Living Proof 2011

Lauren, Lisa & I at Beth Moore on the screen!

This weekend was my first weekend "off" in 9 months. Of course, I don't literally work 24/7 but I am potentially on call that amount of time and there is quite a difference in your state of mind when you KNOW the phone won't ring for you to come running. You might say my work situation has held me 'captive', in that I have to be within a certain radius of the hospital at all times. Like a pet on a chain in the yard, I can literally go only as far as that radius will allow me. The conscious choice over the last few months has been whether to strain with my eyes beyond that radius, which in essence can literally choke the life out of you...or be content within my captivity and the boundaries I am given. I've tried really hard to do the latter.
However, this past weekend I got to go all the way to Pensacola and Crestview. First, I went with my dear friends to see Beth Moore and Living Proof Live at the Pensacola Civic center. Afterward, I went up to Crestview to watch the Christmas parade that my children marched in. However, this freedom came with a cost. I had to pay another physician to cover me and that coverage was not cheap. I really struggled before going whether I should even spend the dollars. In fact, I asked God not to allow it all to come together if that was not his will. But, it seemed that it was and he did not fail to speak to me on many levels, which is probably why I went.
Beth taught on the book of Philemon. This book is a personal letter from the apostle Paul to his friend and brother in Christ, Philemon. It is regarding Onesimus, who is believed to have been a slave belonging to Philemon who escaped. Further, he probably stole from Philemon in order to have the means to escape. In the course of his travels, Onesimus meets Paul who leads him to Christ. Paul wants Philemon to take him back without repercussions and in fact, welcome him as a brother. A couple things spoke to me about Beth's lesson and my current situation. Two of which I'll explain here.
1. Slaves at that time who escaped would have at a minimum been beaten, but most likely killed. In fact, Roman law at the time said they could be crucified. Hebrew law stated that if a servant was set free, "but if the servant declares 'I love my master and my family and do not want to go free' then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life."Why would Paul send him back? For the ministry of reconciliation (2nd Corinth 5).
In my flesh, I didn't want to come back to my captivity. In fact, I even shed a few tears about it. But in my spirit I know there is no safer place than under the authority of my master and king, Jesus Christ. I love him. So I willingly submit to his authority, which has placed me in this call situation for my own good. I'm not a slave to my circumstances, I am a bondslave to Christ Jesus. His yoke with never choke you...it is actually easy to wear. Something tells me that I too will be called to the same ministry as Philemon in my circumstances.
2. My freedom came with a price. Yes, I did have to pay for my weekend excursions. But Jesus paid a much higher price on the Cross for me to have freedom and joy, despite my circumstances, and ultimately all of this is for that purpose. Paul wrote to Philemon, "PERHAPS, the reason he (Onesimus) was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good - no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother." v15-16.
PERHAPS, this whole situation I am in is to bring others to Christ. Perhaps, there are folks very close to me watching how I deal with a very difficult situation. Perhaps, my choices will serve to illuminate this Christmas season why God sent his son to Earth in the first place. If one person came to Christ because of your circumstances, would it make it worth it? The answer should be yes. Ironically, my last 9 months correlates exactly to the time required to bring forth a new human life. I have several people who work directly for me that I am praying will one day accept Christ. Perhaps...
I'll still processing everything God spoke to my heart this weekend. It certainly was nice to get away and spend time with my girlfriends and family. Thank you, God.