I've spent a lot of time thinking about this past year. How could I not, right? When you experience a major life upheaval that points you in a completely new direction, for most people, it is accompanied by some introspection.
I spend a lot of time now driving in my car. The truth is I am not fully transitioned to my new home (which is under construction) so I am in this weird limbo between the old and new. And most days that involves about an hour-long commute. So, I recently decided to begin listening to faith-based podcasts during my drive. It is an hour of solitude, in my car, where I can listen to God's word and engage in contemplative prayer. I listened to one by Jamie Winship where he spoke a lot about fear, which is what drew me in. He said he always goes into every situation or decision asking God two simple questions: 1. What do you want me to know? 2. What do you want me to do? (With that knowledge) If you look at scripture, God rarely answers the "why" questions. (Just ask Job!) But he will always answer with what He wants you to know about Himself in your circumstances because God prioritizes relationship.
Keeping that in the forefront, I was listening to another podcast where two women who work together were conversing and the one asked the other, "What can I do for you? How can I pray for you?" And the other responded, "You don't have to do anything, you are with me every day. You are WITH me. You do life with me. That's all the support I need." And in that moment. it hit me like a ton of bricks. The Holy Spirit whispered. "This is what I need you to know: I am WITH you. That is all you need."
Being WITH someone means you do life together. When you go through something really tough, it can make all the difference just having the support of someone who intimately understands by your side. Healthy biblical marriage is a wonderful picture of this; you do life together, for better or worse. Often when people experience the deepest pains of life, they just need someone to sit with them in it. No words. Just presence. In the scriptures, this is called ABIDING. Jesus spoke about how we should do life (good and bad) with him in John Chapter 15.
Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Why is knowing that God is WITH you or abiding in Jesus so important? Because knowing it will fundamentally define your identity. Quite simply put, you are a branch. And your identity informs what you do (your fruit). Good trees produce good fruit. Bad trees produce bad fruit. As humans, we spend a lot of time focused on the fruit. The bible even tells us to, right? "A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." (Matthew 7:18-20) You recognize followers of Jesus by their fruit. But only focusing on the fruit can be problematic and misleading. God knows that.
Of course, I have known for a long time that God is with me. But the question is, had I incorporated that into my identity? Did I let that inform my vocation, my behavior, and my choices? The truthful answer is... sometimes. And sometimes doesn't produce consistent fruit. God is always more interested in who you are becoming than what you are doing. Being informs doing. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you don't have to react out of fear. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you can have peace in difficult circumstances. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you can engage others in love without fear of rejection. When you know Jesus is WITH you, you don't seek validation or meaning elsewhere like social media, followers, or friends. Let's be honest, isn't that why we go to social media or the world for validation? Because we want to be seen and feel like someone is doing life along with us. "Do it for the gram" if misaligned in your heart is a cheap and lonely substitute for the One who really knows you and gives your worth. Knowing that Jesus is literally WITH you is the only way you can truly walk in all that God has for you. This knowledge making its way from your head to your heart in our minute-by-minute decisions is called maturing in discipleship. Apart from Him, we produce nothing with eternal significance. Moses knew this. The disciples knew this.
In Exodus 33, the Israelites had just left Egypt on their way to the promised land. Like me, they were in limbo between the old and the new. But despite everything the Lord did through miracles to show them He was with them, they complained, doubted, and faltered. Therefore, the Lord decided he should not go with them. Moses, who talked with the Lord face to face, met with God. He knew that if the Lord was not WITH them, it was futile. "If your presence is not with us, do not send us up from here."
In John 6, Jesus spoke to some of the challenging parts of doing life with him. It was "a hard teaching." and the word says after it "many of the disciples turned back and no longer followed him." But when he asked the twelve disciples if they wanted to leave too, Peter replied, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life." Peter knew that life WITH Jesus was always the better choice than trying to do life without him, even when it is difficult.
So many of the things the Lord did for me during my past year I believe were to simply remind me that He was WITH me in it all. There were so many things, I actually started keeping a log. I had multiple prophetic dreams. I saw things in nature at key times with biblical significance. I had key events that happened with biblical numerical significance. I was led to read scriptures that would have particular significance on particular days. But the biggest things were simply evidences of His love and grace: He showed me favor and rescued me in my circumstances when I didn't earn it or deserve it. That is who he is. And so, that is the fruit He produces. He showed all of us that by sending his son Jesus Christ to Earth to reconcile us to Himself. Not to condemn the world, but to save it. (John 3:16-17.)
Don't underestimate the power of WITH-ness. It informs your identity. Jesus was our model for this too. Before he began his ministry or vocation, God confirmed his identity. "As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” It was right after this event that Jesus formally began his ministry or vocation as "messiah".
And this leads to the reason I believe why the Spirit really wanted me to understand that the Lord is WITH me. The past year was an attack from the enemy focused primarily on my identity. Without knowing that the Lord was absolutely with me in all the circumstances, I may not have stood firm. I am a child of God and with me he is pleased. Not because of anything that I do, but because I have placed my faith in his son Jesus Christ. That is what defines me and everything else should flow from that place of rest. Again, that knowledge is called discipleship. Therefore, it is a lifelong work in progress. God definitely has something for me in my new town. And if that is where He led me, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else without him. Most importantly, God brought me there because of who I am becoming through trusting Him in all of this.
During this Advent, let me encourage you to meditate on the WITH-ness of God. What would you do differently if you knew He was right there with you in both the highs and the lows? I'd be willing to bet you would be less afraid, feel more loved, and be less anxious. In other words, you would have peace. I'm here to tell you that Peace is a Person, and his name is Jesus. The best news is He is with you and already knows all the details of your life. He cares intimately. Emmanual... God WITH us. God WITH me and you. Doing life together. Merry Christmas!