Bad Posture: When You Don't Understand Grace

I had something happen in my office the other day that has never to my knowledge happened before. At the time it was very unsettling. But now that I have really pondered it, my heart is really troubled for something like this to happen just a few short days after Christmas.

A young pregnant woman was seated in my lobby. Apparently she was nodding off in the chair. From her appearance, one might make certain assumptions about her character or the reason she was overly lethargic.  Another young woman filmed her nodding off on her cell phone and then posted the video on social media accompanied with derogatory commentary. A mutual acquaintance saw it and immediately informed the first individual who came back into the office in tears. She was distraught and overcome with shame because she felt the weight of judgement.  I pulled the young lady who posted the film aside and explained this was a violation of privacy, and that all of our patients are given the same level of respect and courtesy. I kindly asked her not to do things like this again in our office. Her response was to immediately fill out transfer paperwork to see a different doctor.

It reminded me of Jesus with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. A bunch of accusers bring the woman to Jesus with the intention of stoning her and tricking Jesus. But Jesus bent down and started writing on the sand with his finger.  When they kept on questioning him he stood up and said to them, "Let any of you who is without sin cast the first stone at her." Then he stooped back down and wrote on the ground. This is a familiar bible story, but what I want to highlight in the narrative is Jesus' posture.


The word grace comes from a root word that means stooping down from a position of royalty.
Grace is God's unmerited favor. It is the complete opposite of karma, which is getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don't deserve and not getting what you do deserve. The bible tells us we are all sinners and the price to be paid for that debt is death. Jesus condescended himself to Earth so that we might be saved from this rightful penalty. Christmas is to remind us this is purely a gift. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:9)  The ground at the foot of the cross is level. You won't be able to stand there and compare yourself to others hoping that your good outweighing your bad will save you. The only thing that saves is personal acceptance of the work of Jesus Christ on the cross as his overwhelming gift of grace to redeem you from your sins. Once you do, and comprehend the magnitude of what it took to accomplish this, a heart change automatically occurs where your only response is to show that same grace to others. Once you understand the grace that has been shown to you, you will look to extend it. Instead of looking at others with disappointment, you will see an opportunity for compassion.  This is easier to do when you meet people face to face on their level.

 When the woman is brought to him, Jesus stoops down to the ground. His posture is grace.

 Her accusers want to shame and kill her. We may not have this as a form of judgement in our American society but social media and gossip can be just as damaging. Casting a stone publicly and asking others to join in shows a complete lack of understanding for God's grace. But when the others continue to chime in, Jesus stands up. Now his posture is judgement; not towards the woman but towards her accusers. Does this mean the woman was innocent? No, not at all. But as scripture tells us, "a broken and contrite heart you will not despise." And when that is our posture, God will always choose mercy. "Because mercy triumphs over judgment."(James 2:13)
Many people speculate what Jesus was writing in the sand. Some people suggest maybe the less 'visible' sins of her accusers. As each one read the words in the sand, they walked away... one by one. The posture of Jesus is important here. Grace flows to each of us from the understanding first that you don't deserve it; none of us do. It starts with asking for help and knowing that you need it. You can't save yourself; you need a Savior.   When all her accusers are gone, Jesus again stooped down to the woman.

I am realizing following Jesus isn't just a walk. It is also a cadence and a posture. That is why I 'stood up' and confronted the woman who shamed my other patient. Truthfully, in that moment, I understood that she herself didn't comprehend grace, which actually made me sad for both ladies. But in the end, I will strive for my  posture as a Christian and a physician to be the same as Jesus when people asked him why he associated with "sinners and tax collectors (people of ill repute)"  On hearing this Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but the sick."( Mark 2) And we do that with a posture of grace.

No Swipe November: Could we make it a thing?

The thing I always thought I was meant to "do for Christ" was to write. I got this notion because I had learned over time that my spiritual giftings were in teaching and prophecy. I've had multiple confirmations from the Lord that writing was an outlet for those gifts. To date, I've written two books, quite a few published articles, and started this blog all to "fan my gift into flame." (2nd Tim 1:6) One year ago I published a blog about Hurricane Michael that became the most widely read thing I had ever written. That blog post currently has over 5100 views and the blog itself was published in a local newspaper with a distribution of over 15,000 copies. By the world's standards, pretty successful, right?
But Hurricane Michael had more impact on my 'spirituality' than just a successful blog post. It started a cascade that led to ever increasing 'successes'...by the world's standards. Immediately after the hurricane, I reached out to Panama City patients who were expecting. The response was enormous and that month of October 2018 I delivered more babies  than I had delivered in any one month in my entire career. The impact was a ripple effect felt in my practice throughout the holidays. Going into 2019, two local ob/gyns who practice at the same hospital as me suddenly left. Again the impact was a boost to my practice with more patients and bigger numbers. People would repeatedly say to me, "I don't know how you do it, you're so busy!" But something in my spirit cringed every time I heard that. (and still does!)  "Busy" became a word that didn't feel comfortable.  It wasn't that I had more than I felt like I could handle; the Lord has always been faithful to provide me rest when needed.  Like giant storm waves hitting the shore, busyness was changing the cadence and rhythm of my spiritual life. I could feel it affecting my soul.  "Sin and busyness have the same effect - they cut off our connection to God, to other people, and even to our own soul." (Ann Voskamp)  As Corrie Ten Boom once said, "If the devil can't make you sin, he'll make you busy."

God started talking to me about the cadence of my spiritual walk and how He measures success. Over and over I kept hearing the Holy Spirit say to start being faithful with what you have right in front of you. Be boring. Seek the mundane. Stop running to do great things that have a finish line. Instead go at a pace that can be interrupted. Be responsive to the moment right in front of you.  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8) I heard a message on the parable of the talents. (Matthew 25) The servants with 5 and 2 talents respectively used what God had given them "each according to his ability"; they each doubled what the master gave them. When it came time to settle up, they are called two things: good and faithful. These are the metrics God uses define success for the talent we are given...GOOD and FAITHFUL. Not by likes, followers, or dollars. I was forced to ask myself then, am I prioritizing being faithful? Being faithful is long obedience in the same direction. It is a bunch of consistent small actions of love that look like Christ. Why is this important? Because God is less concerned with us doing something for Christ than He is us becoming more like Christ. God made it abundantly clear that my daily and increasing interactions with people are what He is most concerned with; how am I stewarding them?Maybe, just maybe, God prefers me to use teaching and prophecy there in the four walls of exam rooms, hospital corridors, or talking to my neighbor.  Being good and faithful doesn't mean I have to travel across the globe or write a best selling bible study; it probably means I need to learn to love others well and be a better steward.

It should be completely obvious then why I was drawn to the latest book just published by Jefferson Bethke called "To Hell with the Hustle."  This book articulates so well what my soul has been feeling. It is packed with so much truth.  In it, Bethke talks about goals vs formations. God is far more interested in the latter. Formations are "who I am becoming through the practices I'm doing."  Our hustle culture that we currently live in is about exceeding limits. Just. Work. Harder. This message contradicts  both the message of the gospel and God's plan for our life. God works in the margin. Margin is "the space between our load and our limits. What we are currently carrying is our load, and our capacity to carry that load is our limit." Without margin, you become depleted, exhausted, and unavailable to do kingdom work when it presents itself. If I want to be formed (by my habits) into the likeness of Christ, I have to fight to maintain margin my life. We do this by creating space for God to work and speak to us. How? Observe the Sabbath. Spend time in silence. Read your bible. The world's voice (especially social media) is loud.  As Elijah learned, God's speaks in gentle whispers (1st Kings 19:12). If we immediately run to the world for all our affirmations and identity, God's voice will be not be heard. And even worse, Bethke illuminates that social media is curated to only show you what you want to hear and see. It is curated for you both politically and socially; it essentially reinforces your voice being the loudest one in your head. This is a dangerous place to be. As a result it drowns out empathy towards others because the focus is YOU. Why is empathy important? Because you can't love someone if you are all about the hustle. People are not tasks to check off our to do list in "acts of service".

I'm sure you have heard of "No shave November"? Well I am challenging myself and inviting you to "No Swipe November." From now until Thanksgiving I am putting down my phone and consciously limiting social media for these weeks; they say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. Here is my deliberate shift and change in cadence to create spiritual margin. Did you know that your phone tells you how much average screen time you spend each day? My average is 3 hours! How did that happen? That sounds like a great place to start with creating margin and faithful stewardship: less screen time.

His Glory is His Goodness

My church is in the middle of a sermon series about "The Ten Commandments." This might seem like elementary stuff. But going back to the basics of God's Word is fundamental in the life of every Christian. 
I admit, the Ten Commandments seems like a list of 'don'ts'; which is  a moniker for how the outside world views the Christ follower's life. For nonbelievers, our lives are a compiled list of harsh boundaries and things we 'won't do' in order to be righteous. The truth is the exact opposite. God's word isn't confining; it is by design to make you free. Freed from un-necessary pain, struggle, and shame. The psalmist in Psalm 31 put it this way:
….as for me, I trust in the Lord.
⁷ I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
    for you saw my affliction
    and knew the anguish of my soul.
⁸ You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
    but have set my feet in a spacious place.

When Cameron and Ben were little I used to tell them not to play in the street. It is not because I wanted to confine them. It is because I foresaw dangers they could not (like oncoming cars); my rules were to protect them, because I loved them.  The same is true for the ones God has laid out for us. God's word is for us, not against us. This has been one of the key themes as we look at each individual commandment; they point to God's goodness. 

But the second theme is really where my heart landed today. The Ten Commandments are also given to us to help live our lives to ultimately give God glory. "Giving God glory" is a phrase we use so often in church vernacular. I think when you hear something said so often you can easily let it become a colloquialism where you don't spend time really thinking about what it tangibly means. For me, "God's Glory" has always been a difficult concept to wrap my head around. If you asked people, you would probably hear several different words to describe what they think it is. For example, words like majesty, power, omniscience, or strength. And although these are all qualities of God, they are not the one He himself used to describe his Glory. What is someone's "glory"? It is the ONE thing they are most known for; it is something that secures praise or "renown". 

In Exodus 33 Moses was talking with God in the tent of meeting after the Lord has brought the Israelites out of Egypt. He wants to be assured that God will be with him as they go forward. 

Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

 And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." 

God's Glory is His Goodness. It is what He desires to be most known for. 

•  Psalm 103:8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious; slow to anger, abounding in love.
• Psalm 145:8 The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
• Joel 2:3 Return to the Lord for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love and He relents from sending calamity. 

He makes his goodness known to us through his word (the Bible) and the Word made flesh, Jesus Christ. (John 1:14). Hebrews 1:3 tells us "the Son is the radiance of God's glory, and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word." Want to see God's goodness (glory)? Look to Jesus. 

Now in light of this revelation. How does this relate to the Ten Commandments? What if every time we made a behavioral choice, even the tough ones, we asked ourselves if my decision will give God glory? In other words, does it point to the goodness of God? Just like Moses, this is how Christ followers distinguish themselves. They seek after God's presence and pursue his Glory; it is evident by the daily choices they make. The Holy Spirit recently challenged me on this new understood definition. I was dealing with some hurt feelings. I had felt snubbed and a bit rejected. In my flesh, this usually means distancing myself.  I told the Lord that the situation and people involved made me feel like I wasn't really chosen, but instead was a last desperate option. 

 And clear as day, He said to me..."How many times am I someone's last desperate option when they haven't chosen to live according to my laws?" And yet, the Lord is gracious, compassionate, and slow to anger. He is good. My decision on how to proceed became very clear. Choose love because that is what He always does. Because love always points to His goodness. 

Easter Reflections: What Is Your Cross?

If you define yourself as a Christ follower, then the Cross and all it symbolizes are central to your system of beliefs. It is both at the core of Christianity and what we celebrate at Easter: Jesus Christ, the one and only Son of God, came to Earth as a man to reconcile us to God. He died on a cross and rose back to life three days later as the perfect sacrifice and atonement for our sins. It was a free gift  that came at a great price. That is why we celebrate Easter. We recognize that our Savior is alive. Because of what He did, we too can defeat death and have eternal life with God.

But Jesus had this to say about the cross in Matthew 10:38, "If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine." Also in Matthew 16:24, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow me." These statements tell us there is more to being a true Christ follower than celebration. These statements point to a change of heart that indicate it may cost you something. To understand what Jesus meant by this, I believe we have to ask ourselves three basic questions.

The first question to ask is: What is a Cross? Quite frankly, at the time that Jesus walked the Earth, the cross was a method of execution. It was a form of capital punishment where the victim was nailed or tied to a wooden stake and left to hang, often for several days, until they died from exhaustion or asphyxiation. Due to the weight of the hanging body, in order to breathe, the victim had to push themselves up with their legs, which caused excruciating pain. Eventually fatigue set in and they could no longer do so, and they would asphyxiate.  Often the legs of the victim were broken to hasten their death. The cross was also meant to be humiliating; the purpose was to dissuade others from perpetrating similar acts. Typically the victim was made to carry the crossbeam to the place of execution which could easily weigh over 300 pounds. To magnify their shame, they were  stripped naked as they were nailed to the crossbeam. So to recount, the Cross had three aims: it was meant to kill, shame, and publicly discourage.

This leads us to our second question: What is your Cross? Jesus told us in no uncertain terms we would be asked at some point in our walk of faith to carry a cross. After better understanding what the cross signified for Jesus, I think the 'cross' for every believer is whatever life events have the potential to destroy you, cause the death of your dreams, shame you or steal your happiness. We know this because scripture tells us what the enemy of your soul aims for: "the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy." (John 10:10) For many people this is a stumbling block. Why would a good God allow bad things to happen to good people? But the truth is, that really only happened once (at Calvary)! None of us measure up when compared to Jesus. So the first purpose of your cross is bring you to the realization of what Jesus did  to reconcile us to God. It is your acceptance of this gift that leads to your own salvation. How you choose to deal with those life events, or your walk of faith, is what conforms you to look like Christ. God does not cause bad things to happen. But He will work through them for your good.  For most of my life, my cross has looked like rejection. When one of the biggest challenges in my adult life came, I chose to press into the Word of God like I had never done before. Oh, I had read my Bible before then, but I had never read it as if my life depended on it. I looked for the promises of God over my situation, and in the process he showed me just how faithful, loving and good He really is. Had I not replaced the fear, anxiety and lies with the word of God, I couldn't have walked out fully the calling God has for me. Many of us know the scripture from Romans 8:28 that tells us that God can cause everything to eventually work for our good. But the next scripture in verse 29 more importantly tells us why; "to become like his Son."  Your cross is meant to help you work out your own personal salvation. Ultimately God will not protect us from anything that will make us more like Jesus.

Lastly, this leads to our final question: What are you willing to carry to save others? Trust me when I say that when you are dealing with life's challenges, the world is definitely watching. Many of our struggles are personal, but in God's economy they always have the potential for a larger impact.
I think that is in part why Jesus says specifically, "pick up your cross." He did not say drag it behind you or complain and leave it on the side of the road. How you deal with the challenge and how you carry it matters greatly. What you do when you walk out your challenges broadcasts far more loudly what you believe (about God) more than anything you can say. I say this with all humility. Part of maturing in our faith involves getting better at this; and I've probably failed more times than I can count. But I have come to realize through my profession that difficult circumstances can bring others to Christ. My own testimony started when a patient who was about to potentially lose their child showed me a kindness I had never experienced; it led to me to accepting Christ.  Don't underestimate the ability of your difficulties to save others. Knowing this, what burden are you willing to carry to ensure salvation for others?

Elizabeth Elliot was the wife of a missionary killed by the very tribe he was attempting to minister to. After his death, Elizabeth went back and continued to work with that same tribe bringing many to salvation in Christ. Their story is chronicled in the movie, "End of the Spear." Elizabeth understood what Christ meant by suffering being part of our calling in order to save others when she said, "The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances."

This Easter let us reflect both on the magnificence of the saving that happened at the cross, but also the challenge that it presents to us who truly follow Christ. Just like at Calvary, life's challenges present a manifold of opportunities to display Christ. What was intended for harm, "God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20.
Happy Easter!

New Year's Day is About Choices

At the end of one year and the beginning of a new one is a time of reflection for most people. Life is ultimately about choices. What will I become? Where am I headed? What do I need to change? The start of a new year I think begs us to ask these questions because in our hearts it makes us feel like we have some semblance of control over the very thing we cannot control: the passage of time. I have seen a lot of discussion/posts on social media regarding choices for the New Year. Many of them resound with the theme of not taking anything into the new year, "that didn't serve you in the last." The problem with this way of thinking is that scripture tells us our hearts are deceptive, very easily led astray, and inclined to pride. What 'serves' me best, is probably not where my focus should be if I am seeking a healthy faith walk. As Christians, I think a better way is asking ourselves, "What in my life last year didn't serve God and his calling for me?"

In meditating more about this New Year's dilemma, the Lord led me to a passage of scripture in Leviticus. (I know, crazy choice for a New Year's mantra?!)  The passage talks about obedience to God's word and the subsequent rewards that follow in our lives.

"Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves, and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it. I am the Lord your God. Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the Lord.If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands....I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you. You will still be eating last year’s harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new." 

After reading it I had this thought: What if at the end of the year you were still so overwhelmed with God's blessings or favor, that you had to make room for new ones? Don't just think about this in worldly terms, such as financial or physical prosperity. Although God can certainly bring that too. Think about the blessings that flow from the fruit of a Spirit filled life: goodness, kindness, faithfulness, self-control, peace, love, and joy. That's the kind of New Year's inventory I want to take!  So how does that happen? The answer is through obedience that comes from reverence for God's word. As James 1:22 tells us, "Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." 

My Word Reminder for 2019

We are each given a certain measure of days on this Earth. At times one might not like the hand you've been dealt, but everyone has the power in the midst of any circumstance to choose how you will deal with it. Being able to choose wisely and in faith, is something that is divinely given. Proverbs 1:7 tells us that "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Wisdom is being able to see the outcome of a decision before it is made; only God has that ability. Why? Because He is the only one in the present and in the future at the same time.  It requires a unique discernment and judgement. To make the right choices, especially the ones that are going to provide the kind of blessings mentioned above, you need wisdom that only He can give. This is what led me to my word for 2019: REVEAL. The definition of the word reveal is "to make known through divine inspiration."

But here is the best news! Even though the real ability to make wise choices going into a new year only comes from God, He gives it away freely! James 1:5 tells us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
Looking back on 2018, I was reminded of my word for that year. It was Focus. Last year God asked me to look at things differently than I had in the past. My life was in transition; I needed a new perspective. The truth is this: how you look at things will change the things you look at. So to me, it naturally makes sense that the next year in 2019 with clearer focus, God works on revelation. I compare it to looking under a microscope. First you have to focus your eyes in the proper direction, and then through divine inspiration, God will adjust the lenses so that your eyes can see things that were once not visible. My part to play, is obedience through faith. I am believing that God is going to reveal both Himself and his wisdom for me, my children, and my husband as we move forward into 2019 in a big way.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for, and assurance in what we do not (yet) see. (Hebrews 11:1)
Happy New Year!