Advent: Expectant Waiting

My family recently travelled to the island of Maui in Hawaii. We planned an activity popular on the island, watching the sunrise on Haleakala. Haleakala is a dormant volcanic crater and its highest elevation at the summit is over 10,000 ft. To watch the sunrise you have to be prepared to arrive at least two hours before dawn to secure a spot along the railing lining the crater. For us, that meant leaving our hotel at 2:45am in the morning. We traveled up the mountain on treacherously curvy narrow roads and reached the vantage point. There, along with several hundred others, we anxiously waited in the darkness and cold for the sun to rise. And when I say it is cold, I am talking about 30 degrees and windy; it was freezing.
But there in between the shivering to keep warm, God reminded me of a scripture from Psalm 130.

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits. And in his word I put my hope.

I wait for the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning."

Have you ever been in a dark place in your life where you were desperate for the God of the universe "to show up", to intervene on your behalf? You desire not only for his presence. You need his presence to see the way out.
That is called expectant waiting. Another word for this is advent.

We often hear that word as it pertains to our current season leading up to Christmas. It is a time of 'expectant waiting' in preparation for the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The word literally means, "the arrival of a notable person, thing or event." Waiting for the sun to rise that morning and the precise moment that it would break through the clouds, was in a sense, an literal advent. That is what we were all there to see. And our discomfort, in the darkness, only made us that much more eager.
But the Lord spoke to me a few other truths after I waited in the dark. First, you have to be willing to wait there. Sunrise happens at a precise time every morning. And although faithful and predictable, you cannot rush it. God's timing in our lives is just like the sunrise (Hosea 6:3). It is faithful and always on time, but you have to endure to see it. Had I decided it was too cold or too uncomfortable to wait, and decided to go back to the car, I would have missed the glory of the moment. Sure the sun still would have come up, but the moment and the opportunity, would have passed me by.  The same is true for our season's of difficulty. If you look for an easy way out, you will miss the glory of when God shows up in your circumstances. Those unique moments are critical to your faith. Those moments are the bridge between head knowledge of God and heart knowledge of Him.  Why is this so? Because you can't know him as faithful, until you require faith. You can't know him as provider, until you have experienced lack. You can't know him as healer, until you have battled sickness. And you can't know him as comforter, until you have felt heartache. When we lean on Him during these moments, and more specifically his promises in scripture, and then wait for Him to illuminate our understanding, He also enlightens our hearts to know Him more. When we believe his promises, despite our circumstances, it is credited to us as righteousness. (Romans 4:5, James 2:23)

God's word promises that when you endure, He will breakthrough. So if you find yourself this Christmas in a season of literal advent, hang on to God and his promises. He will appear. And just like the sunrise that morning among the clouds, it will be glorious.

Haleakala Sunrise November 2018

" Then your light will break through like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear. Then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and He will say: Here am I. " -Isaiah 58

When Disaster Passes Over: Hurricane Michael

I live in a small town on the Emerald Coast of Florida called Santa Rosa Beach near Destin, FL. We are called the Emerald Coast because of our pristinely white beaches which give the waters a beautiful emerald hue on most days. I live where other people vacation and I consider myself pretty lucky. Even on my 'worst days', I remind myself of this fact. 

There is another beach community just 50 miles to the east of where I live called Mexico Beach; there the coastline is known as "the Forgotten Coast", because it embodies old Florida living. It is mostly rural, slow paced and less touristy in nature. But just five days ago, this area received more attention, than it probably ever has in recent history. And hopefully not soon to be forgotten.

On October 10th, 2018 Hurricane Michael struck the Florida panhandle. A near category 5 storm, with its eyewall passing over Panama City and causing massive storm surge into Mexico City Beach, the hurricane has resulted in widespread devastation. 

The pictures literally look like something apocalyptic in nature. Entire neighborhoods and communities have been wiped out, with the landscape forever changed.

Most of the people I know in the Destin area made preparations for the storm not knowing how severely our area might be affected. Many folks evacuated;  along 30A there was a mass exodus leaving the area looking much like a ghost town. When the day had passed we were left with a mixture of emotions. There was relief and thankfulness that we did not see the worst effects of the storm. But people also articulated they weren't sure how to feel when disaster passes over you and hits your neighbor instead. Knowing that what happened to Panama City/Mexico Beach area, could have happened here instead brought a somber realization; we escaped what others have not. It's called survivors guilt. 

If you call yourself a Christ follower, this in fact should be our daily reality; not merely when the storms of life come uncomfortably near. By believing in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross, and making him your Lord and Savior, death has already 'passed us over'. He paid the price for my sin, granting me the gift of eternal life with God. Knowing that there are people on each side of me, who will not escape that sentence, should produce in me the same mixture of emotions.

The first is gratitude. Because of what Jesus did for me, I am motivated to show the same grace to others. Gratitude compels us to action. We have seen this in our area. Countless individuals and churches immediately went into these devastated areas looking for physical needs that could be met. Motivated by the knowledge that this could have been them, they felt like they had to help.  Basic fundamentals like food, water, and shelter are first priority. When you meet a person's physical needs, it opens the door to meet their spiritual needs as well. Jesus demonstrated this reality over and over. In John 4 he met a woman at a well. Her physical need was thirst. But her spiritual need was to fill a hole in her soul that left her always thirsty. This is how we partner with God in his mission here on Earth. He very much cares when we have physical needs, but He cares the most about our greater spiritual need. The ultimate goal of our motivation to act should be the truth of the Gospel and it starts with us; it is the realization that I have been spared with a grace that I did not deserve and therefore I need to share what I have with you. 

"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. " - Luke 12:4-5. 

The other emotion many have felt is being overwhelmed. The task of re-building seems so big. Where do we start and to whom do we go to? I think the answer is always to follow the example of Christ. As he travelled in his ministry, He met the need of the person who was directly in front of Him. Many times that need was presented as an interruption or  by someone others would have overlooked. In our modern era, I think Mother Teresa is an example of someone who keenly understood how to look at a massive problem like the world's lack and be the solution. You start with the need that is directly in front you. You start with your neighbor.   Here are some of her thoughts:

• Love begins with the ones who are closest to us; it begins at home. 
• We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
• If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one. 
• Do not wait for leaders. Do it alone. Person to person. 

I can't go to Panama City and pick up a chainsaw. But I can use the talents and gifts that God has given me and I can do it one expecting family at a time.

Lastly, one thing we should never question is the goodness of God, even when bad things like natural disasters happen. If you think the worldly devastation was massive, could you even begin to comprehend the spiritual aftermath that God is working?  It is upside down thinking to us, but God reveals himself in peoples lives how He chooses. Sometimes that is through some pretty fierce storms. I believe He was (and is) working in this midst of this storm in countless ways that our natural eyes don't easily see. Just read the stories on the internet and you will 'see' countless miracles if your eyes are looking for them. You can't fully know Him as comforter, until you have really known fear. You can't fully know him as provider, until you have really known lack.  You can't fully understand his love, until you really comprehend his grace. I can tell you without a doubt, that it was the hardest times in my life that have allowed me to better comprehend God's character. He doesn't just want me to have a head knowledge of his love, he wants me to experience it first hand. As residents of the Emerald Coast, this is our privilege. Disaster may have passed us over, but God's love did not. And by being his missionaries to our neighbors to the east, we are granted an incredible opportunity to know Him more.

Do you know what the name "Michael" means? It means "who is like God?" Who is like this God who controls the winds and waves, yet then cares for my intimate personal needs? Who is like this God who works in all things for the good of those who are called according to his purpose? (Romans 8:28) Who is like this God who would send his one and only son to die to save me from my own certain destruction? Who is like this God who can accomplish all of this without me, yet allows me to partner with him in the administration of grace?  The irony is that in God's economy, it may be the  story of the 'Forgotten Coast' that imprints upon my hometown the most indelible of life lessons. 

In His Image - #nofilter

 "Our problem following Jesus is we're trying to be a better version of us, rather than a more accurate reflection of him." I mentioned this quote by Bob Goff in my last post. It has really sunk into my marrow, which usually means God wants me to meditate on it. This was especially true after reading another book, "This is our Time: everyday myths in light of the gospel." by Trevin Wax. Scripture tells us that as we grow in our faith and mature in our discipleship we should look, act, and think more like Christ. In fact 1st Corinthians 2:16 tells us through the holy spirit we can actually "have the mind of Christ." Practically, what would that really look like in today's world? I've had to ask myself some hard questions to get to the answer. And I realize the struggle is a daily one.

First, I know it would be completely counter cultural. The world tells me every day to work hard at being a better "Me." And even worse, I'm encouraged to make sure I reflect the best  version of myself that I can to the rest of the world. Facebook, Instagram and every other social media outlet is designed to help us carefully craft what the world sees us reflect. Filters, apps, pithy t-shirts, and stories are all designed to give us just the rightly constructed image to meet our needs. And fundamentally it does speak to one our true needs: the ultimate goal of the selfie is to be known. All of us, including myself, want to be seen and understood. We want to know that we are not invisible, someone really understands us, and that we matter. To be affirmed and accepted is core to human existence. The problem becomes when we are no longer seen doing, but instead doing things to be seen. This is the precise moment things can take a turn: "The primary myth the smartphone tells you every day is that you are the center of the universe."

As I read this I had a chilling thought. Do you know how God defines a carefully crafted image that seeks to put me first? It's called an IDOL. Prioritizing that image is called idolatry. God calls that sin.

   "Do not make any idols." Exodus 34:17

  “Of what value is an idol carved by a craftsman?
    Or an image that teaches lies? For the one who makes it trusts in his own creation;
    he makes idols that cannot speak.
 Woe to him who says to wood, ‘Come to life!’ Or to lifeless stone, ‘Wake up!' Can it give guidance?
    It is covered with gold and silver; there is no breath in it.”. -Habbakuk 2:18

Oh how insidious this is in today's world. It's like a raging current. Before I know it, I am way downstream.  I am not suggesting that every Christian has to completely dump all social media. I like keeping up with friends through their posts and sharing with others what God is doing in my life; it helps us feel connected in a very busy world. Oh, and as an aside, some of those filters do wonders for the little fine lines that keep popping up.  However, one has to realize that to have the mind of Christ will require constant efforts against the flow of culture. When I realized the pull that likes, comments, and views were having on some of my decisions, the Holy Spirit convicted me and I immediately repented. The only way to reflect your true self, and the one God intended, is by living daily connected to the one who created you. It isn't through social media. It is through his Word. He knows you better than you know yourself anyway. That's being fully known. It will never be through the idol of a carefully crafted selfie. Without the Holy Spirit driving the thought processes, "there is no breath in it".  Which brings me to my final thought.

Without the divine breath of life, any idol we have crafted is dead. So ultimately it cannot save. I think one of most insidious and dangerous ways we craft idols is the way we choose to reflect to the world our relationship with God. Sometimes as Christians we think our families, or ourselves, need to look or act a certain way to appear spiritual and inspired. If I go on this mission trip, or adopt that child, participate in that service project or attend this conference, then I will gain a certain level of authenticity (especially if I make sure everyone knows I did it). One of the most extreme examples in scripture is the story of Annais and Saphira. (Acts 5)  They were two believers who brought money to the temple after selling property. That looks obedient, right? The problem is that they lied to the Apostles about the price it was sold for and therefore kept some back for themselves. Immediately God struck them both dead. This may seem really harsh, but the fact is they were trying to reflect a devotion to the Lord that was counterfeit. Their motive was about their appearance, not their worship. God knows this won't bring salvation to anyone including yourself. That he takes very seriously.

The truth is that to reflect the image of Christ it cannot be man-made at all. Otherwise, it is an idol whether religious appearing or secular in origin. So how do we have the mind of Christ and therefore reflect to the world the image for which we were created? By taking away the outer layers of pretense we create to veil our selves and pressing more deeply into the Word of God. With the currents of  prevailing culture, Christians need to know scripture. Then we go out and share those truths with the rest of the world. It's that simple. It is called the Gospel. No filter necessary.

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. -2 Corinthians 3:18

Love Without Fear: Everybody Always

I just finished reading the new book by Bob Goff entitled "Everybody Always".

First let me tell you I highly recommend this read, but my recommendation comes with a warning: You're going to hate it. Wait, what? You read correctly; this book is about to get "all up in your business". It is a complete paradigm shift in your thinking about the way we think as Christians we are called to love others. I've only had one other book affect me like this; it was "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. With a little reflection, I have now realized God has been weaving a work in me for quite some time, slowly but surely, layer by layer, molding me into a disciple who doesn't just give love, but as Bob puts it, "becomes love." By no means am I suggesting I have arrived, but after reading this book, I may better understand the path God has designed for me. It is a path that I might have to battle a few times before I can declare victory....not unlike a place called "Hacksaw Ridge."

Allow me to explain. Not coincidentally just as I finished the book I watched a movie about the true life story of Desmond Doss, entitled "Hacksaw Ridge." Let me assure you after reading "Everybody Always" I just know that Bob and Desmond would have been great friends. Desmond Doss was a conscientious objector in WWII and served as a combat medic; he refused to carry a gun. You could say his only weapon was his bible. Desmond Doss saved 75 injured men single handed after a gruesome battle, carrying or dragging, each one to safety. With each attempt, he would have to go back into enemy territory, to find someone who needed rescue, unarmed and with danger all around.  In the movie, the scene is climatic as Desmond exhausted and bloody, asks God with each rescue to help him save "Just one more."  The imagery is  profound.  Desmond, knowing the Lord was with him and "armed" with only the sword of the Spirit, knew he didn't need to be afraid. Bob Goff puts it like this,"What I'm learning about love is that we have to tackle a good amount of fear to love people who are difficult." and ultimately to love like Jesus did. This is how we are to make disciples; one at a time. "People don't bloom where they are planted. They bloom where they are loved." (Bob Goff)  How would you love if you weren't afraid? Bob's book challenges me to love that way. Ouch.

You see most of my life I have struggled with the fear of rejection. Rooted in my childhood experiences, I have always sought after the approval of others. Until I read Beth Moore's book I mentioned earlier, I did not even fully grasp how much my behaviors were controlled by it. It took finally comprehending God's love for me,trusting the promises in his Word (which meant actually reading it and taking it to heart), and facing a searing rejection as an adult before God helped me overcome that stronghold. Now I distinctly heard his voice say it was time to take the next step in maturing my faith.

What if I rejection didn't just have a hold over me, but I actually really loved in the face of it? I heard in my spirit 1John 4:18 : There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.(NIV) The Message bible puts it this way:

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

The last sentence of this scripture is the punch in gut. If you want to love like Christ, you cannot let fear get in the way. It is the only way to mature your faith. But wait a minute. To love like that might hurt and it is definitely going to be hard. Yep. And truth be told, I am more likely than not going to mess up. Bob tells us this is when we get honest with God and ask for help.

"I still mess up more often than I want to. When I do, instead of beating myself up, wishing I were the guy who had it all figured out, I hear the kind and gently voice of Jesus reminding me once again to stop laying sod where He's planting seed in my life. His reason is simple: He's more interested in making us grow than having us look finished. He wants me to realize I'm just not quite there yet."

"Our problem following Jesus is we're trying to be a better version of us, rather than a more accurate reflection of him." (Bob Goff)  Let that sentence marinate for a few minutes.  When I do that, it brings me to tears.

Now back to the movie scene where Desmond keeps going back for each wounded soul. Once he brings them to safety, he has to lower them down a steep cliff with a rope. The friction has eventually worn the skin off his hands that are now bloody. But he doesn't stop.

Looking at those bloody hands, I realized he was more like Christ in that moment than ever before. Loving everybody always is going to cost you and more likely than not is going to hurt. But to save peoples souls, it is the price we need to pay. Bob suggests this may ultimately be the report card on our faith. "Maybe God made loving Him and our enemies the easiest way to tell whether we just agree with Jesus or if we want to be perfect like Him."

This year God gave me the word FOCUS for 2018. Focus as a verb means "adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly." This book has been like a light switch for me; God adjusted the level of light in my life to look at things differently. But my healing is more a gradual process like in Mark 8.

 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?” He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around." Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.

Maybe my focus for this year is not just a noun but a verb. It is a call to see people differently. 
Why? Because Love Does.  

Staying Gospel Focused: Where Are Your Minas?

In my first post for of 2018, I talked about spiritually getting back on track. From a 'running' standpoint, I hadn't stopped running or even taken a left turn. But rather, I had allowed myself to become distracted and so rather than running a straight focused race, my recent course felt a bit wobbly.

In my first post I mentioned being a little discouraged by my book not being as successful as I had hoped. I believed God had given me a vision for my calling by writing this book.  In my mind, this bible study was a concentrated effort at sharing the gospel with women and hopefully seeing the fruits of transformed lives. I was hoping for a platform that would multiply. What I have come to realize, is that sometimes He will give you a picture of the vision, but the actual delivery is like a box with multiple parts that reads "assembly required". It's going to take lots of work.

Last week at church we heard from Luke 19 of the Parable of the Ten Minas. You can read it here. (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+19&version=NIV)  In the past when I read this passage I felt it was a parable about stewardship of our possessions. A mina was a unit of currency in Jesus' time.  In Matthew 25 Jesus spoke about The Parable of the Bags of Gold. I had interpreted them to be speaking about the same thing. In other words, how well do you steward the possessions, talents, and wealth that God has given you? Not all of us are given the same talents or wealth; however, we are expected to use what we have for kingdom building. But there is a big difference in these two stories. In the story about the bags of gold, the master begins by giving out differing amounts to his servants; they don't begin with the same amount. In the Parable of the Ten Minas, each of the ten servants are given the same amount.  Our pastor posed the question, what is something as believers that each of us are given as a deposit to invest? The answer is the Gospel.

I spent the next week really pondering that idea. I thought to myself, "sure, I share the gospel. I have even wrote a bible study about it." And then one morning as I was running on the treadmill, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "How many times do you share the Gospel with a woman during a given week? How many women do you encounter in a typical week? I have already given you a bigger platform; now what are you going to do with it?. "As I thought about it, I realized that number had grown. I used to see 25-40 patients per day. But in the past several years, my daily schedule has continued to rise to the point where I see 40 people every day. It is so easy form me when I am busy to become task focused instead of gospel focused. Forty people is a lot of patients to move through and can easily become tiresome. Also, dealing with people is hard. I'm not always aware of everything going on their lives when they come through my doors. Making an effort to crack that surface takes time and work; something, that on some days, I feel short of.  I have realized in some aspects my busyness has distracted me from my spiritual focus; this is a great tactic of the enemy.  If he can't make you bad, he will make you busy.  More people equals a bigger platform for sharing the Gospel; I already have what I was looking for. And in that moment I distinctly heard the Lord say, "Stay in your lane. Do the work I've called you to do."
At the end of this parable Jesus tells them, "I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away."  In other words, being faithful day to day to share the deposit He has given, will automatically increase my ability to do so. He had already done that. My job is to stay gospel focused. 
 

Stay in Your Lane

     Inevitably as the year ends, like most individuals, I start to ponder what goals or resolve to have into the New Year. In the past, I have asked the Lord to provide me with a bible verse aligned with his desires for my heart for the coming year.  And in his typical fashion, he has never failed. I've had some great ones like, Philippians 4:8-9 (focusing on what's true/pure)  and Isaiah 43-18-19. (God doing a new thing), Phil 4:11(being content in all circumstances) They have often been uplifting, encouraging, and exhorting. But this year, the Lord had a message for me I didn't fully see coming.

Lots of things changed in my life toward the end of 2017. My two sons both went to college leaving Greg and I with the proverbial 'empty nest'. However, the nest was promptly filled with two rescue pups from Alaqua that were full time. The entire rhythm of the house changed. Until August, Greg and I would wake up each morning, drink our coffee and read daily scriptures out loud together. This had been our practice for many years, but in 2017 we vowed to read them out loud to each other. It afforded great conversation and spiritual growth.  But once the dogs came, our routine fell apart.  Further, some of my close personal relationships ended or changed in ways I can't explain. There were personal conflicts. Work was busier than ever and all this slowly consumed my attentions.

I also published my first bible study in 2017 (Finding Your Worth in Christ: a study of Mary Magdalene)  https://www.facebook.com/beachstork/  It was the culmination of years of listening to the Lord and my experiences ministering to women.  I was sure it was part of my calling to write this book. So of course I expected to see God use it mightily for his glory. That wasn't the issue. It was that I wanted to see it with my own eyes. I needed to know that others appreciated my gift as well.  However, my lofty expectations were not met. And if I am honest, it made me sad. "Now what, God?", I asked. I began to feel like I didn't know my place in my spiritual race. Ironically the book was written to set women free from spiritual strongholds, but I felt myself being pulled right back into some of my own.  My soul was left with an emptiness and longing for both connection and the Word. I think deep down, I knew I wasn't where I needed to be. As Christmas approached, I set my resolve to press into the Lord for the holiday season. I actually deliberately avoided the hectic-ness and fluff of the season.

As I was flipping through my IG, I came across this quote: "Don't waste your gift because you are too busy trying to get others to notice your gift. Stay in your lane. Live your purpose."

 I saved it and moved on. But the Holy Spirit kept whispering to me, "Stay in your lane." I knew there was something I was supposed to deposit from this. And then the Lord brought this verse to my remembrance:

Galatians 5:7-8 " You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That type of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you."

And in an instant, the realization that I had allowed myself to get off track hit like a ton a bricks. I have allowed myself to be distracted in more ways than one and my enemy knew it. It wasn't that my calling had changed. I had taken my eyes off of it. Distractions like busyness, seeking acceptance, pride, and comparison all pulled me off course.  As Paul exhorts us in Hebrews 12, we must "throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."   For 2018, I need to re-focus by very simply eliminating distractions that don't serve my purpose/calling, especially those that lead to sin. So how do I  do that? Well, the Lord was faithful to also provide that wisdom. Another quote soon appeared :

"Do you know why race horses wear blinders? Because they have to focus on running their own race. Learn to do the same." 

I have some ideas about how to do this. First, is to discipline myself back into daily reading of the Word. Greg and I began afresh this morning reading aloud to each other; this year we are choosing the ESV edition. We use http://oneyearbibleonline.com/, which is an easy format for reading through the entire bible in a year.  I will also wait upon the Lord to reveal more ways to re-focus in 2018. In the meantime, I have felt Spirit-led to resurrect this blog. Because when I'm 'Running on Faith', I know I'm in my God given lane.