A Fishy Tale...Postcard from Ninevah- Part II

As promised, there is a second half to this whale of a tale. It is the second half of the tale of Jonah. It is the second half of my story within this nautical context. When recalling the bible story of Jonah, everyone remembers the fact that Jonah was in the belly of a whale and then got spit out onto the beach. You might think the whole story was about running away from God. I alluded in my first post, that we can all run away from God in our hearts even if our feet stay where they are planted. It would be pretty logical to conclude that something might have been going on in Jonah's heart that needed tending to when he refused to listen to God's instruction. More than just his dislike of Ninevah. More than just a desire to go his own way. This leads us to part 2.
In the last chapter of Jonah, the scene is that Jonah has proclaimed the fate of Ninevah to the city. God intends to destroy it. I'm sure Jonah thought to himself, "Now that's what I'm talking about! I think I'll grab me a chair, some snacks and get ready to watch the show." The problem became when the city and its king repented, fasted, and put on sackcloth to mourn their fate. They prayed to God for compassion. Jonah 3:10-4:1 "When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion on them, and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened. Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry." Hmmmm...I'm sensing a little divine attitude adjustment coming.
The fact it that God could have sent anyone to bring this message to the Ninevites, but the reality is that he chose Jonah. And I would like to propose he did it for Jonah's sake as well. Likewise, I believe that the situation I have been dealt in this season of life will ultimately be for my sake as well. As I mentioned in my first post, I am type A and I like to be in control. That would be called pride. Don't ever tell the Lord what you won't do, because you'll probably find yourself there. So here I am writing a postcard from Ninevah.  Any time we are handed what we perceive to be a hardship or unfair lot in life, the word of God tells us our suffering comes so that our faith is made more genuine. (1st Peter:6-8) Suffering results from three things...our own faults, the Fall, and for our faith.
1. Our Fault- Some of what we are handed in life is our own fault. The solution when we realize it is to own it. The first time Jonah did this was in the belly of the whale. When we own it, then God is free to pour out his grace. As Jonah prayed, "when we cling to worthless idols, we forfeit the grace". I have to admit that part of what has gotten me here is my own fault. I have to take responsibility for my part in the relationships with people in my past that led me to this place. If there is a pattern, I have to own it and I've told the Lord over a few tears that I do. I have to take responsibility for turning to things other than God for my sense of self worth. Even though I have gotten to a place in my life like Jonah where I was/am walking in obedience to the Lord, those issues were still taking up residence in my heart.
2. The Fall- The fact is that we live in a broken world. There are lots of things that can distract you, irritate you, or offend you. People will distract you, irritate you or offend you. The key is to remember who is ultimately in control of it all. God is and he will redeem it all.  Twice in the last chapter God asks Jonah, "Do you have the right to be angry?" I could very easily believe that I have the right to be angry in my current situation. I could very easily find reasons to be angry every day with the little annoyances that surround me. Jonah was so mad over a worm eating his shade bush that he wanted to die.  But the truth is this..."our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, authorities, against the dark powers of this dark world, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Eph 6:11-12) We can't let the enemy entice us with the bait of offense.
3. Your Faith- This leads me to my last point. The book of Jonah ends in a peculiar way as God responds to Jonah this way: " You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend to it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Ninevah has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" Sometimes what we are having to walk through is not about us, but for the sake of others. Our calling during these situations is to endure. This is where I am trying to live day to day. I don't know if my current situation if the result of my own fault. If it is, I repent. I don't know if it is solely because I work around some people who don't know the Lord and are malicious at heart. If it is, God will redeem it. But I do know that in every situation He works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28). One of God's main purposes is to bring people into salvation and an eternal relationship with him and he might be using me right now in some way to do it. Life...it's not all about me. Wow...now think back to part 1 and you'll really see how far I've come. Jonah's story ends here, but mine does not. It is still being written and in many ways I feel like I am being prepared, or made more genuine, for what God has in store for me this year. Thank God for second chances and the story of Jonah.

A Fishy Tale- Part I

I'm such a type A personality that I am always looking for new goals. I have to know what direction I am going in and have a plan in place to get there. Like running a race. So to suddenly be thrown a huge curve-ball in my life that did not fit into my plans for this season  has taken some adjusting. Initially in my situation I related to Joseph in the sense that I felt like I had been thrown into a pit by some folks very near me. I realized, like Joseph, that I serve a God who can take any situation that was intended for evil and use it for good. So I started looking at all my options and asked God fervently to open or close doors in my path. I realized that life is less about the decisions that are made and more about our response to them. All of us are subject to some authority at different levels. Therefore we will all have to face decisions that are out of our control, but nonetheless we are affected by them and sometimes profoundly so. First, I have to tell you this is a major change from the person I used to be and I owe it all to Jesus.
When I was in my 20's I had a clear vision of what kind of doctor I would be. The institution I would work at would have ivy growing on its walls and my credentials would be highly respected. Let me rephrase that. My credentials would be impeccable. Of course they would; academically I had always gotten what I wanted and when I set my mind to something I made it happen. Back then, I valued what was man made, not God made. So when the Air Force "drafted" me into it's residency program and sent me to Ohio, my absolute last choice, I was upset. I had to call those ivy walled institutions who had granted me interviews and tell them I wasn't coming. Upset is not the correct word....distraught was more like it. I literally threw myself on the floor of my apartment and cried. Looking back, my response was downright pitiful.  I remember a mentor telling me, "Jennifer, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Back then, my spirit cringed at such a notion. This was not part of the plan and I certainly wasn't going to be happy about it.  I went to Ohio and completed my residency, but my attitude about being there was not great.  Of course had I not gone to Ohio, I never would have met Greg, nor gotten married to him or had two sons named Cameron and Ben. I wouldn't be here writing a blog completely devoted to how God is working on one life...mine.  God knew what was best even if I did not.

Guess what? God is all about second chances. So it is not uncommon in our Christian walk that he might bring you around a certain mountain a second time to see if your response is a little different. This is where God led me to the story of Jonah. I went to Lifeway Christian bookstore and as I was checking out I saw a book by Priscilla Shirer, "Life Interrupted: Navigating the Unexpected." It was like a spot-light was shining on the book. The holy spirit said to me, "Buy the book." So of course, I did since the title seemed to speak right into my current situation.
Let me refresh you on Jonah's story. God wanted Jonah to go to Ninevah and preach to them. Jonah hated them and therefore didn't want to go. Jonah was a prophet. Therefore it can be assumed he was a godly man who had an intimate relationship with God. He was living his daily life for God and going about his work in such a fashion. Why would God want to send him in a such an unplanned direction when it was clear he was living for the Lord? (I'm building up how Jonah and I are cousins)  Anyway, Jonah did not want to go, so he ran away. As the story goes, he was then swallowed by a big fish. In the belly of the whale, he prayed to God for the first time in the story and things turned around. He was literally regurgitated on to dry land and had "a second chance" to go to Ninevah and do what God told him to do the first time. The difference was, the second instruction was slightly different. The first time, he heard the Lord say, "Go and preach..." The second time, Jonah heard, "Go and proclaim the message I will give you." The second time, Jonah knew the Lord was going with him.
So, how am I and Jonah similar? Ohio was like Ninevah to me. I didn't want to go. Although I didn't run away (I would have been AWOL, if I did!) my response was just as immature. I ran away emotionally from God's plan for my life. Now, fast forward twenty years. Life has again handed me an unexpected interruption to my plans. I'm getting a second chance to decide how I will respond to it and this time my attitude is completely different. Why? Because I have walked with the Lord and I know he is going with me wherever He is sending me and the outcome will be for my good. My faith and my experience tells me it is so.
This past month I have been held in the belly of my beach house, and like Jonah, doing a lot of thinking. So I realize that prayer will be the key to turning this thing around. Here is the last part of Jonah's prayer inside the belly of the whale and I will make it mine as well. Remember, I started this post, by telling you I am very type A, so the Lord has a lot to work on here. I'll get to that in part 2.

"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the Lord."   And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

Thank you God for how far you and I have come, even if we have to travel through places like Ninevah. I've come to realize that my walk with you it less about the destination (my eternal destination is secure) and more about the journey. As I stumble to move forward, may my story ultimately bless your Name. Stay tuned for part 2...a fishy tale.

Love Letters

It is almost Valentine's Day. The thoughts of the heart turn to love. I have always been sentimental and a hopeless romantic so I enjoy the notion of this holiday. Yes, I have watched "Titanic" like one hundred times, and I still cry. I just love a good romance. Fortunately, God blessed me with an amazing husband. Since he hand-fashioned it, the Lord knew the desires of my heart long before I did and fulfilled what I needed in Greg. He is my best friend, my partner, my confidant, and my love. So as I scrambled this weekend getting together my gifts for my boys at Valentines, God brought a couple ideas to mind that I wanted to share.

1. The first is that God is a romantic too. He is actively pursuing a love relationship with each one of us. If you were asked to name a 'character' who symbolized Valentines, I'm sure that many of you would answer, "Cupid." Cupid is  known for aiming his arrow at the hearts of potential suitors causing them to feel a new intense passion. God told us in Isaiah 61 the Messiah "would be sent to bind up the brokenhearted." The Hebrew word used for sent is shalack, meaning "to shoot forth." Psalm 127:3-4 tells us that sons are a heritage from the Lord...like arrows in the hands of a warrior...blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." John 3:16 plainly tells us "God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life." God only had one arrow in his quiver; his one and only Son. But as he looked upon you and me, his heart was overwhelmed. He sacrificially reached into the quiver and shot his solitary arrow straight into my heart and yours all for the sake of having a love relationship. That is the kind of love I consider worth living for and just like a good love story, it still manages to elicit tears of emotion over and over.  God is romantic and his touch ignites my passion.
2. Your life is a love letter. Each Valentines Day many of us scour the aisles looking for just the right verses to give to our sweetheart. I want it to be an adequate summation of the love that I hold for my intended beloved. In essence, a Valentines card is a short love letter. If I wrote a Valentine to Jesus, how would it read? Let's get straight to the heart of the matter. If my life were a love letter to Jesus, how would it read? Scripture actually tells us that we are letters for people to read. The issue is whether they spell out a relationship that is based on obligation and a bunch of rules, or one that is about a passionate love.  2nd Corinthians 3:3 (MSG) "Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read just by looking at you. Christ himself wrote it-not with ink, but with God's living Spirit. Not chiseled into stone (like rules to be followed) but carved into human lives (written on our hearts) and we publish it."
I felt like God caused this scripture to literally come alive for me this Valentines. I'm in the middle of a situation where I am completely relying upon my relationship with him. God said to my heart, if you simply concentrate on loving me most, people will be able to read that in your life, especially in the context of how you deal with adversity. That will speak louder than anything you might write or publish with your flesh. "Preach the Gospel wherever you go, and if necessary use words." -St Frances of Assisi 
Happy Valentines Day! 

Free or Captive: A State of Mind

First allow me to update you. It has been over 30 days since my last post and a lot has happened. As you might recall, or can go back and read, the beginning of the 2011 was marked by a rather public declaration by me and my family to take part in a 'radical experiment'. I knew that such a public proclamation would be met by opposition both physically and spiritually; I just never anticipated the magnitude. Almost immediately the attack came and I know the goal of the enemy was  to see our family fall backward in our commitment. The exact opposite has happened. The last 30 days I have been desperate for a word from God. I've sought him daily, beginning each day in his word as soon as the coffee starts to take effect and have remained faithful to our experiment. God would not allow me to write before now. Why, you ask? I've been a captive in many ways. When you are a prisoner, you become desperate for a word from God.  God speaks in a quiet, still small voice...a whisper. (1st Kings 19) That means no talking, but listening intently. To be sure, the Holy Spirit literally held his hand over my mouth so that when he did unleash me to write, it would be of the Spirit and not from my own flesh.
Not coincidentally all of my bible studies over this month have about about prisoners who were held captive, but were set free by God. God definitely perfectly timed these messages.
First I heard a sermon series based on the life of Joseph. Joseph "gave an unfavorable report about his brothers." (Genesis 37:2) Subsequently his brothers plotted against him and dropped him into a pit, leaving him there initially to die. He was instead sold into slavery at Potiphar's house; he was a captive to his circumstances. As a captive he was tempted to not do the right thing, but he stayed faithful to God. Because he would not fall into the traps laid for him, lies were told about him and he was put in jail. It would have been very easy to blame God for his circumstances, but Joseph continued to worship and serve God. Everywhere he went people could tell the favor of the Lord rested upon him. Ultimately he was placed in charge over Egypt and was able to turn his circumstances completely around. He understood from the beginning, "that what was intended to use to harm him, God intended  for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20) When people try to harm you, especially people who claim to be your brothers/sisters in Christ, the bottom line is that God can use it for your good and the good of others, even bringing others to salvation, if we will  remain faithful in our obedience.
My daily bible reading on-line has taken me through Genesis and Exodus. This has refreshed my memory about the Israelites captivity in Egypt and God's plan through Moses to set them free. God wants to set captives free. It is why he sent his son, Jesus. Isaiah 61 tells us he came "...to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." I learned some other things about God's nature through these readings.
1. God doesn't mind giving you signs or wonders so you will know how much he loves you. To move from bondage to freedom often requires stepping out in faith; we have to be confident in God's love to do it. In Egypt God used the plagues to set the Israelites apart. But Israel still had to move in faith even when it looked like they might drown in the Red Sea or starve in the wilderness. The other morning while driving to work I told God that I don't know how everything is going to turn out in my situation, but as long as I knew he was with me I can make it. I wanted him near me for himself, not for what he could/might do for me. The touch of his hand was enough  because I know He is good and he loves me. This is what was waiting on my desk when I came in my office that morning. Someone had 'dropped it off' for me.
Need a sign? If it means God showing his love for you, he will provide. There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still.

2. Just like the hearts of Pharaoh and his officials became hardened, God might turn the hearts of people against you to serve his purposes . In some circumstances to know that Jesus is all you need, He might have to be all you have left.

3.God doesn't just want to set you free from bondage. He is going to make sure you don't leave there empty handed. "I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty handed. Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians."

4. Live day by day. When the Israelites escaped into the desert, God provided manna and quail...but only enough for one day. My own circumstances and all the readings on captives being set free made me realize that most of whether you are captive or free is really the state of your mind. The bottom line is whether you are controlled by your circumstances or your knowledge of God. This was true for Joseph and the Israelites, and it is true for me. One of the best  modern examples of  this are found in the many stories from holocaust survivors, such as Corrie Ten Boom. Corrie's family is well known for hiding Jews during WWII and ultimately they were captured and sent to concentration camps. As a child, Corrie told her father she wasn't sure if she had the courage to be a martyr for Christ if that was called for. God may not be asking me to give up my life to follow him... or is he? What if my circumstances don't work out the way I want them to? What if I have to give up most of what I have lived my life for? What if my life as I now know is never the same? Corrie's father answered her this way: (as told by Corrie Ten Boom)
"Tell me", said father. "When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before?"
"No, daddy. You give me the money just before we get on the train."
"That's right. And so it is with God's strength. Our Father in Heaven knows when you will need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. He will supply all you need...just in time."
So for now, I continue living day by day praising my God, who will meet all my needs according the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19), and remaining obedient to a radical calling that might lead me where I did not intend to go. As Corrie once said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."