When I thought about how God had worked in my own life and what he could do for all the women attending nationwide worshiping Him together, I got choked up. Then I thought, "Get it together girl!, you can't be a greeter standing in the doorway and crying." But I know today blessed God's heart and it definitely blessed mine.
TODAY this new woman plans to be SECURE; it is the only way to fulfill my calling. Now Beth always tells us that the battlefield is the mind and to be secure will only happen with intention. So daily I have to take off the old, and put on the new. This will help me to act secure even when I don't feel like it; then the actions will produce feelings. It is not the other way around. If you wait to act secure until you feel it first...you never will be. We don't live in a world like that. Besides you have an enemy who does not want you to walk in the truth of your foundation in Christ. Today we learned that a SECURE woman is 6 things:

1. S : She is saved from herself. Not by herself, nor for herself, but saved from herself. Trust me when I tell you I have been my own worst enemy on numerous occasions and girl have I acted the fool. I needed a Savior to save me from myself...that pretty much sums up why I turned my life over to Christ. It wasn't working so well when I was running the show.
2 E: Entitled to Truth. We learned the farther you live away from Christ the more deceptive your thinking becomes and this hardens your heart. In a world that grows darker and brings more and more deception I need to stay connected to the truth; this is God's word. I need to know it....by heart.
3. C Clothed With Intention  As a woman, you don't get dressed by accident and you certainly won't be secure by accident. You have to "clothe yourself with dignity and strength"; insecurity wants to take your dignity. I am determined not to let that happen...anymore.
4. U  Upended by Grace  Beth taught us that if we really were convinced that we were forgiven...and believed it..we would not withhold grace from others. Most of our un-forgiveness and what we view as offenses root from our insecurities. If you want to be secure, you have to practice forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32..we have to grace others just like Christ graced us.
5. R Rebounded by Love. I can never really be a secure woman until I fully accept that I am completely and unfailingly loved by God. Everyone has the need to know there is someone who will unfailingly love them and will not leave them. Beth told us that insecurity is not a weakness....it is unbelief. I realized this is the one area I am still struggling. I know God loves me, but I'm pretty sure I don't know it with the confidence I need to. If I did, I wouldn't be needing others to love me to meet my needs of security or depend on others to make me feel good about myself. Lord, I do believe you love me,  help with me with my unbelief.(Mark 9:23-24) When it comes to God, it always comes back to love.
6. E Exceptional in Life. We all have a need for significance...to matter. God has shown me during this last week through a wonderful illustration that you will never matter more or be more exceptional than when you are fully executing your spiritual gift. A secure woman in this culture stands out...she is exceptional. I want that. "As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." Manifold in the original language means multicolored. When God gives you your spiritual gift it is like he clothes you with a multicolored coat that shows the world you are his "most loved and highly favored child." This is exactly like what Jacob did for Joseph. God showed me this week that when I am 'wearing' my gift, I am really being 'clothed in the strength and dignity' that the world and my own insecurities would choose to rob me of. My worth comes from God's manifold grace flowing through me, not from anything or anyone else. This so touched my heart.
If you haven't read this book, I cannot recommend it any more highly. What a journey. What a day. Lord you are such a wild ride.

Resurrection Run Weekend

Last weekend was a wonderful Spring weekend. The weather was great and everyone I saw in the office on Monday had a pink skinned glow to them.
Last weekend was the Resurrection Run at Village Baptist. I ran the 10K..a little slow for me I shamefully admit. Here are my list of excuses...1. A headwind..the run is a long the beach and you have to fight the wind every time. 2. My body was tired from working fairly hard. 3. Mentally I have been challenged by events at work. Running is both mental and physical and I'm working so hard on some challenges in the battlefield of the mind that my enemy keeps testing me there. Ok, I'm done with lame excuses. This photo was after I finished the race.

On Sunday we went to Bellingrath Gardens in Mobile to take family photos w/ the Azaleas in bloom and we ate at Lamberts Cafe..."Home of the Throwed Roll." Ok, eating there did not help my cause of improving my running time, but oh it was so good. After our feast, I have vowed to give up bread for a while, so maybe this will help improve the pace. But as for the pace of the rest of my life, I'm still feasting daily on the Bread of Life, Jesus. I consider it carbo loading for the daily grind. 

Standing in the Door of the Tomb

As we approach Easter and everything that it symbolizes to Christians, God has consistently had me wrapping my mind around its interesting dichotomy. You see, there really are two parts to Easter that we remember each year. The first and probably most obvious, even to non-Christians, is that Christ died for us on the Cross. In the old testament God taught his people the concept that to atone for sin there had to be a sacrifice with the shedding of blood on the altar to God. This physical concept laid the foundation for what he would want us to accomplish in our hearts after the new Covenant. After Jesus came, we no longer have to kill sheep, birds, or rams in order to be forgiven by God. He was the only sacrifice that could take away all the sins of the world. He died for you and for me, even before we chose to accept his gift.  "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this; while we were still sinners Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) When an individual really comprehends this and the fact there is nothing we can do on our own to be saved, most turn their life over to Christ. Even though we don't have to make sacrifices anymore, God does require us to participate in his death. Col 3:3 (For you died, and now your life is hidden in Christ); Rom 12:1 (Therefore I urge you brothers in view of God's mercy to present yourself as living sacrifices,holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship). This means that everyday we die to self. The problem with living sacrifices is that they try to climb off the altar. It takes daily submission of our will to God's will for your life.  This is the point in which I think most Christians get stuck. I'll call them and myself, "Zombie Christians". We walk around life as the living dead. The world looks at us as we say, "See, I'm dying to self...I'm denying myself and taking up my cross for Christ." To a non-Christian who hasn't comprehended what Christ's sacrifice was all about, this is not very attractive.
God does not want us stuck in the door of the tomb. If all we needed for life was for Christ to die, God would have left it that way. But he didn't; the tomb is empty because Christ was resurrected...he is alive and this is the way God wants us to live. He has made available to us the same power that brought Christ back from the grave. As soon as you or I accept Christ, we have that power available to us. You know what? I WANT IT! " I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead." Phillipians 3:9-11. I'm not simply talking about eternal life and living with Christ forever. I already have that. I'm talking about fears, insecurities, and daily life struggles.  I don't just want to daily put those things on God's altar as they continue to cause me pain; I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I'm wanting God to make them non-issues for me. This only happens if I am willing to step out of the tomb. I am wanting the next time I experience rejection or the feelings of insignificance, they don't even affect me like they once did. Why? Because I live with resurrection confidence. If my God is for me, then who can be against me? The enemy thought he had won when God's son was killed; he didn't know the second half of the story. Imagine what life could be like if we all fully comprehended the power of the resurrection and actually lived that way.

No Matter How Long the Winter, Spring is Sure to Follow

fairy house------- Fairy garden in my yard------Tink's corner----- Tink's house (handmade)

I'm so glad Spring has finally arrived. It has been a very long and cold winter. But with the warmer temperatures, has come a new phase in my walk with God. We've been working on some pretty heavy topics like fears, insecurities, and dignity. I'm so excited to take off the heavy cloak of insecurity and step out into the what the Son has waiting for me...bring on the rebirth of Spring.

" I would love Spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would greet it in a garden." -Ruth Stout

I recently went to Walt Disney World (one of my favorite places to visit) and it was the Flower and Garden Festival at Epcot. They had a Fairy Garden there that was beautiful. The picture taken of me is in the garden with a topiary fairy behind me. I decided to re-create a fairy garden in my own back yard. Why? Because it makes me happy. Reason enough. Here is our version that was completed this weekend. We have flowers including lavender, posies, and begonias. We have herbs including rosemary, sage, and mint. There is a Tinkerbell bird bath, gazing ball and hummingbird feeder. We made two fairy houses for our garden; the teapot is a replica of her house we saw at Disney...pretty darn cute if I do say so myself!
It was fun to welcome Spring with my new garden. Besides, one can never have too much faith, trust, and....well you know the rest.