Channeling Elijah

From the title of my post, you might guess that recent circumstances have made me identify with this important biblical character. Lest you think that I am about to induct myself into the Hebrews Hall of Faith, let me immediately explain. I'm relating to his humanity.
Elijah was prophet of God raised up by God to speak his word to the Kings of Israel. There were many prophets during his time, but Elijah was unique for many reasons. He was called to stand for God during a time when an evil king, Ahab, and his very evil wife were in authority. Her name was Jezebel and she was always looking for a way to get at Elijah. She wanted to see him fail.
The story goes that there was a drought and severe famine in the land. Elijah challenged the pagan prophets (450 of them)  to call upon their God to burn up a sacrifice on the altar in an effort to end the drought/famine. The prophets of Baal did everything they could, but no answer. Then it was Elijah's turn. He built up the altar to the Lord, dug a trench around it and doused it with water three times. The trench filled with water. Next, in front of everyone watching, he called upon the LORD. " O Lord, answer me! Answer me so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God and that you have brought them back to yourself.” 1 Kings 18:37  What do you think happened next? God sent fire from heaven that burnt up the entire altar, even lapping up all the water in the trench. Could you imagine being a bystander to that? I'm sure that Elijah, although a man of immense faith, went through a myriad of emotions. If it were me, (and I'm being totally honest here) I would have gone from "God, please show up...to MY GOD not only shows up, but he kicks tail and takes names!"  After the showdown, Elijah tells his assistant to look toward the sea. Eventually he sees a tiny rain cloud, barely visible. This turns into a torrential downpour, ending the drought. Elijah, whose faith was now filled to the brim, was so filled with renewed strength that he ran ahead of Ahab's chariot all the way back home.
After all this, Jezebel hears of what has happened. She is infuriated with renewed vigor to destroy Elijah. Elijah flees. The bible tells us he is so discouraged that essentially he asks God to take his life. I always read this passage and wondered how he could feel that way after seeing God show up so big in his life. But now I think I understand.
I too feel like I have been walking by faith in a land where there are Jezebels who would love to see me fail. One of my biggest fears all this time has been that I would have a clinical situation or emergency that I couldn't handle alone. Well, of course it was just a matter of time until something would happen and it did. Last week I inherited a patient who experienced a massive postpartum hemorrhage. She originally intended to birth at home; had she been successful at that, she probably would have died. But as fate, would have it... or faith would have it... she came to the hospital and became my patient.  When it became apparent that her bleeding was life-threatening, I started praying..."God, please show up. Carry me. Lead me. Please don't let me fail you." To cut to the chase, it was quite a showdown in the OR. Ultimately, I had to take out her uterus to save her life and she received more blood products than we have ever given for a hemorrhage.  But she is alive and well and so is her baby. When it was done, I thanked God. I actually wept in praise during church the next morning. I knew my God was for me...so who can be against me? His love never fails.
The next week though, I felt exhausted. I was falling asleep every night before 8 pm. My mood was down. I realized what it was. I keep looking for the tiny rain cloud in the distance of God's provision/grace in my circumstances. But at the end of the day, my circumstances are still the same. At that moment, I remembered Elijah's story.  Maybe he felt down because at the end of the day, he was still feeling alone and nothing had happened to the Jezebels. I thought to myself, "What is wrong with you? You just saw God show up big in your life. He answered prayer. He provided. Why so down?"  I no longer felt any condemnation for how he felt; instead I related to his humanity. Greg and I are trying hard to hang on until God reveals his plan in its entirety. It's good to know that even the heroes in the Hebrews hall of faith were human at heart too.

Lessons from Boot Camp- Installment #2

I'm currently in my second round of boot camp. Most of the folks who were committed and made it all the way through round one have stuck with it and persevered for round two. Our instructor, Joe Thibodeau, created a new identity for the group...Thi Bod Fitness. New folks joined us for round two. As expected, some have already dropped out, but a few have kept at it and are seeing the benefits of discipline and camaraderie in fitness.
Fridays at 6am are an optional work-out time. Most weeks we are able to meet on the beach at Dune Allen and bust out a good workout before starting our last day of the work week. Depending on Joe's schedule, sometimes he is unable to make it. This morning was one of those mornings so he posted a work out on Facebook for those who wanted to set their alarms, head to the beach and stay on track.
Today only myself and one other friend showed up. Her name is Samantha 'aka', Sam. She is very fit and I was grateful she was there. Motivating each other, we made it through the whole work out, which was not an easy one, in record time. (We completed that which should have taken us an hour, in 45 minutes!) One of the cycles we were told to complete 5 times!...it was 20 split jump squats, 25 high knees (Sam's favorite) and 15 squat jumps w/pushup). Had I been alone, I probably would have quit at 3 cycles. But since we were together we did all five.
On my drive home, the Lord reminded me of a scripture.

Ecclesiates 4:9-10 Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other one can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

It was interesting that he brought this to my mind because it made me realize something about all things that we struggle with in life...it's always going to be easier if you are willing to share it with someone else. When things are hard, especially if we are not proud of the struggle, we are tempted to keep it private. The problem with that is that if you fall down in your attempts to deal with it, there is no one to help you back up. The Enemy wants you to keep it private so that you will either feel isolated which leads to discouragement or harbor it as a secret sin. As Christians, it is imperative to have accountability. I was always told this person needs to be someone other than your spouse. We each need a close friend who we can safely share our struggles with who will hold us accountable to God's word, not judge us for our individual weakness, but encourage us to let God deal with us in those areas that need strengthening. It was interesting that this boot camp illustration came to me this morning because a friend and I were having a dialogue about some personal life struggles at the very same time. I realized it is no different than doing boot camp with Sam this morning...two are better than one.