Remind Me

I had a pretty neat experience yesterday that I wanted to be sure and journal about. On Friday, the day before, I delivered a patient who had twins. This woman and her husband are strong believers in Christ and I had forged a good bond with them throughout her pregnancy. She is so pleasant to be with and the love of Christ radiates from her countenance.
The day after she delivered I went to see her and because I was stuck at the hospital for other reasons spent a good bit of time with them in her room. We talked about a lot of spiritual things including how God had worked in their lives and some of the visions he has given them. In the context of the conversation, she shared that she had come to a whole new understanding of the scripture, "We love because he first loved us." 1John 4:19 She related that her pregnancy had shown her in a very tangible way how God loves us before we ever love him back. (She loved her babies long before they are capable of loving her) That he has purpose and plans for us.  That he has intentions or prayers for us, just like she and her husband had done for their unborn twins. I was struck as she imparted the revelation how God must really rejoice when the plans and blessings he has for us unfold and we embrace them (like her now getting to embrace her babies).   As part of the conversation, I shared that I had written a book three years ago to impart some of the truths that God had shared with me about how pregnancy can teach us some of the things tangibly he wants us to learn. I then went on to share that God has very plainly told me to write and recently has again confirmed for me this calling.
What I didn't tell them was that recently I have felt so overwhelmed with my daily tasks of life, that I had begun to wonder how I would ever fulfill God's plan for me to write. Just when I was starting to wonder if that really was in my calling, he reaffirmed it for me. I had someone tell me that a national Christian magazine, Charisma,  was planning to write an article about the 'Birthday Project' that I participated in on my birthday. The writer of the article had surfed the web looking at posts and based on my writings had decided to use an excerpt from my blog in the article. Several days later I had a fairly new patient of mine tell me at her routine OB visit that she had just finished reading my book. She told me that she thought it was wonderfully filled with truth and she could see the anointing in my writing; this blessed my heart so much. God wanted me to be sure not to lose sight of my calling.
So back to my twin mother and father. After I shared that God had called me to write and had recently again confirmed that calling with both prophesy and people speaking into my life, the father asked if he could pray with me. Of course I accepted. As he prayed for us all, God immediately brought back the sweetest memory to my mind. It was a long time ago at the beginning of my faith walk when the father of another set of twins prayed over me. It was that man who helped in part bring me to Christ.
As that sweet memory flooded my mind, holding the hands of this dear couple, tears welled up in my eyes. God you are so good. So faithful to finish what you start in us and even now faithful to remind me how far you have brought me. First from death to life. And now confirming that your salvation plan also involves life here on Earth that is abundant with vision and purpose; you will be faithful to ensure that I run the race you have planned for me.
After we prayed, I had to share with them that it was the father of critically ill twins who selflessly prayed over me, that largely impacted my salvation. Further, God was so sweet to bring that experience full circle in my life now.
Today in church we sang Kari Job's "I know that you are For Me"... it echoes over and over to "Remind me, who you are." God you are good, and I love when you remind me in such a sweet way.

Boot Camp Graduation- Round 3

Yesterday I finished my third round of Boot Camp. At the completion of each cycle we undergo a graduation challenge. In the past this has encompassed some type of obstacle course with a series of challenges. Yesterday's finale was no different. Except for a few things. The first is that Greg came this time to watch. It meant a lot to me and in my heart was symbolic of the obstacles we have fought together to overcome this year. Because he was there he was able to take a few photos while I was completing the course. This one is my favorite.They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Here what this one says to me:

Any obstacle can be overcome with faith. 1. Specifically, Faith in God. Faith is athletic training for the soul. It requires believing that God would never set a challenge before you that he didn't already know that you had the potential to succeed. After completing 12 weeks of boot camp, every one of us had the ability to succeed in the graduation challenge. Why? Because weeks and months of smaller but incremental challenges that had already been overcome had developed the necessary muscle to complete the task.
The same is true in our walk with God. When you exert faith to believe what his word says is true about his character and his love in smaller areas of your life, it gives your faith spiritual muscle to rely on him when the bigger challenges come. God only allows the challenges period because he knows they will give you the ability to accomplish bigger tasks down the line. If you don't do the work of believing in him, you never get to experience the exhilaration of seeing him deliver at the finish line.

2. Although faith in God is required, I still have to play my part. Overcoming obstacles is more than just believing. It's doing. It is not simply enough to believe that God's word is true. You have to demonstrate that belief in your actions. As James tells us, faith without works is dead.
When I looked at the bulletin board that showed us on graduation day what challenges lay ahead, I had to admit for a moment I was anxious. It wasn't going to be enough to believe that I could do it. I was going to have put some muscle and effort into it to make it happen. But when training, belief, and action all come together and the challenge is successfully overcome...you never feel more alive than at that moment. That's what the scripture talks about when it says that God just doesn't want to give us life, but life more abundant.

I'm so glad for what boot camps have taught me; not only for what they taught me about myself, but what they have shown me about the physical challenges in life and how they mirror our spiritual ones. I'm ready for the next round, even though the obstacles may get tougher. Why? Because the reward is greater.

A New Title.

Recently I applied to be a SPA. This stands for "Sweat Pink Ambassador." I just found out that I was accepted and I am very excited! Sweat Pink is the motto for Fit Approach which is an online community of people (mostly women) who are girly,  love to exercise, and get sweaty....I thought to myself, "this is right up my alley".  Their mission statement reads as follows: " We believe that kicking tail is best done in pretty shoes. We’ve learned that real women sweat, and sweat hard. We know that assertiveness, strength, and ambition are the ultimate feminine qualities. We concede that sometimes it takes hours to get ready, but we’re also no strangers to just rolling out of bed and going. We’re convinced that we run faster in pink shoelaces. We believe in pushing ourselves, and we believe in giving ourselves a break, too. We’re all about the rush of endorphins and the thrill of the challenge. We’re all for looking great and feeling even better. We’re committed to finding our best fit, and making it stick. " This is so me.

So what is an ambassador? By definition : an authorized messenger or representative. Sent by one sovereign as its resident representative. To merit this title with Fit Approach, I had to submit an application that described my lifestyle of fitness; I could not merely assign myself the title, but rather by their authority be given it and deemed worthy to accept it. I explained to them in words that I live to practice what I preach as a physician who focuses on the health of women. I exercise daily. I adhere to a diet of healthy intake. And balance all of it with moderation. I think this is the part of their philosophy that resonated with me. I've seen people that can even turn exercise and diet into religion by placing it above God in importance. I don't want that to be me.

The other part of this that resonated is the fact that my fitness is just one element of an ambassadorship I already participate in. Anyone who calls them self a Christian, has essentially assumed the role of an ambassador. In this case you are an ambassador for Christ. Inherent in this is the understanding that as a Christian we are living in a foreign land that's not our home. We were sent here to act as an emissary representing the interests of the one who sent us ...God.  By definition, it is possible for someone to assume a title without the proper authority behind it.  In other words, there are plenty of people who say they are representing Christ or define themselves as "Christian" but may not be living life consistent with that responsibility.  How do we recognize whether someone has the proper authority? The scripture tells us.

"And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 2nd Corinth 5:18-20. 

 People acting under God's authority proclaim Christ; not themselves and they don't contradict scripture. People who are truly ambassadors of Christ don't live lifestyles that contradict his Word or his message.   By God's authority we have been sent to spread the wonderful news of the Gospel. God created each of us with a unique calling, gifting or talent that is designed to help you with this purpose. SPA ambassadors don't all participate in the same sport. Some do yoga, some cross-fit, some run and some love Zumba. Whatever their passion is, they use it to further the lifestyle of healthy living and promote this message to others. It's the same for Christians. Whatever our calling is from God, we should use it to translate the message of his kingdom. The Gospel of Christ is also a message of health, healing, and community. We should not just say it; we should live it. As a physician, if I spoke to my patients about exercise, weight management and healthy living, but was completely out of shape myself, that would completely negate my medical soundness. Finally, at  this point in my life I get that.  The same is true for Christians. Our lifestyle speaks louder than our words; as an ambassador for Christ, we need to be Christ not just talk about him.  Further, I believe one should approach it with gusto and make sure that we take a 'fit approach' to it. Scripture tells us we need to be fit for our calling. "So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen." 2nd Peter 1:10  Plainly put, this means show why you have been chosen as an ambassador. 

That is my goal whether it is living in this physical body that I have or fulfilling my spiritual calling. To be FIT for the calling God has placed upon me and to represent him to the best of my ability. Sometimes I might fall down in this task, but I will get back up, dust off my pink laces, and keep running my race. It's what I'm called to do. 

Who Knew Chicken was So Controversial?

This week I supported a political cause. Let me start by saying that for the most part I am not a political person. Certainly, I have definite beliefs and viewpoints regarding the government and its relationship to citizens, but I don't particularly enjoy all the rhetoric. However, I do recognize that we live in age of the church where the relationship between religion and state is under attack...one nation under God, indivisible appears to be a source of controversy. The fact is, the American church when compared to the rest of the world's believers is blessed. We don't suffer the physical obstacles that most believers do in other parts of the world to practice their faith. We don't suffer threats of death, torture or martyrdom. Our form of persecution comes in a completely different fashion and it involves what speaks the loudest in our nation...the dollar. Recently the founder of Chick-filet was interviewed for a Baptist publication. He was asked about his definition of marriage and he affirmed his biblical belief that marriage is between one man and one woman. Because he did not waiver from this, in order to please man or...in other words potential customers, he was attacked. The gay and lesbian community went on the offensive suggesting boycotts and media smearing. In some cities, public elected officials suggested that the restaurant not be allowed to open new franchises. Remember, he was simply asked what he believed.
Persecution: to oppress or harass with ill treatment especially on the basis of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or beliefs.
As believers this should come as no surprise that a successful business who stands on biblical values was eventually attacked.

The bible says....." In fact, EVERYONE, who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." 2nd Timothy 3:12. This is part of our faith walk with Christ. If you stand firm on what you say you believe, you will be challenged. Period.

Why did I eat at Chick-filet? First let me say why I did not eat there. I did not eat there because I hate gay people. I did not eat there because I wanted to make a political statement. I did not want to hurt anyone by eating there; I have gay friends who I interact with daily. In fact, I interact daily with countless people. Some are Christian, some are not. Some live godly lifestyles. Many do not. I try very hard not to distinguish my kindness toward them. I do however distinguish my closeness; I am very careful what influences I allow into my life and my heart.  It is my goal on a daily basis to show everyone I meet the love of Christ. I sometimes fail, but I aim to live blamelessly trying. I ate there because as a Christian business owner who is an American, I will stand up for my religious beliefs and my ability to pursue my constitutional rights without fear of government appraisals. I knew that eating there would probably upset some people who would see my decision as a statement of my opinion on their beliefs. In fact, I was called a bigot and 'celebrater of hatred' on my facebook page. As believers we will all be called at times to affirm if we really believe what we say we do. You will have to decide in that moment whether you are living to please God or man. I would argue  that as we mature in our faith, the more we aim try to please God. "If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Jesus Christ." Galations 1:10
Sometimes stepping across that line will even mean being at odds with your own family. (Luke 14:26)

The fact of the matter is that I don't view homosexuality any differently than any other sin or area of disobedience to God. I believe in Jesus and that the bible is true. The bible says that this way of life is wrong and an affront to our creator....just like adultery, lying, stealing, etc. When a person elevates an act of disobedience to a place in their life where it is above the word of God and therefore it determines how they live the rest of their life, the fact of the matter is, that becomes their religion. Jesus is not just our Savior...he is our Lord. Yes, he does show tremendous mercy. Many blogs written against Christians eating at Chick-filet said that we were not being loving or showing mercy by doing so. I disagree. I did not attack anyone for their beliefs or practices or tell them that they had to change; I merely stood firm in my own. In America, the dollars speaks. I put my money where my mouth is...literally, with a chicken sandwich and a peach milkshake (which was divine, by the way). Furthermore, I tithe and allocate my monies to numerous other social causes as the Spirit leads me.  When as Christians we are attacked (and remember who started this fight), we are simply called to do just that. Just stand. I'm sorry, but standing firm in unity is not being hateful. God will do the fighting. Further, every instance in the bible where Jesus showed mercy to a sinner, he ultimately challenged them to change. "Go and sin no more." (John 8:11/ God will accept you just the way you are, but he will not leave you that way. THIS IS THE CONTROVERSY.  We don't change people, God does.  This should be our message as Christians to the non-believing world. Love the person, encourage them to know God more, and he will do the changing from the inside out.
The most interesting thing about this whole chicken sandwich business was watching people. I saw every range of human belief, emotion, and expression. A huge majority were too lazy to really know what the whole thing was about. Don't do the homework, but still have an opinion. The most enlightening for me was the reaction of professed believers. I saw a lot of expressions of what I would call, "Fast Food Christianity" , if you'll pardon the pun. These are believers who subscribe to the  message that will satisfy for the moment, but not necessarily nourish the soul. It's not what's best, but what is popular and easy.  Even Christians called this an act of hate and didn't stand with their Christian brothers and sisters. The worst I thought was so called 'bible scholars' who twisted scripture to suit their agenda. This was downright scary. People were quoting scripture left and right. For some it became confusing. God is not a God of confusion; his message is simple. Not easy, but simple. The interesting thing is that the bible tells us that this is exactly what will happen towards the end of days/this age of the church.  "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other,  and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.  Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,  but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." Matthew 24. 
As the church, we should not attack each other for affirming God's word. The outside world will be quick to do that. If someone felt that eating at Chick-filet was a stumbling block to others, then don't do it. God will examine your conscience and affirm if you are correct. But in the meantime, we shouldn't attack our believing brothers/sisters.

The Birthday Project: 42 Not So RAOK- Part 2

Forty Two Not So Random Acts of Kindness- July 17th, 2012

Welcome to Part 2. Before we go any further I have to tell you that posting this blog is in no way motivated by self promotion. I am not boasting in any way apart from what God has done in my own heart and through me for the benefit of others. If anything, let me tell you it was a humbling experience and a privilege. Part 1 of The Birthday Project : 42 Not So Random Acts of Kindness outlined my motivation for wanting to do this ministry on my birthday. Planning my birthday has never been this exciting as a adult; this project actually re-kindled some of that childhood joy that birthdays used to hold. As I mentioned previously, I cannot take credit for this idea. I actually read about it on a blog (http://www.thebdayproject.com/  ) but felt compelled for my own reasons to celebrate my birthday with acts of kindness for others. Turning 42 and planning out that many acts requires logistical tactics --that's a lot of candles, folks. That's why I have entitled it " 42 Not So Random Acts of Kindness."  It is  also because I started my project by praying that God would purposely show me people that I could bless...not randomly, but according to his purposes.
The project actually launched the Thursday before my actual birthday. So ready, set, here we go!

1. Donated Blood

Thursday July 12-NWFL Bloodmobile

I recently had an obstetrical patient that almost died from massive postpartum hemorrhage. Before you fret, both mom and baby are fine after some surgical maneuvers. But she did require 11 units of blood. I knew one of my RAOK's needed to be donating blood. When you donate blood, you may never know who benefits from it, but I assure you that you have saved a life in a very practical way. I usually get a bad bruise from blood draws; I didn't even have a scratch, let alone a bruise. Divine providence, I'm sure.

Me and Genevieve, my hairdresser

2 &3. Wrote thank you letters to my hair dresser and esthetician with gift cards for Starbucks coffee inside. I have the best hairdresser. She has mad skills making be blonder than I pretend to be and always listens to what I ask. Good hairdressers are a blessing. My facials with Tammy are a monthly retreat from reality; this woman deserves to be blessed. Here is a photo of me and Genevieve, my hairdresser.

Robin's feet 7/13/12

4. Visited and Gave Someone in the Hospital a Pedicure. After I gave blood I went to the cafeteria to get a sandwich. I ran into the husband of a patient of mine who has Acute Leukemia and is currently getting her 5th round of chemotherapy. Running into him was NO coincidence; it was a divine appointment. He told me she was upstairs. I asked God how I could bless her. I thought about a gift certificate for a pedicure or something; then God said, "No, you are going to do it." So I gathered all my supplies and the next day I took them to the Med-Surg floor at SHHEC. While sitting on the floor, I massaged her poor feet, trimmed her nails, made them super pretty with pink polish and listened to her as she needed to tell her story. At the end I specifically prayed over her for healing, strength and that she would personally know that God was with her and not alone. When you've lost all your hair and can't have any flowers in your room, having your toes look pretty is a tangible blessing. In the end it was me who receiving the healing.

5. Sent a card to a friend. Hand written notes are becoming a lost form of communication. I think they really let someone know you took the time to care.

6. Took care of an obstetrical patient whose provider was not available when I was not on call (on a Saturday). Not random, but beneficial to all involved. In the flesh, I wanted to decline. But I remembered my prayers and agreed. It was a beautiful delivery.

7. Picked up trash on the beach. I love Dune Allen beach and I am blessed to live so close to it. My husband and I walked down Sunday morning and picked up a sizable bag of trash between two beach accesses.
8. Wrote a love note to my husband.  9. Took homemade cinnamon rolls to the labor and delivery nurses.  10. Wrote a thank you note and gift card to my Mail carrier at the office.

This is where my actual birthday started... I spent the day with my best friend who helped me with the rest of the project. We had a great day! I always start my day making my husband's coffee for him and feeding the stray cats that live around our home.

Cute birthday buddy we met at the Donut Hole!

12. Left an anonymous note and gift card for a trailer home down the street.
 13. Paid for the meal of a father eating breakfast with his two children at the Donut Hole anonymously. 14. Met a server at The Donut Hole who was also celebrating her birthday today. Gave her gift certificates to see a movie and get an ice cream. Isn't she cute? (and tall)

15. Took donuts and thank you card to South Walton Fire house. 16. Took donuts to Surgical Nurses and Preop staff.

17/18.. Gave thank you cards to the volunteers who man the desks at the Family Birth Place and Surgical Waiting area with gift cards to Starbucks.

 


19/20 Placed magazines in waiting areas at the hospital in multiple locations
21. Placed coloring books and crayons in children's waiting area at FBP.

22. Placed quarters and notes on vending machines at Family birth place to bless someone with a snack/drink.

23. Put away shopping carts at Publix's, Walmart, and Home Depot along the way, multiple times. Here is my BFF, Lisa, so proud she got 3 carts at one time. Love her!

24. Asked people if we could return their carts for them. Especially helpful when it was a mom with her child.

25. Put notes with Movie Theater Popcorn on numerous Redboxes in our area.

26. Went to a coin Laundromat and put coins w/ notes on the dryers and washing machines.

27. Stopped and placed notes and coins on more vending machines on Hwy 98.

Caring and Sharing S.Walton

28. Went to Caring and Sharing in South Walton and donated canned goods/food.

29. Went through the drive through at Starbucks and paid for two cars behind me.

30. Went to Destin Commons. Fed parking meter that was expired.

The simplest things matter the most.

31. This was our favorite of the whole day! Brought popsicles to the water fountains @ the Commons and blessed an entire group of children there with  popsicles for each one on a very hot day! It probably was no coincidence that an entire group of kids from a local daycare was there playing in the fountains; God's timing is perfect. They loved it and my heart was overflowing!

 
32. Gave a custodian at Destin Commons a gift certificate for an ice cream. She works outside and it was very hot today.

33. When we had lunch at Cracker Barrel, paid for a family's lunch anonymously.

34. Went through the Toll Booth on the Mid-Bay bridge and paid for the next car behind me. The toll booth collector told me that she "just loves when people do  that!"

35/36..  Bought flowers for my BFF who spent the day with me and sent her handwritten card in the mail thanking her for her friendship, time spent, and gifts.

37. Placed flowers on 3 graves sites today, including the son of one of my friends.

38. Wrote note on the scale at the gym I go to.

39. Put encouraging note in the ladies changing room.

40. I Gave out $1.00 lottery tickets to everyone at my Zumba class. Here is a picture of myself and Jacque, a friend at Zumba who is a fierce dancer, and claimed she was holding the winning ticket! The best was that one lady told me "this is the nicest thing someone has done for me all day."; I gave her a big hug because in my opinion she needed it. It was quite fun to see peoples' expressions when you told them you were giving THEM something for your birthday. They blessed me and sang "Happy Birthday" to me in class.

41. Wrote a thank you card to my neighbor who graciously cuts our grass for us, since we don't own a lawn mower here.


42. Wrote something kind on a few friends' facebook walls. Kind words are healing; don't withhold them.

It was a great birthday!  I know that God put me here on planet Earth 42 years ago for a definite purpose. The reason isn't just about me, but rather to show others who God is and what life with him is all about. The Birthday Project completely drove that point home today; when your birthday becomes about giving to others, it is a small representation on the calendar of your life as a whole. I'm not sure I will ever look at my birthday the same ever again. 

The Birthday Project: 42 Not so RAOK -Part One

Next week I'm having another birthday. No exciting vacation or crazy celebration is planned. Circumstances don't permit. If you follow my blog then you know I mostly write about my current life circumstances and what God is  teaching me through them. The past year and a half has been challenging to say the least, but my faith and walk with the Lord has been proportionally stretched. The temptation is always present in our flesh when presented with struggles not of our choosing to hunker down and feel quite sorry for yourself. If you remember the story of Job, at one point he was so miserable sitting the ditch, picking his wounds, that he just wanted to quit living. I'll admit, at times, I have felt the temptation to just give in to those kinds of feelings. But then I remember how much God has done for me past, present, and future. I remember that Jesus didn't ever quit on me and so I press on...hoping in what the Lord will bring out of this situation. When people hurt you, the temptation is to  give up on them and even humanity as a whole. We all have met people like that;  so wounded at some point in their lives that everyone in their path will be sure to feel it. When presented with bitter or better...I choose better. Why? Because despite humanity's short comings, God still uses us to do his work...day after day. I've seen it.  And just like my entire blog inspiration...I'm determined to finish the race set before me.
The key word here...determined...means to set a course for one's mind. For me, it is not to give up hope and faith in God and to deliberately work on setting the affections of my heart on the things God would want me to want. I've come to the realization that part of the reason I'm in this particular situation is that I did not prioritize the way God wanted me to....and so he has used these circumstances, and the people involved to confine me for a while until I got it right. Although this season is a detour in life He didn't cause, he is faithful  to make sure that that something for my good comes out of it.  Nothing like spiritually being sent to time-out by God, huh? Detours in life are a test of our hope in God and willingness to obey.

That leads us finally to the birthday project. Surfing Pinterest one day I came across a pin that led me to a blog. What caught my attention first was that I recognized the author...she was a former patient of mine. The blog detailed a ministry that she has started called "The Birthday Project." For her 38th birthday, she purposed to do 38 random acts of kindness. This launched an entire ministry that encourages others to do the same.  http://www.thebdayproject.com/ This struck in a cord in me for several reasons.

1. I have too much stuff. In fact, I need to get rid of a lot of it. So I definitely don't need anything for my birthday. In fact, "stuff" has been part of the issue along. Putting the accumulation of earthly stuff for myself in front of what the Lord has wanted me to use my resources for, has hindered my spiritual race.  I read about David, who was described as being a 'man after God's own heart." When David sat back and looked at his abundance, he had it in his heart that he should build a temple for God. Although, he didn't ultimately build it, it did bless God's heart that David in his abundance did not focus on himself and acquiring more, but instead on what he could do for God.  I believe this past year has helped me turn my heart toward this same understanding:

"This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God. Carrying out this social relief work involves far more than helping meet the bare needs of poor Christians. It also produces abundant and bountiful thanksgivings to God. This relief offering is a prod to live at your very best, showing your gratitude to God by being openly obedient to the plain meaning of the Message of Christ. You show your gratitude through your generous offerings to your needy brothers and sisters, and really toward everyone. Meanwhile, moved by the extravagance of God in your lives, they'll respond by praying for you in passionate intercession for whatever you need" (2nd Corin 9:9-15)  Plainly put, God blesses us primarily so that we can bless others into understanding the kingdom of God. Believing this, I feel there really are no "random" acts of kindness, because God is working through humanity in each one to accomplish specific purposes.

2. I  am emotionally tired.   As I mentioned, I've been at this for a year and a half. I've only had 4 days off during that entire time during which I became very sick with the flu. Physically, I'm fine. Truth be told, I'm probably in the best physical shape I've been. The Lord has time and time again provided rest, manipulated labor curves, and determined the course of events to protect me over and over during this season of life. It is just hard sometimes to wait on the Lord; he knows it. However,  I know from walking with God long enough that if you want to take your mind off your own problems, even if for a short while, focus on others. Specifically, I remembered this truth:
"A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. " Proverbs 11:25  NIV.  The Message translation  puts it this way, "The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped. " That's really what I want for my birthday...to be refreshed, abundantly blessed, and helped. Because fundamentally I know that any gift that God gives me will far outdo anything I could earthly ask for.

With this in mind, I decided at that moment I was going to do the Birthday Project this year for my own birthday. I'm going to be turning 42 this year! That many acts takes some serious planning; so I'm calling it 42 Not So Random Acts of Kindness. Not random, because I also have been praying that God would purposely show me people that need to be blessed. I've invited my best friend to spend the day with me, because knowing her heart, I knew she would thoroughly enjoy participating in this with me.  I was right; she is as excited as I am.  I would generally admit that at a certain age, birthdays begin to lose their appeal. However, I have to say, this year I'm like a kid at Christmas waiting to open her presents. I can't wait until it's my birthday. Only 3 more days!

A Note From the Heart

If you participate in any social media like Facebook or Pinterest, you have probably noticed a trend that seems to have become hugely popular. It's called 'e-cards'. These are short sassy little thoughts encapsulated into a brief paragraph to express an idea. Most of them are either sarcastic, biting or crude. However, their popularity has exploded and the majority are posting, re-posting, and pinning them.

When something becomes very popular in mainstream culture, my brain usually tries to figure out the "why" behind the "what", particularly on a spiritual level. So I have spent some time thinking out this particular facet of social media, talked it over with my husband and now it has manifested itself into a blog.
When trying to describe these e-cards, the best word we came up with for a description of their 'humor' was...sophomoric. Look up the word and it is defined as "conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature." That pretty much sums it up. Most of them are sarcastic (which infers pride) and childish.
God's word has a lot to say about our words and how they are connected to our behaviors. Psalm 1 says it this way:
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked,or stand in the way that sinners take or stand in the company of mockers. (NIV). But I think the Message version really drives the point home.
How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road,
   you don't go to Smart-Mouth College.(MSG)  Hmmmm, smart mouth college? Sounds like a synonym for sophomoric, doesn't it.

The interesting thing to me is that somehow people believe that posting these e-cards disconnects them from taking complete ownership of the words. This is exactly what our enemy wants. The devil absolutely wants you to disconnect your identity from your behaviors. The truth is exactly in opposition to this. This pervasive behavior is a passive aggressive form of communication, which has become a natural extension of social media. We are creating a generation that is unable to communicate and resolve conflicts face to face, and even worse does not take ownership of what they participate in within cyberspace.
I know this is a bit of a soap box that I have climbed onto. But it strikes a cord with me because I see so many "Christians" behaving like their non-believing counterparts. Our lives should be distinctly different. Otherwise, what is the point at all. Jesus put it this way. "But what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. It's from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, and cussing. That's what pollutes." What comes out of your mouth, is an overflow of what it is in your heart. Even if it is re-posted. Don't pollute your witness.

Channeling Elijah

From the title of my post, you might guess that recent circumstances have made me identify with this important biblical character. Lest you think that I am about to induct myself into the Hebrews Hall of Faith, let me immediately explain. I'm relating to his humanity.
Elijah was prophet of God raised up by God to speak his word to the Kings of Israel. There were many prophets during his time, but Elijah was unique for many reasons. He was called to stand for God during a time when an evil king, Ahab, and his very evil wife were in authority. Her name was Jezebel and she was always looking for a way to get at Elijah. She wanted to see him fail.
The story goes that there was a drought and severe famine in the land. Elijah challenged the pagan prophets (450 of them)  to call upon their God to burn up a sacrifice on the altar in an effort to end the drought/famine. The prophets of Baal did everything they could, but no answer. Then it was Elijah's turn. He built up the altar to the Lord, dug a trench around it and doused it with water three times. The trench filled with water. Next, in front of everyone watching, he called upon the LORD. " O Lord, answer me! Answer me so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God and that you have brought them back to yourself.” 1 Kings 18:37  What do you think happened next? God sent fire from heaven that burnt up the entire altar, even lapping up all the water in the trench. Could you imagine being a bystander to that? I'm sure that Elijah, although a man of immense faith, went through a myriad of emotions. If it were me, (and I'm being totally honest here) I would have gone from "God, please show up...to MY GOD not only shows up, but he kicks tail and takes names!"  After the showdown, Elijah tells his assistant to look toward the sea. Eventually he sees a tiny rain cloud, barely visible. This turns into a torrential downpour, ending the drought. Elijah, whose faith was now filled to the brim, was so filled with renewed strength that he ran ahead of Ahab's chariot all the way back home.
After all this, Jezebel hears of what has happened. She is infuriated with renewed vigor to destroy Elijah. Elijah flees. The bible tells us he is so discouraged that essentially he asks God to take his life. I always read this passage and wondered how he could feel that way after seeing God show up so big in his life. But now I think I understand.
I too feel like I have been walking by faith in a land where there are Jezebels who would love to see me fail. One of my biggest fears all this time has been that I would have a clinical situation or emergency that I couldn't handle alone. Well, of course it was just a matter of time until something would happen and it did. Last week I inherited a patient who experienced a massive postpartum hemorrhage. She originally intended to birth at home; had she been successful at that, she probably would have died. But as fate, would have it... or faith would have it... she came to the hospital and became my patient.  When it became apparent that her bleeding was life-threatening, I started praying..."God, please show up. Carry me. Lead me. Please don't let me fail you." To cut to the chase, it was quite a showdown in the OR. Ultimately, I had to take out her uterus to save her life and she received more blood products than we have ever given for a hemorrhage.  But she is alive and well and so is her baby. When it was done, I thanked God. I actually wept in praise during church the next morning. I knew my God was for me...so who can be against me? His love never fails.
The next week though, I felt exhausted. I was falling asleep every night before 8 pm. My mood was down. I realized what it was. I keep looking for the tiny rain cloud in the distance of God's provision/grace in my circumstances. But at the end of the day, my circumstances are still the same. At that moment, I remembered Elijah's story.  Maybe he felt down because at the end of the day, he was still feeling alone and nothing had happened to the Jezebels. I thought to myself, "What is wrong with you? You just saw God show up big in your life. He answered prayer. He provided. Why so down?"  I no longer felt any condemnation for how he felt; instead I related to his humanity. Greg and I are trying hard to hang on until God reveals his plan in its entirety. It's good to know that even the heroes in the Hebrews hall of faith were human at heart too.

Lessons from Boot Camp- Installment #2

I'm currently in my second round of boot camp. Most of the folks who were committed and made it all the way through round one have stuck with it and persevered for round two. Our instructor, Joe Thibodeau, created a new identity for the group...Thi Bod Fitness. New folks joined us for round two. As expected, some have already dropped out, but a few have kept at it and are seeing the benefits of discipline and camaraderie in fitness.
Fridays at 6am are an optional work-out time. Most weeks we are able to meet on the beach at Dune Allen and bust out a good workout before starting our last day of the work week. Depending on Joe's schedule, sometimes he is unable to make it. This morning was one of those mornings so he posted a work out on Facebook for those who wanted to set their alarms, head to the beach and stay on track.
Today only myself and one other friend showed up. Her name is Samantha 'aka', Sam. She is very fit and I was grateful she was there. Motivating each other, we made it through the whole work out, which was not an easy one, in record time. (We completed that which should have taken us an hour, in 45 minutes!) One of the cycles we were told to complete 5 times!...it was 20 split jump squats, 25 high knees (Sam's favorite) and 15 squat jumps w/pushup). Had I been alone, I probably would have quit at 3 cycles. But since we were together we did all five.
On my drive home, the Lord reminded me of a scripture.

Ecclesiates 4:9-10 Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other one can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

It was interesting that he brought this to my mind because it made me realize something about all things that we struggle with in life...it's always going to be easier if you are willing to share it with someone else. When things are hard, especially if we are not proud of the struggle, we are tempted to keep it private. The problem with that is that if you fall down in your attempts to deal with it, there is no one to help you back up. The Enemy wants you to keep it private so that you will either feel isolated which leads to discouragement or harbor it as a secret sin. As Christians, it is imperative to have accountability. I was always told this person needs to be someone other than your spouse. We each need a close friend who we can safely share our struggles with who will hold us accountable to God's word, not judge us for our individual weakness, but encourage us to let God deal with us in those areas that need strengthening. It was interesting that this boot camp illustration came to me this morning because a friend and I were having a dialogue about some personal life struggles at the very same time. I realized it is no different than doing boot camp with Sam this morning...two are better than one.

The Emerald Coast MUDRUN for Orphans

Yesterday was the Mud Run for Orphans. It was the first annual event here locally and was a huge success with over 1500 signed up to participate. The event benefits Heart of the Bride, a local ministry, supportive of orphanages particularly in Africa.
Since Cameron and I have now started our second round of Boot Camp we both felt well prepared to participate. The only obstacle that seemed daunting to me was the monkey bars. I know.....the monkey bars? The issue is that in the past I never had much upper body strength. I have always participated in sports that mostly required lower body agility (soccer, running, dance). However, Boot Camp has really helped with this and now I can whip out some serious push-ups with the best of them. Monkey bars or pullups are hard for most females, so I began training as soon as I signed up for the race. I started with hanging from a pull up bar as long as I could, gradually lasting longer. I actually only made it across them for the first time about 2 weeks ago. That's when God whispered in my ear.
I was sitting in church and thinking about the race and particularly those darn monkey bars and the Holy Spirit brought to mind the scripture, 2nd Corinthians 3:28:

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

 I know it sounds a little kooky, but the Lord placed that scripture in front of the monkey bars and told me to think about them that way. Each wrung is like moving with the Lord from glory to glory. Although it can be hard, our job is just to hang on. Such a word for my life situation right now! This led to God basically suggesting that I do the same for each of the obstacles in the race. And so I did; I chose a scripture for each obstacle on the course map.

It was amazing to watch the Lord clear my path prior to the race. So many times I have watched his hand in the timing of deliveries and patient's care, and this time was no different. Any patient who could have presented during that time and potentially made it impossible to complete the task, delivered in advance or was admitted to another hospital. Everyone else stayed conveniently pregnant. The take home message is this...when the Lord wants you to accomplish his will, he will either 1) remove the obstacles completely or 2) give you the tools to demolish them. 

As Cameron and I ran the race together, we stopped briefly and read the appropriate scriptures through panted breaths. I had them printed with small font in a sandwich bag in my pants. My goal was affirm that no obstacle is too big when we put God and his word in front of it. I wanted to imprint this in Cameron's heart along with a visual reminder for him of each scripture when he needs them later in life. It was powerful and emotional as we crossed the finish line hand in hand. Oh, and in case you are wondering....I killed the monkey bars! 

Made it across the first time no problem, thanking the Lord the whole time!

Here are the scriptures we read for each obstacle:

MUD CRAWL – Psalm 36:9-11

How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings, To eat our fill at the banquet you spread as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water. You're a fountain of cascading light, and you open our eyes to light. Keep on loving your friends; do your work in welcoming hearts. Don't let the bullies kick me around, the moral midgets slap me down. Send the upstarts sprawling flat on their faces in the mud.

WATER HAUL- Matthew 11:30

“Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

HURDLES- Romans 16: 16-18

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.” (They will try to trip you up!)

HAYSTACK HILL- Luke 22:31

"Simon, stay on your toes. Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from me, like chaff from wheat. Simon, I've prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out. When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start."

WATER SLIDE- Proverbs 25:26

“Like a muddied spring or a polluted well are the righteous who give way to the wicked.”

UPHILL MUD TUNNELS- 2^nd Thess 2:15-17

So, friends, take a firm stand, feet on the ground and head high. Keep a tight grip on what you were taught, whether in personal conversation or by our letter. May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your speech.

RICE TOTE- Matthew 23:5-7

You won't go wrong in following their teachings on Moses. But be careful about following them. They talk a good line, but they don't live it. They don't take it into their hearts and live it out in their behavior. It's all spit-and-polish veneer. Instead of giving you God's Law as food and drink by which you can banquet on God, they package it in bundles of rules, loading you down like pack animals. They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn't think of lifting a finger to help.

 TIRE JUMP- Isaiah 26:7

“But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them.”

 MONKEY BARS- 2^nd Corinth 3:28

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 

MUD MOUNTAINS- Matthew 17:20

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

MUD PIT- Psalm 40:2

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place” This was the verse on our shirts that I had made for Cameron and I. Our team name was 'MudfortheSon'.

Today at church the message was on A Story called Life. Each of us has a story to tell and as the plot thickens in that story, there will be obstacles to overcome. Pastor Wayne told us that every Christian will at times have to decide if God really is bigger than what we see in our path...if he really is the "Great I AM". When our spirit lines up with our heart and our head that he really is , that is true worship. And at that moment, Pastor Wayne repeated the same scripture that God has initially whispered in my heart; He will take us from glory to glory if we just remember to trust him. (Coincidence? I think not)  Immediately, I burst into tears because the whole experience had come full circle. God is real. He is bigger than our obstacles. If he can overcome the grave, then he has the power to take us from glory to glory despite any current circumstance. All we have to do is believe, trust, and hang on for dear life. Just like those blessed monkey bars!

Our God's Not Dead

Most of the time I use my blog to share some insights God has given me regarding circumstances that I am dealing with in life. So in many ways, my blog is my prayer journal. It has been rewarding to go back and read my entries. This is why most Christians are encouraged to keep a journal...so you don't forget that you serve a God who really listens, really cares, and really answers prayers.
Yesterday morning I woke up and remembered a pretty vivid dream that I had the night before. It actually was pretty scary and I felt the emotions of fear, trembling, and anxiety that I had experienced in my dream. What followed my awakening is what got my attention, so I wanted to record it here.  It went something like this:
I was out in the countryside. It was becoming dark...almost dusk. I saw a farmhouse in the distance. To get there I needed to cross a big field that was more like a fallow crop field. I was worried that it was getting dark and I wouldn't make it before it got dark outside. In the distance I saw what looked like a coyote or wolf so I started running across the field to get to the house. Before I could get there, it became pitch dark and what appeared as one creature now became a pack of wolves. There were too many to count. I started screaming and yelling...thinking that if I imitate a creature bigger than myself they might be intimidated. However, every time I turned around one came at me from another direction snarling and gnashing its teeth. I was terrified. Eventually, somehow I made it inside the house. From inside I watched the wolves attack a deer and tear it to bits. But out of no where came a large lion...a large male lion... who roared and then ripped those wolves apart with one attempt. I was scared, but I knew I was safe inside the house. I wondered where that lion had come from...but thought, thank God he is here and I am safe inside. I woke up to the alarm.
After waking, I started my usual morning routine. I stumbled to the kitchen, started up the coffee, put in my contacts and made my breakfast. I had remembered the dream, but not all the components. I mostly remembered the wolves and my fear. My usual routine, once my breakfast is made, is to sit down with my coffee and read my daily bible reading on One-Year-Bible-Online. This year I am reading through the message and each day's reading has an old test/new test/psalms/proverbs selection. This was part of what I read :
Luke 10:
Lambs in a Wolf Pack
 ^1-2Later the Master selected seventy and sent them ahead of him in pairs to every town and place where he intended to go. He gave them this charge:    "What a huge harvest! And how few the harvest hands. So on your knees; ask the God of the Harvest to send harvest hands.
 ³"On your way! But be careful—this is hazardous work. You're like lambs in a wolf pack. 

Psalm 74:
You walked off and left us, and never looked back. God, how could you do that?
   We're your very own sheep.....
Mark and remember, God, all the enemy
      taunts, each idiot desecration.
   Don't throw your lambs to the wolves;
      after all we've been through, don't forget us.
   Remember your promises;
      the city is in darkness, the countryside violent. 
 Don't leave the victims to rot in the street;
      make them a choir that sings your praises.

 ^22-23 On your feet, O God—
      stand up for yourself!
   Do you hear what they're saying about you,
      all the vile obscenities?
   Don't tune out their malicious filth,
      the brawling invective that never lets up.

Coincidence? You decide. But when I told my family, we decided my dream was a vision from God. He wants us to know that He is real, He is alive, and He is our security. Why do I say this? Because right now my family is facing some pretty mean looking wolves who are threatening to devour us. They are trying to threaten our faith because they are challenging all the things that in this life we want to have security in...our finances, our health, our ability to provide for ourselves. I think God was telling me that any attempts that I have done to make myself seem "bigger" than my fears, are just a facade. My real security comes from the fact that I can run into the house of the Lord and then and only then will he arrive just in time to fight my battles for me. I think he wanted us to know that right before the darkest hour, he is going to show up. We need to know that. God, please show up.
My dream reminded me of a popular song right now by Newsboys, "Our God's Not Dead". The lyrics repeat:
Our gods not dead he's surely alive
He's living on the inside roaring like a lion
He's roaring he's roaring he's roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide
When faith is dead I need a resurrection
Some how
And I'm lost in your freedom
And this world I've overcome

By gods not dead he is surely alive
He is living on the inside roaring like a lion
Our gods not dead he is surely alive
He's living on the inside roaring like a lion

He's roaring he is roaring he's roaring like a lion
He's roaring he is roaring he's roaring like a lion

Look For the Fruit

This past week was hard. I found out that someone close to me had been deceiving me for quite some time. The deception was really not that surprising; but, the depths to which this person has fallen was quite a disappointment. Furthermore, I have expended a lot of time and energy pouring myself into her trying to impact her life for Christ. When you do that, you can't help but take it personally. But that is exactly what God wants. God makes it pretty clear. If you love him, then you have to love people. You can't separate the two; he wants you to feel it.
When I say that I wasn't surprised by the turn of events, it's because I have been watching her behavior for quite some time. This individual, who claimed to know Christ, continually was making decisions that were not compatible with her "belief" system. I've discovered that Satan uses this tool quite often to tarnish the Bride of Christ/the Church. Our lives as believers should be different than those of non-believers. Otherwise, what good is our faith?  There seems to be nothing more damaging than a Christian who is not genuine or appears to be insincere. This spurned quite a few discussions about how one can really know if someone is a true believer or not. Not coincidentally, I am still working on my James bible study. James is straight to the point about this one. He tells us that to the extent you live it, is the extent you believe it. No matter what you confess with your mouth, if your behavior (works) don't back it up, then you probably don't really believe it with your heart either.
I started really thinking about this and had a revelation about why God might tell us as his children what our number one priority should be. Three times the bible tells us what the greatest commandment is for those of us who are believers. (Deut 6:5, Mark 12:30,Luke 10:27)
"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. ³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” -Mark 12:28-30

1. Love with all your HEART: The heart is the seat of our emotions. It drives our passions and our expressions of those passions. I think when someone accepts Christ as their "Savior", it is a heart decision. Apparently 85% of people believe in some type of after-life. Unfortunately, most people think that if their good deeds outweigh their bad, that somehow that will provide some type of security for their eternity. The truth is, there is nothing we can DO that guarantees us salvation. It's what Christ did that provides that. Realizing that someone died for you, even before you acknowledged him, evokes emotion. Coming to the realization that you need him to save you from yourself, is a heart decision. Unfortunately, the world is constantly seeking to control your passions and it is possible for love to grow cold.

2. Love with all your MIND:  The mind is the seat of our intellect, the ability to reason. The entire message of the Gospel is about repentance. Jesus did not preach about changing our hearts, but rather about changing our minds. (Do not conform to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. Rom 12:2), (Set your minds on things above, not earthly things. Col 3:2) Loving God with all your mind is about making Jesus your Lord, not just your Savior.  Unless your mind is under God's authority, your intellect will eventually attempt to talk you out his lordship over your life. The heart feels it, but the mind seals it. When Jesus is Lord in your life, you will do what he asks of you whether you 'feel' like it or not. Jesus provided us with a very powerful parable about two types of believers in Matthew 21: 28-31. I  think this parable has settled this issue for me. It is possible to be believer in Christ ( by making him your Savior on emotional level), but never submit to his Lordship. This explains the son in the parable who said the right words, but didn't follow them up with deeds of obedience. No where does God tell us it is okay to love him only with our hearts. In fact, quite the opposite. "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." Matt 7:21.

3. Love with all your STRENGTH: Our strength represents our natural abilities,gifts, and talents.  When God gives us instructions, there is an order to how he does it. It is deliberate. It was meant to flow from the heart, to the mind and then to the body.  Hebrews 8:10 puts it this way:
 This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel
   after that time, declares the Lord.
I will put my laws in their minds
   and write them on their hearts.
I will be their God,
   and they will be my people.
The fact is that as the church, we are the body of Christ here on Earth. Once you have accepted him as your Savior, you are part of that church. Setting your mind on obedience to his laws, whether you feel it or not, is part of loving him back for what he has done for you. It is making him Lord, and Savior. God knows that once you have done those two things, then and only then will your behavior will change. This is the only way we can be the church God has called us to be. As believers, we are each given gifts meant to be expressed for the Kingdom. The bible calls this fruit. Sure it is certainly possible to be generous, loving, hospitable, or encouraging apart from Christ. But these are the leaves on the tree, not the life giving fruitful harvest a hungry world is looking for.  None of these deeds are fruitful unless He is the motivation for it; our walk has to equal our talk. This only will happen when as believers we submit not just our hearts, but our minds and our talents to Jesus. The bottom line is this; how do you know if someone loves Jesus with all their heart, mind, and strength?
"Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." Matt 7:20 If you don't see any fruit, proceed with extreme caution, especially in relationships that involve intimacy or trust. Certainly it is possible for each of us to have areas of our lives that need some pruning work. I am thinking God used this example with my 'friend' to show me an extreme case and to make me mindful how he is constantly at work to bring us under his lordship in the areas of our lives that need it most.

Lessons from Boot Camp: Installment #1

One of my instructors at the gym is training for a competition. She encouraged the rest of us to join her during the preceding four months to get at fit as we possibly could. The ultimate goal would be losing pounds, particularly body fat percentages, and gaining both strength and muscle. Her husband, Joe, kindly offered to start teaching boot camps during this time to help us towards our goals. The challenge started back in December and will continue until April so we are more than half way through. To motivate us further we gave our group an identity and named the challenge, "Operation Bikini"; our goal is be the best we can be by swimsuit season. So far, I have lost 10 pounds and >3% body fat.

My church is just finished a sermon series called "Hallmark: When you Care to Live Your Very Best." The inspiration for the series came from Psalm 24:
Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD?
   Who may stand in his holy place?
The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
   who does not trust in an idol
   or swear by a false god.
This series challenged us to examine our hearts in some key areas so that we can live our very best for God. We looked at having hearts that draw God's attention. We examined what scripture says about living without offense, without stubbornness, with a sense of urgency and finally today being fully alive by dealing with un-forgiveness. Our goal has been to cleanse our hearts of anything that is holding us back from our best so we can ascend to what God has in store for us; the series will be capped off by a night of worship aptly entitled "Ascend." I will be singing with the choir.
 You are probably wondering where I am going with this. Back to boot camp. When we first began the challenge, the group was quite large. Many people joined with good intentions. The fact of the matter is that boot camp is hard work....just like life. Some of what we are asked to do, both physically, and spiritually is not fun. Right from the beginning there were folks who would say "I Can't do that" without even trying it yet. They spoke defeat into their circumstance and sure enough they couldn't achieve it.God reminded me what I already knew in church today. Our words have power; giving them breath means giving them life. Negative thoughts that are then put into audible words will affect your future. The truth is, that they actually counteract what God is trying to accomplish in your life.

• "It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation."Matt 12:37 MSG
• " Don't bad-mouth your leaders, not even under your breath,
     And don't abuse your betters, even in the privacy of your home.
     Loose talk has a way of getting picked up and spread around.
     Little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide" Eccles 10:20 MSG

I realized today that part of what might be causing me to 'wait on God' in my circumstances to accomplish his desired end in my struggles is....me. I am working against what he wants to accomplish with my words; the bible clearly says that even conversations that Greg and I have in privacy of our home can affect my success. Not unlike boot camp, what I speak over my circumstances, has a huge impact. This is sometimes harder than it appears. So as Beth Moore says, FAKE IT UNTIL YOU FEEL IT! If you can't find positive words in your heart, then speak scripture (God's words) over your situation. Eventually the feelings with follow as you get stronger than you  thought you could be. It's kind like when we would run at boot camp and say, "skinny jeans" through pants of breath.
Greg and I had a great conversation after church. We have made a commitment not to complain, speak negatively, or curse our circumstances or the people involved in causing it, even in the privacy of our own home. I may still have to wait on the Lord to change my circumstances, but I certainly don't want the hold up to be me. Amen.

Wasted Talent: Reflections on a Recent Death

This week a very well known celebrity, Whitney Houston, died. Presumably the cause was a lethal mixture of alcohol and drugs. Her death produced a lot of public response because she possessed enormous musical singing talent. One could legitimately say she had one of the most talented voices in this generation; I remember listening to her albums as a young adult and many of her songs elicited quite an emotional response from the listener. My favorite might possibly be, "I Will Always Love You" from "The Bodyguard."; chokes me up every time. Whitney first learned how to sing in church. Her mother, Cissy Houston is an accomplished gospel music talent. To many observers there is irony in the fact that the night before Whitney died, she is recorded singing "Yes, Jesus loves me." on stage appearing quite intoxicated. Such a vocal talent, tragically wasted; a unique gift that was snuffed out by the slavery of addiction. it begs asking some questions. Somehow she grew up singing about Jesus, but yet her life ended the way it did. How did this happen?  I think this is why her death evokes something in us. It is supposed to.
I'm currently doing the Beth Moore bible study on the book of James called "Mercy Triumphs." The book of James is not for those interested in reading Bible-lite; it is not a book with those 'feel good' verses we love to claim. Rather, James plans to get in your business from the very first line. The basic premise of James is: To the extent you live it, is the extent you believe it. Yes, James believes in God's grace and the power of forgiveness of sin. However, James makes it perfectly clear that once God has shown you the available freedom in his word, if we don't live it out , it is because we don't believe it in our heart. When I really think about it, I have to admit he is right. James puts it like this:
"But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." James 1:22-25
In this passage James tells us it is possible to be a 'forgetful listener'. The example of Whitney Houston might be an extreme one, but the truth is we are all capable of this.  It is possible to look intently into the word of God, even be deeply moved by it (like hearing one of Whitney's songs), and yet walk away and never put it into application. It is possible to be a saved Christian but still live a life in bondage because we never believed what the word said applied to us nor that it had the power to change us. In my bible study Beth tells us the Greek word used for "look intently" in this passage actually means to bend down/stoop and peer intently into something.

 It reminded me of the scene from Lion King where Simba looks at his reflection in the pond. Rafiki tells Simba to look into his reflection and there he sees who he was really meant to be...a reflection of the king, his Father. (Mufasa). This is no different for you or I. When we look intently into God's word, God will show you....you. The you who you are now and the you that you are supposed to be...a reflection of the King of Kings, Jesus. "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2Corinth 3:17-18
Every person was placed here by God for a reason. Each of us has a gift/talent that is meant to be expressed. Whitney's gift was singing capable of evoking/expressing emotion. What is yours? What is mine? One could argue her gift was meant for worship; the enemy certainly has a motive to snuff that out. The tragedy of her life, a gift wasted, is also one we should all learn from. Each of us is deposited with a gift; but that gift is meant to be expressed to show the glory of God. The bible calls this our "fruit". It is very clear. We are supposed to be known by our fruit, not our talents.  As humans, we are fallible. We make mistakes; we make bad choices. If God is the potter and we are the clay, we are some cracked pots for sure. But if God has placed his light in us, it's only through those cracks that the light is visible to others. Don't waste your gift because of your struggles. Look intently into God's word and let him change you from the inside out; this is where true freedom is found.
"Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.  If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us." 2Corin 4:6-8